Maximus_Manimal

A Weekend of Interactions

2011-09-06T12:32:00.000-07:00

So over the labor day weekend, our home town did their annual celebration. This offers an opportunity to get out and see some of the people you live around and how they interact in social settings. For me, this offers an opportunity to confirm all the biases I have against people in general, and offers up a plethora of observations which make me question how/why our species has persisted this long, meanwhile speculating on just how much longer we will thrive.

The fun started Friday night when we had a to babysitter watch the chillins, and we went up to the top of Snowbird Ski resort to look at celestial objects through some nifty telescopes. The 1 hour introduction to astronomy was a little dry, but once we got to the top of the mountain things got pretty cool. There were probably 100 people in all that went up, but the wind was blowing a bit bringing the temperature down to around 40 or so. Half of them spent most of the time in the “warming hut” and went down early. There were only 25 or so there until the end. Most of the telescopes were 8-12” reflectors, though there was one automated scope that was pretty nice. Obviously we looked at the moon, which was almost blinding. Additionally, we looked at a few binary stars, the dumbbell and ring nebulas, the owl constellation, and a globular cluster. It was pretty neat, even though there was a fair amount of light pollution. I was glad that more than half of the attendants crapped out, it made the lines much shorter. There were only a few people taking pictures or using flashlights, so although annoying, it was minor. Then we headed down the mountain and got some dessert before spending the night at my in-laws.

On Saturday we went swimming at the pool. I don’t care for swimming in public pools for a number of reasons. Suffice it to say that I’d rather drink lake water that nasty warm salty soggy swim diaper kiddie pool water. Nevertheless, it was close to home, we had free tickets, and my daughter really wanted to go. We went with my sister, her husband, and their kids, and everyone seemed to have a generally good time. I know lifeguards are there to keep everyone “safe” but to be honest I’m pretty sure their job is to identify anyone who might be having fun, and proceed to stop it immediately. This did not happen to me, but to many around us. Want to have someone throw you in the air, so you can come crashing into the water? NEVER! Want to go underwater and grab someone’s legs, then lift them out of the water or pull them under? FORGET IT! Want to splash your friends from a few feet away? DAS IST VERBOTEN! Care to poop in the pool… go ahead, but everyone is going to have to get out now. Yea, that was how our swimming day ended. I think worse than knowing the fact that you were swimming in the pool where some kid had done the number two, was watching them scoop it out and then realizing the water was not to be refreshed before people were allowed back in. That is pretty gross if you ask me. Later that night we took Adria on a monster truck ride which she kind of enjoyed, but I think it also scared her a little bit. Then she got her face painted as a green kitty, and spent the rest of the night meowing adorably.

Sunday, Nikki took the kids to church while I cleaned the house a bit and worked on laundry… so THAT was some big fun. After church we went to a fish fry to consume the striped bass we’d caught at Lake Powell earlier in the year. The fish was great, and I was apparently designated the jungle gym for all the kiddies. We had a ball playing “tackle me” only it kind of turned into a game of pile-the-kids-up-and-sit-on- them. Only one got hurt, and it was Adria while I was swinging her around and a dog ran through my swinging space. The two collided and she bruised her leg pretty good. We went home and played on the swing out back with some glow sticks.

Monday was to be the big day for Adria. We started the day with a parade. I don’t care much for parades. There are too many people and they bother me. Additionally, people had been setting chairs out for at least 5 days, so you know there were going to be some EXTREME parade goers here. I had joked with Nikki about going out the night before the parade and swapping everyone’s chairs to the other side of the road, but we were pretty tired and it would have taken a lot of effort to move 2000+ chairs with the kind of precision I had in mind. So anyway, we found a nice spot on the grass near the ball field and I set up Ryker’s stroller in a comfy position so he could continue sleeping. Nikki had to stay home to work on some homework. Adria immediately took off her sandals and threw them on the grass. We were only there a few minutes before the parade began and oh how exciting it was (you know, floats and all… I’m being sarcastic). We were sitting back a bit from the road, so the little bit of candy being thrown wasn’t making it near us. I decided to take chuppa up closer next time someone was throwing our candy, so she could get a few pieces. It didn’t take maybe 3 minutes and she had a small handful, just enough to keep her satiated for a while. So we turned around to head back to our spot, only our spot was gone. Someone had set up a blanket right next to the stroller, and right on top of Adria’s shoes. As I walked back to get the stroller, I told Adria quite loudly that we’d have to move because someone had stolen our spot. She looked really sad which I thought was perfect. Then the lady that had set their blanket down says to me “oh, did we crowd you out?” to which I replied angrily, “yea, and you’re going to have to move your blanket so I can get my daughters shoes.”. She looked surprised and lifted up the blanket, I snatched the shoes and she said she was sorry as I walked away. We found a new spot before long and finished the parade. The most exciting thing was the monster truck they were giving rides in popped its front driveline right in front of us, stopping the parade for a few minutes. The thing really was a piece of crap in terms of workmanship, but it was a big deal for a 3 year old. I was glad to see this year that not a single politician was advertising in the parade (probably because it’s not an election year. Last year it was pretty bad. Every 4th or 5th car was “ FOR CITY ” and they’d run around frantically trying to shake people’s hands and have a “meaningful” 2 second conversation, usually about the fact that they were running for office (as if we hadn’t noticed).

Later that day we went to the carnival. I just have to say that I think there are only two main reasons that these carnivals use tickets instead of paying at the ride. (1) So that the operators don’t have to worry about making change. (2) So that the true cost of each ride is less visible to people. After all, who goes around back calculating the conversion ratio of dollars to tickets per ride (I mean other than myself)? It’s really a racket, and all the little kiddies will pay up because they can only ride once a year. So, chuppa had fun on the rides. Some were a little scary at first, but by the end she always had a big grin on her face. She was throwing her hands in the air on the ferris wheel and having a ball. While we were waiting between rides (right after the ferris wheel) I felt a rather large wet thing hit my hand. The skies were looking pretty dark and cloudy, so I figured it was about to start raining. Then I noticed that if the drop was that big, there should be a lot more of them. At that point I looked at my hand and saw what was obviously someone’s spit. I looked up sharply only to see a small head disappear quickly behind car number 3 on the ferris wheel. So I walked up to the operator and asked if I could have a word with the kids in car 3 because one of them had just spit on me. He was more than happy to comply, and I could see the look of terror on the kids face when as the car came around it slowed to a stop with me standing on the exit platform. I came right out and asked which one of them had spit on me, and they both flatly denied it. One of them kept glancing at the other in short rapid movements, so I asked him in a very loud and angry voice if he thought it was funny to spit on people. I could tell the operator was both enjoying the confrontation, but at the same time wasn’t sure what I was going to do to the kid. The kid finally admitted that he had spit, but that he had done it backwards over the wheel, not forwards. I told him that I thought that was a lie, and that I’d like an apology. I thought seriously about breaking his little nose, but the one thing that stopped me was just how serious a charge “assault of a minor” is and settled for having scared him (besides, they’d crucify me in the news). He apologized, almost on the verge of tears, and I said “alright now it’s up to the operator to let you finish the ride or not”. The operator told them to get off and not come back. It kind of felt good, but at the same time I wanted more than just an apology. I think in hindsight I should have asked for the remainder of their tickets and let Adria go on a few more rides. I’m not sure if it reveals anything that I didn’t already know about myself that I would have flat out punched a kid if it hadn’t been for all the witnesses and legal consequences. Maybe if a few more children were punched by people they thoroughly pissed off, they would piss off less people.

On the whole, between the kid spitting on me, the idiotic lady at the parade stealing my spot, the lady smoking within a few feet of the kids playground, kids that poop in the pool, the dozen or so that nearly walked into me because they were texting while walking and not paying attention to their surroundings, the fat disgusting lady making her grandson go beg for strawberries on her funnel cake because she didn’t give him enough money in the first place, the people that put crap under your windshield wipers while you’re at an event, the moron that flooded the toilet in the men’s bathroom, all the people who leave their chairs out for a week in expectation of a parade, and the people selling “survival bracelets”, I have just about had it with “people” for now. It would be nice to think that this was some kind of fluke, and I just happened to run into a few morons this weekend, but I think the truth is that this was a fairly representative sample of what we as a species are becoming. None of it was new, nor was any of it particularly harmful, just discourteous, thoughtless and insensitive. I know I always say this, but perhaps I should stop being such a pushover. Maybe I should entertain a vulgar verbal assault of ignorant women who take my spot, or bloody the face of delinquent children. Maybe then I’ll go from the guy that no one ever remembers to the asshole that no one can forget.

Theological Ramblings

2011-09-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

So here’s a rather random post. It’s about a silly idea I’ve entertained for a long time, more or less out of boredom with the typical explanations of existence. It seems to me that if some people believe there is an all-powerful entity beyond the realm of physical dimensions we observe, as well as time itself, then presumably they likewise hold that there is some boundary (be it physical or otherwise) beyond which our notions of causality break down. If this is the case then my little notion is just as likely as other theological explanations I’ve heard.

Suppose there is only one conscience in the entirety of existence. Think of it as just one person. The universe this “being” finds itself in is in all actuality a manifestation of its own mind, which is itself just a consequence of existence. To put it another way, this non-physical creature exists, but is only aware of the reality held within its own mind. Within this mind lies what we perceive to be the physical universe (space and time). This creature is not the creator of this space, it is the consequence of a conscious mind needing a framework within which to work (this sounds a lot more complicated than it is). Within this “mind-space” the creature becomes a physical being with a history, a present existence and an unknown future, much like a dream over which one has no control. This internal existence manifests very simply at first, like a tiny particle with no volume, a point particle with no properties. After some countless time the dream cycle returns on itself, but some of the previous memories seem to return involuntarily and intrude into the new dream cycle. This has the effect of increasing complexity, as the new idea can build on and interact with the old. The next manifestation may come as a particle with some weight, or charge, or spin (obviously I’m using physical traits with which I am familiar, but this does not have to be the case).

This recurring trend of cycling dreamlike existence with bleed through from previous cycles builds and builds until you have a universe which resembles our own. The laws which govern this space are never “created” but rather are themselves consequences of very early occurrences over which the dreamer had no control (they just kind of “happened”). After some time, the dreams take a twist and the dreamer becomes a self-replicating molecule. It is able to make copies of itself, and finds this irresistible. Eventually the molecule is destroyed (perhaps after some considerable time) and the cycle renews. Once again, some of the complexity is pulled through and the “universe” in which this creature dwells takes finer form.

Although the dreamer never becomes aware of this, it is interacting with the manifestations of its own imagination. In a sense, it is interacting with previous versions of itself, only in the same space and time. As the cycles continue, the creature expounds upon multicellular forms, advanced forms of self-replication, a myriad of complex forms, and interactions with these other forms. The ultimate consequence is what you and I perceive as individuality. Though we are only “ideas” in the mind of some self-unaware entity which exists outside of anything we understand, we think ourselves special and unique. We begin to refer to the dreamer as God, guessing at the nature of its intentions. The others with which we interact are manifestations from previous cycles, though some distortions (however minor) occur between the spaces, some like a nightmare. The chain of events which created us is too long and complex to be repeated exactly, and could never have been planned as the dreamer was never in control to begin with. Though many parts of our perceived universe have already “lived” the future, they are bound to our timeline. Within that timeline they have not yet lived through their entirety, thus the future remains a mystery to all on the same timeline.

As the cycles progress, the dreamer explores philosophy and science to degrees which seem endless. Eventually, the manifestations discover small signs of the cycle’s complex workings and realize they may be able to “see the future” with sufficient studying. They interrogate and probe their world restlessly. The dreamer stirs, and the manifestations ultimately realize that the dreamer has created everything, has lived as every possible “thing” for countless eons, and has been interacting with itself the entire time. At this realization the dreamer awakes and the existence created in its mind vanishes entirely. The dreamer now exists without self-awareness, without space or time, without any means of conception. Perhaps, the dreamer will again find itself with a mind, but it is impossible to tell. There is no time, no consequence, no law, nothing but a concept with an unknown potential to create something rare, strange and beautiful which can never be shared but from within itself.

It should be said that I do not hold this belief, nor is it particularly original. It seemed original when I first had the notion sometime in my childhood, but has invariably been influenced by my surroundings. Nevertheless, I think it’s on par with other more mainstream ideas of origins and universal purpose.

At last, an update

2011-08-26T14:37:00.001-07:00

So I’ve heard from many of you that I need to blog more. I am a little confused by this because in the recent past when I have blogged, the same people say things like “you shouldn’t be so negative”. IN the face of this conflicting feedback, I have just not written anything in the last 11 months. I would say that nothing has happened, but the fact is that a lot has happened I just don’t think that this is the most efficient means of dispersing the information to those who need/want to know. I estimate that any given post gets about 2.5 relevant comments, rarely exceeding one sentence. I get a considerable number of comments on older posts from spam advertising. This was a contributing factor in me basically forgetting about my blog for a while. There are other reasons in terms of things I wanted/needed to talk about not being… appropriate for this forum. Suffice it to say that I had my reasons for not updating for a while. Anyway, now on to some things.

In chronological order, I bought a new truck, I graduated college, we had a baby, I got a promotion, I did NOT get a bull elk tag, I went to Alaska… that’s about all the big stuff. I started an aggressive running program to get in shape, and after about 3 weeks developed shin splints and in the process of recovering lost all momentum and progress. Ryker, our new baby boy, is about 4 months old now and growing like a weed. Lately he doesn’t seem to like me much and screams when he realizes I am holding him. I feel generally happier than I did a year ago, though my overall thought patterns have not really changed.

Normally I have some sort of topic I try to adhere to, but due to the somewhat guiltily inductive nature of the circumstances prompting this post it is somewhat garbled. I will try to pick a relevant recent topic to more thoroughly explore.

Adria is growing up so fast that it is startling. Not seeing her for nearly 2 weeks, it was clear how quickly things are changing. It is somewhat frightening because I know the next few years are tremendously important in developing her personality traits. I need to be careful what I say, how I act, how we present ourselves in front of her, what we teach her, and most importantly how we place boundaries on her. I have always been of the opinion that children need to be free to explore the curiosities of their world to the greatest extent their safety will allow. It is so hard to allow her to place herself in the way of some minor harm (like falling off of a kitchen counter, or slightly pinching a finger) yet I know it’s the fastest and most efficient way to get her to recognize danger and set her own limits. I will caution her on obvious dangers and she has learned to listen to my advice (most of the time anyway). These small things will hopefully add up to an inquisitive and alert little girl who is not afraid to get out there and explore and learn. There are some larger upcoming concepts that have me concerned. For one, there is always the possibility that she’ll come up with a sex related question out of the blue. I pretty much counted 3 as the age where this becomes a real possibility, but with every passing day the probability increases slightly. Not knowing the nature of the exact question makes it difficult to prepare for. Additionally, there is always the question of how much to tell her. Do I just answer the question as directly and narrowly as possible, or do I hint at more ground to cover and feed her curiosity and risk overwhelming her with too much information? I have read and heard that it’s best to just answer the question as directly as possible, but I know that is not always my nature with something so complex and multi-faceted. I some ways I want to preclude any fairy tales about how babies are made, but the query needs to be generated by her. There is also the religious difference between her parents which complicated things. It is tender ground and we have not really explored it very much. Recent events have highlighted just how unprepared we are for navigating such tricky terrain. We have agreed that the primary concern is to agree on how to proceed so that she hears the same message from both of us, rather than a theological argument between parents with her acting as a proxy and trying to process the conflicting information. We still haven’t come to a complete consensus on her starting Sunbeams this winter. I have some serious reservations about it, and we only have 4 months to develop a common solution. I am inclined to just say no, but I know that doesn’t take Nikki’s thoughts and feeling into account. I just see it being so much more damaging than productive, even with mutual discussion about what she learned after church. I think it is nearly time to start exploring other faiths in an effort to expose her to more than just what is in the Mormon Bubble. It’s not too hard to find a Christian church to attend, and there is the Krishna temple in Spanish Fork, but other faiths could be much more challenging. There are a few mosque’s and synagogue’s in SLC, a couple Bhuddist churches farther north, but I think we’ll end up just teaching things like the principles of Jainism ourselves. Perhaps it’s a little early for all that, but I want her to be aware that there are many more out there than what she will be primarily exposed to due to the place we live. One thing’s for sure, there are a number of principals which transcend almost all religions that we can agree on to educate her with. Fortunately these are also some of the easiest to understand and present, so they’re perfect for her. I guess a day at a time is the way to go for now.

Happy Days

2010-09-29T11:02:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while since I had a good old fashioned downtrodden rant (about the length of time since my last blog post). So let’s get started. I have developed a habit, over the course of the last 20 years or so, of not only failing to look on the bright side of things (intentionally) but also mentally preparing and planning for the worst possible outcomes. For me, it’s a survival tactic (and I’ve recently found that it’s surprisingly common and has a name, defensive pessimism). Nevertheless, it has gotten worse over the last few years, much worse (or is it “better”). It’s now to the point that I actually will sometimes stop myself from getting excited about something I have every right to get excited about. My most frequent response to most things now-a-days is a muddled “meh” (said with slightly upward tone if ever so slightly on the upper side of “don’t-give-a-damn”, and downward if it’s negative). There comes a problem every now and then which threatens to make this behavior more exacerbated. When I actually do allow myself to get excited, and something goes wrong. Such was the case last night. As you all know, I am building a rock crawler. I am VERY close to finishing the front suspension with my custom designed and built 4-link coilover shock setup. In fact, all I was waiting for was enough money to buy the coilover shocks, and then mount them (all of the axel trussing, frame mounts, links, link ends, and axle rebuild have been done in the last few months). Well, I just hit my 5 year mark at work, and they have a thing where for every 5 years of service they give you a $500 gift of your choosing. Well it didn’t quite cover the shocks, but it put a pretty good dent in the price, and I was going to need them one way or the other. So I used the money to get them. I’ve been researching them for quite some time now, so I knew exactly what I wanted. Well they arrived yesterday. I was very excited when UPS dropped them off, but managed to force myself downstairs to finish some homework before I opened the boxes. I won’t bore you with the details, but there is some assembly required. The dual springs need to be installed, the natural ride height adjusted, and the whole setup fine tuned. Some of this is going to need to be done on the vehicle, but I figured I could assemble the springs and see how they looked complete. Right as I went to install the first spring, I encountered a problem. The spring won’t slide over the stop ring (I don’t expect you to know what this is, but the spring SHOULD glide smoothly over this both during assembly and while in use). So I ran downstairs and got my digital calipers and started taking some measurements. The ID (inner diameter) of the spring is correct, the OD (outer diameter) of the shock body is correct, however the stop ring OD is too large. In fact it interferes with the spring by 0.012”. And when you include the bolts which are supposed to clamp this ring down, it adds another 0.061” for a total interference of 0.073” (this is about 4 times the thickness of my thumbnail). This will not work… period. These things are brand new, fresh off of the machine (which is in Las Vegas somewhere) and they have a serious problem like this. Furthermore, they appear to have been designed this way. This means that they didn’t include springs in their design constraints (which has me concerned for other things). I can’t help but wonder how ANYONE has been able to utilize these shocks? Maybe they recently changed their design and failed to consider all of the appropriate information, but this design cannot work. And you know something, I really shouldn’t have let myself get so excited about them. Because when something goes wrong, and I have over $700 worth of CRAP that I can’t use, I get a little angry. And all of that excitement crawls into a cocoon for about 20 minutes, and when it emerges it has morphed into a vile, witty insult spewing, deep cutting, unreasonable, high concentration maniac fuel. This is a bad time to write someone and tell them they screwed up, but I did it anyway. Time will tell what their response is, but my plan now is to post a blunt and angry review on some of the 4x4 forums I frequent and then design and built my OWN stop ring (which will probably take several days of my scarce free time). The problem here isn’t that something went wrong and I’m overreacting. The problem is that “people” fail, and they seem to do so frequently related to the few things I allow myself to get excited about. Solution 1, “people” need to stop failing (this solution is trivial, it’s like having an eigenvalue of zero, it doesn’t mean anything and it’s not really possible). Solution 2, eliminate the ability of “people” to let me down (i.e. do not get excited about ANYTHING EVER AGAIN!). Solution 2 is workable, however it aggravates a pronounced antisocial condition, and certainly doesn’t do anything for improving my outlook on life. So lets make a list of upcoming events which I have already gotten excited about, or may possibly get excited about.

Hunting season starts soon, and I generally look forward to it. I should expect that the weather will be too hot, I will see nothing worth shooting, waste a few tanks of fuel and 3 weekends, and come home frustrated and empty handed.

We should have another baby soon. I should expect that the child will have significant illness/deformities and rather than succumb to these challenges shortly, will persist for years. Before the child eventually passes away, it will have destroyed our financial situation, our peaceful household, our marriage, and what little shred of sanity I have left.

I should be graduating next spring. I should expect that there will be an issue with credits which has somehow been looked over by both me and the academic advisor several times. This will prolong my graduation indefinitely because of a lack of motivation on my part.

I should get a promotion next spring when I graduate. I should expect that should I actually graduate, the position will fall through and I will have no choice but to leave my current job because they cannot pay me enough, and I cannot justify working for that kind of money with a BS in physics. Also, whatever job I do get will suck. Alternatively, I am offered the position, but at a significantly lower salary that is acceptable.

I should be able to get a new truck next year. I should expect that I will not be able to sell my current truck for anything near what it is worth, so I won’t have sufficient money to justify the purchase. If I do happen to sell my truck and am able to make a purchase, I will not be able to afford what I want, so I will settle for something which I can afford and hate it for the rest of my life (which is probably how long I will own the truck).

I have always wanted to retire early and spend a great portion of my life doing what I want to do each day. I should expect that the reasonable savings I have built up will be required for some unforeseen disaster (and although it may stabilize some bizarre situation for the time being, will delete my ability to stop working before death). Or that, try as I might, inflation just outpaces my ability to save. Or maybe my assumptions about future income will prove to be too inflated (as described above). Perhaps my will to live will have just withered and I’ll spend the last few years of my life urinating on sidewalks and cursing everyone around me under my breath. Or maybe I’ll move to Alaska and live like a filthy hobo in an abandoned bus (if there is room, some of the reports I am hearing lately suggest I may be one of many who end up in this situation).

I should state that my reasons for writing this stuff down isn’t because I think anyone will care. It’s more for documentation purposes, sort of a way to tell myself “I told you so” when I do something stupid. Also, to provide a few data points along the way so I can figure out how I ended up… however I will end up.

Adventures on the 75 foot Epic Fail-boat

2010-07-20T07:28:00.000-07:00

As some of you mat be aware, this past weekend (namely the 15th through the 19th) Nikki’s family was holding a family reunion at Lake Powell. Apparently, the proceedings were funded by Nikki’s grandmothers estate as one of her final requests. Due to the large number of people attending (around 20), the boat would need to be rather large to accommodate the masses. Plans were made, food prepared, and reservations held. A 75 foot house boat capable of sleeping everyone, a smaller “speed boat” and a number of Jetski’s were to be on hand for use by all of an appropriate age. I had my reservations at first. I have been to the Christmas parties, seen all of the teens and twenty something’s. I figured it’d be a week on a boat in very hot weather with nothing to do because inconsiderate younger people had taken, destroyed, or run out of fuel every interesting piece of water craft available. However, as the weeks counted down into days, I received word that most of the younger people would not be attending, and those that would be were too young to legally operate such equipment. I began to get excited thinking that I might actually get to have a bit of fun on a day or two of this escapade. Then word came that we may actually be getting an inside cabin, instead of sleeping on the upper deck. I started researching diving locations on Lake Powell and exploring the fishing prospects, both of which left me more excited. I scheduled a diving trip, and procured all of the necessary equipment. After looking into fishing, I picked up a few new lures and educated myself on how to fish for Striped Bass (along with Small Mouth and Large Mouth). I even contemplated buying a Hawaiian sling (a cheap yet very effective underwater spear) for the Stripers and Carp. I was getting pretty excited, and as the days turned into hours I packed everything, made list after list of things we still needed to get together, things we needed to do when we got down there, and things which were already done. Nikki was working on homework for her classes, so it was pretty just much me pulling everything together. By Wednesday night, all we needed to do was throw some ice packs in the cooler, load everyone up, and we were on our way. You may have heard that Nikki has started graduate school, and had begun her first two classes in May. One of these classes was to terminate in a final which was to be taken online on Friday… which put it in the middle of the first full day of our vacation. Nikki found a place at the marina she could take the final, all we needed to do was get there from the house boat some time on Friday between noon and 9pm (central time), as this was the ONLY time the professor would open the test. Nikki checked with her mom who thought that would be fine, and plans were made accordingly. Thursday morning came, and after some argument about what time we should get up (I wanted to leave no later than 6:30, and… lets just say I didn’t get my way) we were on our way. The drive was fairly pretty, but we had to cruise at a pretty good clip to get there on time. No tickets, but I was generally going about 15 over the given speed limit when traffic would allow (I HATE minivans… especially from California). I wanted to be there at noon so I could catch the hour long orientation of the boat and, presumably, be able to functionally operate it if the need arose. We were too late, so we just went straight into Page Arizona to pick up our scuba gear. We then headed for the boat, and began to unload our stuff. Over half of the stuff we brought was diving related, and took up a fair amount of room (4 tanks and two very large duffle bags to be precise). The rest was a duffel containing our clothes, some fishing stuff, and some kitchen and food related items we were assigned to bring. After loading it all up, I needed to go up to the marina store and get a bag of ice, and a reciprocal fishing license. Lake Powell splits the border between Utah and Arizona, and current regulations require fishermen to obtain fishing privileges from both states. So I left Adria and Nikki on the boat, and went to get my stuff. It took about 20 minutes, but I finally found what I needed. The fishing license cost half of what I was expecting and the ice cost about 4 times what I had expected, but in the end it all washed out. I parked the car and made the very hot walk back down to the boat. The bag of ice on my shoulder felt fantastic, but at the same time I was quickly melting $8 worth of ice I badly needed to make my homemade ice cream. When I got back to the boat I was hot, tired, had low blood sugar from having not eaten since breakfast (before the 5 and a half hour drive) and just wanted to get on, find a quiet spot on the boat and enjoy the ride. As I stepped onto the boat, Nikki (looking visibly upset) told me that there was a “serious” problem. Apparently, her Uncle had been arranging everything and there was some miscommunication between parties. It would NOT be possible to get back to the marina on Friday for Nikki to take her test. This led to a decision, either we remain on the boat and just forget about her final (likely resulting in a failure and costing us over $2000 for her to take the class again, not to mention the damage to her transcript and the possibility of being kicked out of the program) or we get off of the boat and go home (passing on what will likely be a once in a lifetime opportunity). I tried my best to find alternate solutions, but either the heat or just my lack of cleverness made the effort fruitless. Jetski’s… not enough fuel. The smaller boat… privately owned and the owner was apparently not willing to take us back (or something). Could she take it on her cell phone over a 3G network, signal was spotty at best and the final had a large essay portion… not easily completed on a touch screen phone keyboard. There were no viable alternatives. By this time, people were edgy because of the heat and the fact that we were a bit late leaving the dock. We were being forced to make a decision quickly and so we decided to get all our stuff off the boat and go home. Forced into a position a simple phone call would have prevented, we loaded all of our stuff back into the car. Quietly, we drove back to Page and returned the scuba equipment we had rented (fortunately, the guy did not charge us for the rental). It was then decided that I needed to get some food or I was likely going to kill someone. We had a sub par meal at the “Dam Grill” where the service was horrible and the conversation nonexistent. Then we got in the car and, with Adria sadly saying “I wanna go on the boat”, drove another 5 and a half hours home. We arrived just before 10pm, brought in the few perishable things from the car, and went to bed. I could kind of feel that I was getting too excited about the trip, but I was under the delusion that all of the critical bases had been covered. This was the biggest disappointment I have had in a very long time, and I am troubled to think of the long term implications it will have on my already “not-exactly-peachy” outlook on things in general. So rather than play on the lake all weekend, I got up early on Saturday morning to rent a trencher and spent the rest of the weekend installing a new sprinkler system in our backyard in near 100 degree heat. And THAT was my summer vacation… THE END.

Periscope Down

2010-06-29T12:19:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I haven’t posted anything in a while. Part of the reason is because I made a little promise not to post anything saddening, angering or even remotely political. Since these comprise the majority, happy and noteworthy events are somewhat scarce. Nevertheless, I finally have something interesting to post about. As some may have heard, Nikki and I have become recently scuba certified. We did our first post-cert dive in Monterey Bay California over the past week while on “vacation” in San Francisco. The water was quite chilly (my console read 47 F) but it was still pretty neat. We got a bunch of Abalone shells, saw some fish, and even a couple of big crabs (I’ll include some pictures as soon as we get them developed). We’ve also planned a dive this coming Friday (July 2nd) out at strawberry reservoir and another at deer creek (air permitting). They should be pretty neat too. I always wondered if it would be worth it to be dive certified in Utah, because it seemed the only time you’d get to do anything very interesting is when you were on vacation somewhere tropical. To the contrary, I was rather surprised to find a thriving dive community here in Utah, with many places catering directly to divers (Sea Base for instance). Also, there are a number of volcanic spring fed water bodies around that make for great winter diving (or so I am told/have read). I have found I really enjoy it (which is just what I need, another Hobby I will hardly have time to do), so I might as well dig in while it’s still fun and try to keep life worth living. I am in the process of procuring some of the basic equipment, and planning out for some more of the advanced stuff. Based on rental prices, it only takes 6 dives per year for 5 years to break even on purchasing your own equipment (and this includes everything but the tanks, which you really don’t want to own anyway). However, those are based on local prices at the dive shop where we have a member’s discount. If I were to base it off of what we spent in Monterey, it’d be closer to 7 dives… total. One kinda odd thing is that this fall and winter when we’ll have a bunch of our own equipment and want to go diving, Nikki will likely be pregnant… and unable to dive with me. This means I’ll either have to find another buddy to dive with (not very easy considering my hermit like sense of social interaction) or just not dive. And who knows what next year will be like with TWO kids, Nikki in Grad school, etc. So it sounds like this summer is my chance to have some fun, while I still can.

A fresh breeze of hope... from the landfill of life

2010-01-25T15:54:00.000-08:00

Well it’s a new year, and as is the status quo I am feeling semi-guilty about having neglected my dank little hole in the intertubes for some months. As usual, the new year brings with it reminders of what you have failed to do in the last year, and should feel compelled to put forth extra effort in this grand new opportunity. So, I’m back in school… basically submitting myself to another 4 months of being constantly shown (via mathematical proof and physical concept) how stupid I am. Seriously, there are very few days when I leave school feeling upbeat about how I have performed. It is now time to start preparing for graduate school (you know, so I can prolong the suffering even more, and heck lets amplify it if we can…) and I feel utterly unprepared and incapable. I still wander back and forth on whether or not I want to go, whether it’s a good idea or a fantastic waste of time and precious money. I have considerable doubts about my ability to handle graduate school, as I have doubts about my ability to do most anything anymore. I suppose if I procrastinate much longer, I’ll have made my decision by default. Anyway, I keep having inclinations to keep a journal. I can’t explain the urge, as I have many reasons for NOT keeping one. My life is not, and will not be, anything of interest to anyone other than perhaps my children (and for them only around the time I die). Do I really want them to know what kind of person I really am? I think I’d prefer them to remember me as the goofy, slightly smelly, play toy that had hair on his face. I’ll probably just wait until the feeling subsides and forget about it all again until next year. Besides, as I have learned in many previous examples, if I put it down in writing and someone else gets a hold of it, then I am liable for the information contained therein. That’s probably not a good scenario, best to keep my crazy thoughts to myself. I also keep having urges to read, and by read I mean something other than textbooks (which I get plenty of on almost a daily basis). I have a number of books lined up that I’d like to get through, I just never have the time (or if I do have time there are so many other things I need to catch up on that it falls to the bottom of the list). Maybe if I live to retirement age, I’ll have an opportunity to wither and atrophy away in a rocking chair with a pile of great books by my side. Then there’s the part of me that wants to get out and DO things, like rock climbing and horse riding and… boxing with a Tyrannosaurus Rex or something (they can’t reach ANYTHING with those tiny little arms). As soon as it warms up, I need to get out and do some shooting. I got a shiny new tactical scope for my hunting rifle, which means I had to play musical scopes on at least two of my guns, and I also have a shotgun reloading press that needs some attention. So sometime in the next couple of months I’ll get to have some fun. I’m trying not to venture into the abyss of politics, but every day the people who “run” this country find new and creative ways to piss me off and further degrade my paltry hope in this nation’s future. It seems with almost every bill passed, every election, every Senate or Congressional session (even state legislators sessions) the reasons for believing our political system merits existence decrease to an alarming new low. Two things seem clear to me. One, if anything is ever going to change in the way our country is run it will require the election of one who is not a politician and is abjectly opposed to the way the system is run. Two, nothing short of a complete re-write (starting at the constitution and working forward from first principals) across all branches of government including the military, and at all levels (federal, state and local) will be sufficient to put our country back on track to being something I could take pride in. Without that, it’s merely a pathetic, wimpering, spineless leach on the land and the hard working and innovative individuals keeping the human experience progressing (at least for the lucky few able to appreciate it). I am reminded of the book Atlas Shrugged. And that’s all I’ll say about politics today. We watched my sisters kids (as those of you who were at chris’ party are aware) and while they were pretty good and well behaved, it was a very good insight into what life would be like with three children. Therefore I can say without reserve that I no longer having three children (intentionally having three children) as a viable option I terms of my mental and physical health. In fact, were it not for a growing body of data documenting how single children fail to develop proper interpersonal relationships, I would not even consider two children an option. So on the down side, it looks like I must have another child… and somewhat against my will and intuition. On the upside, it’ll be the last one and I’ll be getting myself snipped… (I just considered what my life has become when the GOOD news is the mutilation of my reproductive organs… what happened?).

2009-10-22T08:16:00.000-07:00

Ugh, it’s Thursday. I typically don’t care much for Thursday’s, mostly because I’m tired of work and school, have a backlog of homework, a dirty house, and it’s not yet Friday. All of these things are true of today, and then some. In addition to having enough things to do to keep me busy for an entire weekend, I am also trying to kill a deer. This means that all the things I SHOULD be doing over he weekend will have to be crammed into Sunday night, or done up at camp. Thus far I seem to be doing pretty well in all of my classes, but it’s starting to wear on me. I am ready for a break where I can just enjoy things for a while. Some time where I am not running from work to school, back to work, home, foodening myself really quick, homework and then a few hours of sleep. I suppose I kinda got spoiled this summer with having no classes and a reasonable amount of free time. I suppose that’s how it goes. I don’t presume to be the only busy person out there, most everyone I talk to and see is involved in a similar spiral. Time seems to be moving faster and faster. In fact it’s approaching the point that I wonder if it’s just all the stuff I’m doing or if there may be some bizarre phenomena which alters the flow of time for everything but the human internal chronometer (a silly notion, but what the heck). Lately I have been struggling with motivation for… well pretty much anything. I have to continually tell myself that what I am doing now WILL be of some tangible benefit sometime in the future. Nevertheless, it seems to be getting harder and harder to just put my head down and drudge through the swamp of life. I keep wanting to look around and when I do I see all the things I am missing, many of which fill me with sorrow. I look back on my life thus far and see so many stupid mistakes and useless endeavors and wish I had done things differently. It makes me look forward and wonder if what I am doing now will turn out to be another useless activity, if I’ll waste the last few years of my twenties slogging through school and making minor contributions at work. To what point and purpose? I want to ask myself “is anything I am involved in going to matter in 50 years” and with the exception of raising Adria I don’t think there is anything. Even still, that only really matters to a couple people, and I fear that I’ll screw that up as well and she’ll resent me as her father. I look at what I consider to be the most important things anyone could do in their lifetime, and I have neither the competence nor the funding to make even modest progress in any of those areas. Where do I go from here? Do I just shrug it all off and put my head down, relying on past trends for encouragement, and go through the motions of my rather unimportant existence? Do I risk everything and pursue selfish desires at the risk of alienating my family and still failing horribly? Will I just waffle back and forth over what to do until it’s long past time to act on either decision? I don’t know the answers to these questions, and furthermore I don’t think I’ll ever know until it’s too late to do anything about it. How do we measure success in life? Will I fail merely because my standards were too high? Do others succeed only because their standards are too low? Does any of this even matter? In the end the only one that really cares about my happiness is me, and likewise the only one that cares if I am miserable is me. If I have done what society considers the right thing to do, then no one will notice, much less care. It seems only when stark deviations from the norm occur (typically negative) that people take notice. I don’t know really how to end this except to list an example that would perhaps result in some significant outcome:

I could devote my life to the advancement and enforcement of extreme feminist movements, resulting in the isolation and “population control” of all males of the species. After all, they don’t need us for the species to survive, right? A few well bred male specimens could keep the entire world population sustained. This would eliminate things like rape, sexual harassment, pornography, adultery, gay marriage, the need for women to compete with each other for attention, having to look for a female gynecologist, many sports, STD’s, unwanted pregnancy, urinal cakes, and a host of other real benefits. In addition, the whole world may even migrate to the same “cycle” enabling the formation of planned monthly holidays.

Normally at this point I’d close by commenting on how I’m going to hide from the 2-3 female’s that actually read my stupid blog that I have just offended, but today I fell more like saying bring it on, just make it a quick death.

Teh Endzorz Is Nigh!

2009-09-28T16:24:00.000-07:00

So there has been a lot of talk about this 2012 end of the world thing, and by talk I don’t just mean joking and making fun, it seems that some are taking this stuff seriously. Near as I can tell looking at it briefly, it seems to all be based on the end of the Mayan calendar which stops on December 21st 2012… a short three years away. I got curious the other day and started looking into this a little more and I have to say that I am fascinated to watch this unfold. It reminds me somewhat of the Cargo cults in the early parts of the 20th century. It looks to me like a case of mistaken causality combined with observation over what the Mayan culture was capable of (namely their astronomical achievements in predicting eclipses, planetary orbits, etc). Much of this is collected in their calendar and it is an admirable piece of work considering the source and time frame involved. To save you a trip to Wikipedia, I’ll inform you that the Mayans were at their peak at around roughly 600AD and were considered, by people really interested in things that happened around that time, to have been one of the most advanced… blah blah blah. I could drone on about agriculture and other boring things that may interest anthropologists, but I’m talking about something INTERESTING. So I’ve heard many people say something along the lines of “you know the Mayans had and still have the world most accurate calendar” and I’m sure that many of you have heard similar things. Unfortunately, it seems that people routinely make the assumption that accuracy has anything to do with breadth of acceptance. In reality, the scope over which your theory or idea is likely to be accepted has more to do with how loud and obnoxious you are (in this case religion played the according role) and to what extent you are willing to go to make people accept what you have to say (namely war and/or complete obliteration). Since the virgin sacrificing Mayans were so far removed from the white mans cooties, they were ripe for the picking by the time the conquistadores got the idea of raping the culture for everything it was worth (not much as it turned out… I wonder if they had date-rapers remorse after it was all said and done?). So let’s examine this claim of “most accurate calendar EVER” to some shallow extent. Mayans didn’t have telescopes so they could only note the planets one can see with the naked eye (turns out to be five if you pay close attention). So based on some keen observations, they made a calendar to suit their needs and which explained what they were able to see and understand at the time. So what are the important dates on a calendar if you have no presuppositions based on religious hand-me-down’s and a banking system looking for excuses to knock off for an early weekend? Well, there are 4 major ones that’ll be pretty important for growing things. Since the earth is off kilter a little bit compared to the plane in which we orbit the sun, we experience seasons. When the equator is in line with that plane of orbit, we call it an equinox and it happens twice in an orbit (namely Spring and Fall). When the angle of rotation is at a maximum for being out of line with the plane of orbit we call it a solstice, of which there are also two (namely Summer and Winter). Now, there is no reason that the number of times the earth rotates has any correlation to how long it takes to travel precisely once around the sun, we end up with a non-integer number for days in the year (it ends up being like 365.2424 days per year). Because of this the solstices tend to move a day or two each year depending on which calendar you use. In 2012, the winter solstice will be on December 21st at 11:11 am UTC (Coordinated Universal Time… it’s another French acronym so apparently order doesn’t matter). Sound familiar? As for why the calendar stops in the year 2012, lets take a look at some things. Lets pretend you’re the historical equivalent of an astronomy graduate student charged with doing the professors dirty work while he gets busy smashing skulls to appease the gods of maize. He’s figured out the essential formulas and you get to crunch the numbers that he’ll take credit for when he presents the new calendar at the semi-annual Yucatan Junior Science Fair and Book Signing (or stone chiseling… whatever the Mayan analog may have been). So you go to town chewing away at the numbers ever so diligently. After several months of grinding work, Professor Quetzalcoatl is impressed with the progress that you’ve made and delights in how good you’re making him look before telling you to wrap it up. You’ve come a very long way, much longer than you’d hoped, but it looks like you’re terminating your calendar far enough in the future that some fifty generations will pass before anyone needs to fiddle with it. The point is that the calendar couldn’t have gone on forever and had to stop at some point. Why not end at the finale of a full cycle, in particular the winter solstice of some year so ridiculously far in the future it makes your abacus finger hurt to think about it (and yes I know that ancient Mayans probably didn’t use abacus’** to tabulate, but I bet they used the same finger… **is it Abacuses, Abacus’, Abacii, Abaculengitis, Abacuphobia, Abacudabra…?)? So the fact that the Mayan calendar ends has only to do with the fact that it’s finite (a rather redundant statement) and doesn’t necessarily coincide with some big event like say… oh let me think of a cogent paradigm… the Apocalypse? Besides, the Mayan’s made absolutely no predictions about the end of the world (that we’ve been able to decipher anyway) and even if they had why would it occur on such a local maxima? Nevertheless, the theories are beyond abundant. There’s the nuclear holocaust predictions, the massive solar flare enthusiasts, the Planet X collision conspirators (a.k.a. Nibiru), the Alien Visitation guru’s, the earths magnetic pole shift/reversal junkies, the Large Hadron Collider corroborators, the Christian Apocalyptic society, the list goes on and on and on. One more instance of waking up the next morning and having to think REALLY hard about why you screwed up again and the world didn’t end when you SWORE it was going to. Coincidentally, if any of you wish to pursue this avenue of dystopian thought, I’ll make you an offer. I’ll pay you CASH today (for you to enjoy as you see fit) for your worldly belongings, AND I’ll even let you keep them until December 22nd 2012. When you wake up that morning to me rifling through your stuff and wonder for a moment if this is heaven and I’m your spiritual Richard Simmons, just remember that I get to keep everything…

Quarterly Update:

2009-08-13T11:51:00.000-07:00

So I haven’t written in a while, there hasn’t been much to write about. Summer is nearly over and I have been working on the house and yard here and there. This summer has been pretty nice as far as weather is concerned. In fact if every summer could be like this then maybe I wouldn’t hate the season so much. These cool weekends have been giving me the itch to build stuff and kill things, two major urges I get in the fall. Along those lines, I have finished the 220 Swift and now I need to get out and check the system to see if everything is alright. When I was deciding to get the barrel, I worked up a custom load for it and was able to get about 0.25 inch groups at 100 yards without much effort. Presumably, since the chamber hasn’t changed at all, the load will still be safe in that barrel. Also, the load I worked up was by no means high pressure, and was several hundred feet per second slower than what that round is capable of (If I remember correctly I was pushing a 50 grain bullet at about 3500fps, or roughly 3 times the speed of sound). I have a small number of that same load worked up and I’ll use those for pressure checks. Once I have verified the load is safe in the new setup, and established smooth trigger operation and proper functioning of the gun as a whole, it’s time to load up a bunch and do some precision tuning. I plan to pillar bed the stock and it has been cleared for full barrel float. Right now I only have a crappy Simmons 3-9x40mm scope on it, since I am not made of money and can’t afford to buy what I really want. Eventually I plan to transfer my 6-24x50mm off of my 270 hunting rifle onto the swift, but before I do that I need to have my new tactical scope for my hunting rifle. I have my eye on a Millett Tactical TRS-1 4-16x50mm with illuminated mildot reticle and turret sight adjustments for windage and elevation. It has some pretty good reviews and looks pretty good for the price. Now if only I could come up with the moneys. Anyway, I hope to get a chance to start my pressure work this weekend, but who knows. Additionally, I need to get out and buy some powder for my 270. Every time I have gone to Sportsman’s, they have been sold out. Apparently they are filing for bankruptcy and want to minimize expenses while they do so. I’ll probably end up getting it somewhere else, since I want to start working up some high precision loads for my hunting rifle. I have considered adopting some techniques used by so called “benchrester’s”, including separating my brass by weight once they have met the correct external dimensions, outside neck turning my brass to eliminate defects, and working on my shooting skills. Ideally I’d like to be comfortable reaching out to 1000 yards with that rifle, whereas right now I am only reasonably confident out to about 750 right now. I have taken antelope near this range, though I do so with great caution due to the higher probability of merely wounding the animal and not being able to recover it. Not to mention the planes of Wyoming can be really bad with variable cross wind, and at that range could deflect a bullet several feet if not careful. Besides, if I feel I can comfortably reach out to 1000 yards I should have no excuses in the range of 3-500, which is where many of my deer and elk shots have been taken. I think once I get my Swift set up I’d like to get out and do some Coyote hunting. It’d give me an excuse to get a Ghillie suit and deck out my gun so I can go play sniper. I was thinking it might be fun also to build a ghillie suit for bird hunting, although for it to work properly I’d have to keep a very low profile and I’m not sure how I feel about laying prone in the snow for hours on end. Now that I am nearing the end of one gun project, I find myself looking or the next one (you know, because I have ALL of this money I just can’t seem to spend fast enough… riiiiight). I am looking at either an AR-15/AR-10 (haven’t decided yet) OR to go ahead and start working for a .50 BMG. The AR is more affordable, but they are both going to set me back a couple grand (roughly 1800 for the AR and about 2800 for the BMG). These prices are pretty much just for the base weapon, and I’ll want to make a number of additions. One other thing I have been thinking about lately is getting a class 3 license. I need to do some research on whether or not that includes silencers/suppressors, but it might be a cost effective way to go if I’m going to get into some serious weaponry. I have wanted to play around with subsonic loads for either my Swift or my SKS, and why only go half way with a subsonic round when you can add a silencer and drop below the 100 decibel mark. Unfortunately, it’s illegal to BUILD a silencer, though you can buy one if you have the proper permits and such. The problem is that they cost around $800, and frankly I don’t know that it’d be THAT cool. I should probably stop fantasizing about how to spend grundles of money that I don’t have, and probably won’t have for quite some time. Lesigh…

Introspection

2009-05-19T15:08:00.000-07:00

Things about me that I have never understood:

*Why do I dislike myself so much?
*Why do I feel that others are simultaneously threatening yet somehow necessary?
*Why am I not comfortable sitting down when I am in large crowds?
*Why am I so often troubled by my own thoughts?
*Why am I so much more concerned with the happiness of others than that of my own?
*Why can I sleep 6 hours and get up fine, but at 7 hours or more I struggle greatly?
*Why can I feel so many conflicting emotions at the same time?
*Why do I have to try so hard to control my emotions?
*Why do I get mildly depressed when I see an attractive woman?
*Why do I so frequently want to be alone?
*Why don’t my second knuckles have any hair on them?
*Why do I instinctively distance myself from others?
*Why am I so intimidated by women?
*Why don’t I cry more often?
*Why are people so susceptible to bias?
*Why do I feel like I am so different from other people?
*Why am I so nice to people who don’t deserve it?

Other things that I have never understood:

*Why does the word “Weird” not follow the “I before E” rule?
*Why can’t electrons have different charge values?
*Why is it that so often the thing you want most is the thing you’ll never have?
*Why do rain drops form at such a seemingly constant rate?
*Why is carbon so much more versatile than other elements?

Some assembly required

2009-04-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

Alright, well the beast project is in full swing and significant headway has been made. A few weeks ago, I finally acquired some cheap headers from a guy I found on KSL.com. After mounting those up and making a few other last minute tweaks and modifications, she was ready to fire up. After a lot of chugging and coughing, I discovered I had transposed two plug wires. Once I had corrected that error, I advanced the timing a bit and she fired right up. She ran a little hot at first, but most likely because the coolant system wasn’t fully primed to begin with. After a good 5 minutes of letting it run and checking all the ins and outs, she was idling beautifully (albeit loudly, no exhaust system yet) and working like a champ. After the engine was buttoned up it was time to move on to other things. One reason for getting the engine set was to verify how much space I had to work with for extending the firewall out a bit. Apparently people in 1955 who drove these Land Rovers were quite short little people. As you can see in the picture, I have removed the firewall and much of the floorboard. I intend to move the firewall out to improve legroom, while lowering the floorboards a bit to fit some actual seats (instead of the little pad of foam they used to call a seat. Without having all the steel, I am unable to progress significantly on the firewall portion, so I moved on to the rear suspension. Really all I needed to do was extent the rear tie bars to match the length of the inverted leaf springs. However, after seeing what this suspension design was capable of, I became particularly interested in doing the same to the front. And since I had plenty of heavy wall tubing to make more tie bars, I decided to use the existing tie bars for the front suspension and make new ones for the rear. A little fab work, and the new tie bars were ready to go. Once swapping them in (actually more of a pain than I thought it’d be, mostly due to the height of the vehicle and the lack of good anchor points for a high lift jack) the rear suspension was nearly complete, and already remarkably flexible. All that is left to do is modify the rear shackles to work properly at extreme angles, and paint it all up to look pretty. What’s really neat is that even with the stock 30” tires I have this thing sitting on for the moment, I still have a departure angle greater than 90 degrees (meaning that if I try to back into a wall, the tires will be the first and only thing to touch the wall, making it much easier to navigate my way up said wall). From here, I did a little cleanup work and cut off some of the stock brackets left on the frame, and basically cleaned things up a bit. Then it was time to move on to the front, although designing anchor points for the tie rods to connect to the frame is going to be a little difficult due to the space constraints in the front end. In the rear it was easy, there is nothing to contend with back there, no exhaust, no engine, no transmission and just the tail end of the transfer case. In the front I have all of these things to contend with, as well as the fact that the front driveline enters off center, meaning if I am not careful with the design it’ll interfere with suspension linkage. So I’ll have to take my time and model up the whole frame and axle assemblies carefully to verify that what I am doing is really going to solve my problems without creating others. Since I can’t make a great deal of headway on the front suspension, I decided to move on to the steering system. It was pretty obvious that the stock steering column for the Land Rover wasn’t going to work, so I was left to find a way to get some other steering column in their. Remaking the firewall pretty much gives me full say so on what I can and can’t do, but there are still some notions of price effectiveness and practicality. If money weren’t an issue, I’d either build one from scratch or have one built for me. Nevertheless, this is a budget build (at least right now it is) so I decided to use a chevy steering column I had kicking around. It was a column shift for an automatic transmission, and has no tilt, but if I build it properly, both of those things should prove to be no problem at all. After tearing down the whole thing, I discovered that the shaft lengths and indeed the entire column length is adjustable, provided you cut the few tack welds holding it in place. A little grinding, a bit of pounding with a hammer, and I was easily able to trim 12 inches off the length. Now all I have to do is build the firewall in around it and I’m set for that bit. That more or less covers what I have done already, now here are some of the things I’ll be doing shortly. Once I get the steel I need for the firewall, I’ll build that in as well as the floor boards. Tonight, I’ll be doing a little shopping to get two heim joints and some paint so I can modify the rear shackles and start cleaning up the rear suspension for paint. One other thing I’ll need to iron out and plan for is the hydraulic clutch kit. It should be fairly easy, but is still something I need to take into consideration while building the firewall and subsequently building a petal tree. Also, if I have sufficient time (which means I probably won’t get to it tonight) I’ll be making some measurements of the front axle and then removing it so I can start planning in the front suspension and building a truss for the front axle (think of it as a massive reinforcement, as well as a convenient place to connect suspension linkage). The front will be a 4 link system just like the rear, only instead of using inverted leaf springs I’ll be using professional coilover shocks with a dual rate spring setup. After researching these a little, I regretted having already build the rear suspension and I think I’ll probably end up going this route at some point, though since the rear is already build and assembled, I’ll try it out (especially since the coilovers are so expensive). Even with the leaf spring system in place, I should be pushing about 20 inches of articulation in the rear. The front should be a little more at around 28 inches (though I may have to cut that back via limiting straps for driveline considerations). In the end she should be very flexy. My goal is to have approach and departure angles greater than 90 degrees, and be running 44” tires (which I have already taken into account for the suspension and body clearances). And I should be at about 115” for a wheelbase when all is said and done, though it’ll be somewhat adjustable by +/- 6 inches or so. Before too long though, this project is going to stop being a cheap tinker toy and evolve into an expensive hobby. After the suspension is all buttoned in and ready to go, I need to start buying things like Hummer Beadlock Wheels, 44” tires, Front and Rear Lockers, Front and Rear Ring and Pinion Kits, Propane Conversion Hardware, and so on. Still, that is a ways away yet, and for now I only need cash flow in the 100 per month range (for about the next 5 months or so, then things get all weird and I need lump sums of several hundreds). Anyway, I’ll be sure to post again soon, hopefully with some pictures showing a bit of new paint so she’s not so ugly!

Motivational

2009-01-14T11:02:00.000-08:00

Seems like a good time for an Update. Christmas was good to me, and to most everyone I know. I got the 24” 1920x1200 monitor I had been wanting, and a whole mess of other goodies as well. New years gave me a good opportunity to try out the new machine in its fullest completion under a LAN party situation, and I was VERY well pleased in how it went. Now, the new semester has started and things are rolling right along. Classes seem pretty good so far and I think it’ll pan out to be a very enjoyable schedule. I have been unusually motivated to DO stuff lately, and have a number of projects I am working on to keep me as busy as possible. I will detail; a few of them here because I plan to document them well and post a complete report here on the ole blog in the future.
First, I have wanted to work on my truck lately. I have a short list of mechanical issues I’d like to clear up to start with, but I am more excited about starting on the interior restoration. I say restoration, but it’s more of modification and modernization. I have plans to rework my dash board entirely, filling in and smoothing all the cracks in it for starters, then modifying and improving the dash vents to include defrosting fore the side windows and a better spread on the windshield. I’d like to change the heater ducting to more adequately fill the footwells, and clear up some space under the dash for other components. I’d like to move the stereo into the dash, so it’s more accessible to the passengers and more visible (instead of pointing at your lap). I intend to move into the dash from there and clear up some of the wiring, as well as completely customize the gauge panel. I have my eye on a complete universal Digital Gauge panel from Nordskog. It runs about $400, but contains everything I will need for standard systems monitoring. I will replace the original gauge panel with one that I will most likely design and build myself. They have aftermarket ones to fit my truck, but I don’t really like the looks of any of them. From there, I’d like to insulate the roof, doors, vents and particularly the floorboard from noise and for thermal isolation. I will be resurfacing the door panels with a vinyl fabric for a leathery look. Eventually I’d like to replace the seat, though I haven’t come across a solution I like yet, so that’ll have to wait.
The second project is an in depth, statistical study of the thermal benefits associated with building a submersed computer. I have already build a tank to hold the components, and I will show some pictures of that when I have completed the project, but I will essentially be building a computer inside of a small “fish tank” filled with mineral oil as a cooling medium (as opposed to air or water). There are a number of benefits to this setup and a few substantial drawbacks, all of which I plan to cover fully. I am primarily concerned with a scientific and thorough analysis of the thermal advantages of such an undertaking, including the straight across differences in cooling performances, advantages of aerating the oil (for “convectional” heat removal) various types and patterns of oil circulation, feasibility of “easy” super cooling with Dry Ice or Nitrogen, etc. I plan to document things fairly thoroughly, and if anyone is interested in helping I am interested in having some assistance.
Third, I am looking to finish my 220 Swift and post an article on load workup and precision results (with all kinds of shiny pictures). All I need for this is the headspace gauges and I’m in business. An addition to this project is also the switch barrel for the 6.5x55mm Swedish Mauser (we have just been calling it the Sweed). More to come on this later.
Lastly, as soon as I can get to my Rock Crawler (currently under/behind about 2.5 feet of snow) I would like to finish some of the minor engine wiring tasks in preparation for starting the engine this spring. I’ll need to acquire some headers relatively soon, and complete some minor cooling system gaps, but once these are done I’ll be ready to fire the engine up. It is my goal to have this done BEFORE school is out so that I can spend a significant amount of free time this summer taking care of the steering system, braking system, and finalize the front suspension. If I can get those done by the end of summer, All I’ll need is drivelines and to install the Hydraulic clutch and this thing will be able to drive under its own power. That’s when the fun starts (as that’s when I can start testing and tuning the suspension, tweaking the designs, and generally enjoying the work I’ve done over the last few years).
So that’s what I’ve been up to, and what I hope to be doing for the next while. Any questions?

Giddy with Excitement!

2008-12-18T15:48:00.000-08:00

So I have finally gotten my butt in gear and purchased the components for my new gaming machine. It took me a while to decide on a few of them, but in the end I am quite happy with the results. Before we get into the new stuff, I’d like to talk for a second about what I am upgrading from so you can get a feel for my excitement and pleasure at the prospect of a new system. I built my last system in 2003 using an AMD Athlon 64 3400+ processor, and MSI K8N Neo platinum (which up and died on me in the middle of a LAN party and was subsequently replaced with an Asus board), 1GB of Kingston HyperX Memory, and a BFG Tech NVIDIA 6800 Ultra graphics card (On AGP nonetheless). Still a great system that has served me very well, but the demands of newer games have proven to be a little too much for it (resulting in my subsequent cutting back on gaming). For the new system, I wanted to try some multi core stuff, and try my hand at a little bit of overclocking. Other than that I pretty much wanted the best bang for the buck and planned on spending about $1500 on the system (just core components since I can shuffle things a bit and use cases I already have). So I decided what I wanted, begged and pleaded with my wife to let me get them, and was able to order the components about 5 days before the end of the semester (which will give me something to do besides homework). Since AMD has been struggling quite a bit lately, I decided Intel had the best performance for the price on processors. I was having a hard time deciding what to get right up until I came across a bunch of articles on the barely released Intel Core i7 series (and by barely released, I mean in November). After reading the results of overclocking the 920 model (the lowest model) and comparing them to the Extreme top end 965 model, it was a no brainer to save $700 and get the 920, then overclock it to beat the 965 (seriously, not at ALL hard to do, even on air cooling). Since the i7 is a totally new design, it requires a totally new motherboard as well. Asus has served me very well in the past (although I have heard some good things about Gigabyte) so I went with the P6T Deluxe (I decided I didn’t need the Palm edition which has a little USB handheld devise to overclock the BIOS while the system is running). Being torn on the memory to use, I opted for a dual channel kit from OCZ. I went this route because at the time all of the triple channel kite were heinously expensive (though they have dropped significantly in the last few weeks) and based on many articles I’ve read, the new QPI setup the i7 processors are using for the internal memory controller are not able to utilize all of the bandwidth available to the memory. The result is that a triple channel kit is more money, and not much increase. I eventually plan to fill out the board with 12GB of RAM, but for the time being I find that 4GB is more than my system can use (due almost entirely to the speed at which it is accessed). Now on to graphics cards, which is one area I didn’t want to cut any corners because of the way this system will be used. I had a choice between the NVIDIA GTX 280 and the ATI HD4870x2. Performance wise, these two are fairly similar (though one or the other tends to gain a tiny lead in specific tests, they are both quite capable). In the end it came down to future plans and cost, and the day I went to order the GTX 280 was on sale for $350 AND a free copy of FarCry2 AND had a $35 mail in rebate (so in like 10 years I’ll receive a $35 check and will have forgotten why). This made the decision for me and I was set. I do have plans to add a second card later on (you know, get some kinky card-on-card SLI action going on), though the price will have to come down a bit before I can justify it to my personal accountant (A.K.A. my wife). To power this setup, and all future plans, I calculated that I would need at least a 750W power supply. I decided on the Antec TruePower 850W and am VERY please with the decision. Modular cabling, tons of power, 5 year warrantee, $120, life is good! I have had plans to transform my current machine into a Media PC, but I will defiantly need more hard drive space, so I threw a Western Digital 1TB and a Lite-On DVD burner into the order (since my stupid HP lightscribe DVD burner stopped recognizing any kind of DVD about 2 months after the warrantee expired). Total, out the door with shipping and everything was a few pennies under $1470 (Mission accomplished). I did try to twist a little harder and get a new 1920x1200 24” LCD added to the mix, but the Nikkinator shot me down (maybe for my birthday?). Below are a few pictures of the boxed components and the assembled product.

An astute observer will note tat memory is in neither of the pictures. This is because it was coming from the other side of the country and was a few days behind the rest of the stuff. Nevertheless, I couldn’t wait to get things assembled. So it’s assembled now, and I was very quickly able to get all my games imported (since all I had to do was convince windows that the games were on the drive I was pointing it to). After XP was fully updated and I had installed all the latest drivers, I just HAD to try out a game, and the inaugural game was Left4Dead with all the settings maxed out. HOLY CRAP! There is a TON of detail I was missing before (very noticeable) and the game runs absolutely flawlessly (sorry no fps numbers, system isn’t optimized yet so there’s no point). Next on the list, Try Vista ultimate 64-bit and see if DirectX 10 really makes as much difference as some say it does. I can’t say for Left4Dead, but I did notice some extra eye candy in FarCry2. Not a huge difference, but enough to notice. One thing that has really surprised me, Vista isn’t as terrible as everyone says. This could just be because I’m throwing more resources at it than it knows what to do with, and the fact that I have given it quite a while to mature, but I think it might be alright for now… (famous last words?). It defiantly runs faster than XP (probably not a common experience, and I’m comparing 32 bit XP to 64 bit Vista). Anyway, after attempting to run 3DMark vantage it became painfully obvious that what people were saying about the i7’s was right… the stock heatsink is INSUFFICIENT!! 50C at idle and 80C under load at stock settings (no overclocking) makes me really nervous… so it was back to Newegg to try and find a big fancy aftermarket heatsink for a processor that has been out less than 2 months. There were two options, and one of them looked pretty good and had a TON of good reviews (I guess this little heat issue of the i7’s is going to make a few heatsink companies VERY happy, at least in the short term). An extra $60 and I was back to waiting (I haven’t installed it yet, because it was delivered just a few hours ago and I’m still at work). I am very anxious to try some overclocking as it appears almost effortless to get these things to overclock well beyond the 965 Extreme numbers (sure glad I saved myself that $700). Hopefully sometime soon (next week or so) I’ll have the heatsink installed and some overclock numbers to report, as well as some benchmark scores to brag about (I did get 3DMark 06 to run in XP with the stock cooler and at stock timings and got a score of just over 17700, but I’m sure it’ll get better as I play around a bit). Now for the real business, we need to get a LAN party going sometime soon so I can really take some dedicated play time and see what this thing can do.

Thrice he cried

2008-10-17T16:18:00.001-07:00

Could it be that it’s already time for installment three? Perhaps, I seem to be compelled for some reason to blog lately. I have been implored to maintain a journal from time to time and have tried on occasion. However, I really find it difficult to put my thoughts on paper (or into bits as it may be) for a number of reasons. First of all, finding the time every day or once a week is often difficult. A minor reason I know but they get better. Second, I don’t feel that what I have to write about is all that important. My children will likely not have enough interest in me to warrant the intake of thousands of pages on my mundane life. Furthermore, they will undoubtedly be strongly opinionated about their own convictions and my wrongness by the time they are of an age capable of reading that much. The only possible benefit it may advance them with is having something nostalgic to look at after my death. The third, and most important, reason is that I have a lot of thoughts. I mean a lot of them and many of them are not acceptable for public consumption. Having these thoughts in a form which may be used against me (in a court of law or otherwise) is not something I am willing to subject myself to. Not to mention, if you put it down in written form, you may have a difficult time repealing that opinion later on. Kind of like in the game of politics where if you EVER change your opinion on ANYTHING it’s not seen as a virtue of newly acquired knowledge, it’s seen as being wishy washy and changing sides because you never looked at it thoroughly in the first place. I do not know what the future holds for me in terms of politics and/or any officiating chair or otherwise, and as such I cannot voluntarily add fuel to the fire of self hatred. Admittedly, I would have to be persuaded pretty hard to take any kind of public office (for a lot of reasons, one being that I don’t care much for people in general). I suppose that my blog here could be seen as a type of journal, however the things I post here are often sanitized against my inner self and phrased in a semi-socially acceptable way. Anyway, moving onto the next topic. I have never liked large cities. They may be fun to visit every now and then, but their novelty dies off pretty quickly. Even Salt Lake is a little too busy for me most of the time. It seems that when you get that many people living and existing that closely together, sanity runs in short supply. I think that sanity may be a concept like an electric field. You have a given space (say the size of a city) in which this electric field exists. The field is not infinite, but as long as the supply of electricity is greater than the demand for it by the insane occupants of the area (again, the city) then you’re fine. However, if the city gets large enough and the population density grows to exceed the supply of sanity, you don’t generate more sanity to go around, and that which exists doesn’t even get distributed equally. What you get is some that are well adjusted and capable of living in the provided conditions, while at the same time you get others who are very maladjusted and cannot handle the conditions, yet are unable to compose enough sanity to leave. Therefore, people get hurt. Now, you may be commenting on the seemingly unexplainable phenomena of insane people out in the sticks. This has to do with an individuals capacity to utilize the sanity supply, and there may at times be dark spots on the globe in which sanity does not exist at all, either permanently or temporarily (see Washington DC and most of the Middle East). Now I cannot understand people who think it’s a romantic notion to live in a large city for an extended time period (namely my wife). It is not know to what extent television sitcoms have perpetuated this idea, but city life is not fun, easy nor desirable. I tend to equate it to living like a small community of king crab in a very large pot of water which is slowly rising in temperature. To make it worse, the other crabs are cannibalistic and have an eye on you. When I met the Nikkinator, she held this notion that city life was everything there could possibly be. She wanted to remain single for a while, go have some crazy girly adventures in conquering the world… and I changed that. I did not WANT to change that, but it happened. I’m sure that if one were to ask her, she’d have nothing but good things to say about the choice she made to marry me and accept the unknown life together verses the unknown life in her own private Gotham. That’s the point I want to get at really, that my mere existence in her life changed her dreams and altered her perception. I wonder to what extent this happens every day without us realizing it. To what extent can the presence of one individual effect the course of another life, even if the two never meet face to face. I think it’s effects are more than we realize, and what’s even scarier to think about is how YOU have been effected by the decisions of others. Looking at things from a third person perspective can be helpful at times, but it’s imperative to realize that none of us are in any way impartial observers. We inject our own biases and beliefs into everything we do, including observe. I am reminded of an interaction I once had with a homeless man who would not leave me alone. I was 17 and all I had on me was an empty wallet, my keys and a pocket knife. When the guy asked for money, I told him that I had nothing except a pocket knife. He instantly related a story in which all of his “homeless buddies” had pocket knifes but he didn’t have one. I hesitated, but under the pressure of being alone and aggressively beseeched, I caved and gave the man my pocket knife. It was not until later, upon reflection, that I came to the conclusion that he had undoubtedly lied to me and manipulated me. I hated him for it because I really enjoyed that knife and have never found a suitable replacement for it. Not to mention it in no way improved his lot. Since then I have a starkly suspicious eye on every homeless person I see and refuse to give them money (not to mention all the fraud stories you read about people making a good living off of begging). Furthermore, I think this may have contributed considerably to my hatred of salesmen and their pushy tactics (I refuse to cooperate when I am pushed by salesmen, often ending in me leaving angry and under unreasonable circumstances). This was an example in direct contact, but like I said it doesn’t have to be. For instance, all I need to do now is see a homeless guy standing at the end of a freeway off ramp and I get to thinking about my past experiences with beggars. I try not to let it effect me but I will inevitably be put in a dampened mood. Another example is that of helping people on the side of the road. I used to help about half of the people I saw (mostly out of time constraints). A flat tire or a gallon of gas are so easy to take care of and will only put one out about 10 minutes if you know what you’re doing. However, I had two really bad experiences in a row with people who felt that I owed them something (I guess they had to wait too long for someone like me to pull over) and one of them was remarkably concerned that I’d mar up her rims with the metal star wrench that came with her vehicle. So I stopped helping. I no longer stop to help people on the side of the road (unless it’s very obvious that they are in serious trouble and have no idea what they are doing). These are two lame examples I could think of off the top of my head, but it illustrates the point nonetheless. When we allow other people to incite changes in our lives (with or without our permission or even our knowledge) we are handing a little piece of ourselves to them. In some cases, we don’t have a say in the situation and pieces of us are taken by force (rape, abuse, etc.). However these are comparatively rare. In many more cases, we do it voluntarily, in little tiny increments, thinking that we are in control and still have a grip on things. It is easy to say at this point that you will one day wake up and realize that you’ve given a significant portion of yourself away, but I don’t think it’s like that at all. I think it’s far more likely that if you’re content with having given part of yourself away, probably to things which you feel are good and honorable, you’ll never be presented with a reason to challenge that sense of security. If you happen to realize it, you are still quite likely to justify everything you’ve done. After all, you’re an intelligent being who can’t be fooled very easily… right? You list out the reasons for why you are who you are, and are unaware of those outside factors which have influenced your life in remarkable ways. You simply ignore underlying assumptions, because they are either so basic that you feel they don’t need to be justified with a response (they’re “obvious” or “common knowledge” or “someone you love and admire assured you this was the case”) and as such, they are left out of the equation. When in a situation like this, in which a person is reflecting on their fundamental beliefs and the real core of who they are, they are not looking to upset the apple cart (so to speak). They are looking to validate their own opinions and justify their currently held views. They look for the positives and avoid the negatives (both consciously and unconsciously). It is this that scares me the most. I wonder what assumptions I have overlooked, and fundamental “truths” I’ve had handed to me rather than coming to the conclusions myself. How can I discover these kinds of assumptions and where should I start. Furthermore, SHOULD I even try to do something like that, realizing that if I do happen to find something which needs changing, correcting it may have repercussions which cannot be foreseen. Is it healthy for a person to delve so deeply into their own Psyche and start making changes? What’s the best possible outcome of such an adventure, and conversely what is the worst? How do these two extremes compare with one another and to which side is the scale weighted? What is the relative probability of ending up at either the worst or best possible scenario? Is it a smooth and normalized bell curve, with the highest probability at the center, or is it heavily skewed to one side. Are there any areas which I feel are “off limits” and if so, why (Isn’t that just ignoring the problem and lying to myself?)? If the changes enacted within myself are seen as positive and I move forward, how will it affect my relationship with other people (spouse, family, friends, etc)? Is this something which should be documented and made public or should it be kept self contained and held within so that the situation is as much under control as possible? Am I strong enough to keep it all in, or will I burst at some point (or develop noticeable neuroses as a result)? What if the changes are bad, what if they have unexpected side effects? What if I get lost and don’t know what to do or how to come to a conclusion? Is there anyone who can help (sadly, I feel the answer is no)?

State of Mind

2008-10-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

To continue the topic with installment two here, I’d like to talk about music and entertainment. As many of you may know, I enjoy music from pretty much every range of the spectrum, with only a few exceptions. I find very little worth listening to in the realm of Hip Hop and Rap (primarily for reasons of the perpetrators reeking of teenage angst, anger and poor education), and I think most all of you would agree. With that in mind, I can appreciate a great deal of the remaining categories including: Classic Rock, Country, Rhythm & Blues, Ambient, Alternative, Pop, Heavy Metal, Soft Stuff, Musicals and Opera, Classical, and many others. I have recently been on a kick to expand my music collection and have come across a few new categories that I didn’t know I liked before. Evanescence has a pretty decent sound and I have enjoyed several of their songs in the past, but only recently have I learned that they are classified as gothic rock. In the spirit of curiosity, I have been exploring some of the bands associated with this genre and am pleased to report that I like a number of them. Generally characterized by a darker tone and subject matter, they fit right in to my scheme. Further, I have expanded my search to include other dark music styles and have managed to find a few which more than just a deep voice mumbling incoherently into a microphone. Nox Arcana had become one of my new found favorites, partly because it reminds me of Christmas in a dark and brooding way (as I’m sure you all know this corresponds greatly with how I perceive Christmas). The Nikkinator says it makes for great Halloween music, and I can’t deny this claim though I tend to pick up hints at something deeper in the music. One of their albums is heavily influenced by the work of Edgar Allen Poe (right down to some of the lyrics and the albums title, The Raven). In essence, I have found some interesting music in a place where used to think there was nothing but awful grunting and laughable lyrics which are supposed to be all satanic and what not (really, it is hard sometimes to listen to some of these without laughing, even more so when the individual actually believes in what they are doing). Another area into which I have been exploring lately is meditation. I looked into a few “guided meditation” CD’s and downloaded a couple to try them out. Some were a bit odd and kinds hard to take seriously while others were a little too emphatic on the listener’s relationship to The Buddha to apply to anyone who is not Buddhist. Still, there were a few that actually have some good things to say and have become enjoyable. One thing I do have to say is that having played D&D for some years now, and having an overactive imagination to boot, has really made it difficult to extract benefits from mentally visualizing myself doing some of the things suggested in these meditation courses. The whole “mental projection” thing id sort of “old hat” by now though I’m sure that there are other individuals out there, perhaps cubicle slaves in some large city, that don’t exercise their imagination’s much and have become entrenched in the mundane and these types of exercises will doubtlessly provide some benefit for them. In the meantime, I listen because it’s relaxing and allows me to put school and work away for a while and just be content. This brings me to another topic, namely that of business. I am the king when it comes to being busy (or at least a lower level duke of some assortment) and I think it has begun to wear on me. As I mentioned last time, I am closing in on 30 (seemed so old when I was young, mainly because my parents were in their 30’s when I was in my teens) and am not feeling too good about it. I still have a few years before I hit that dark milestone, but the fact remains that it’s approaching much too fast for my tastes. Now with a child and still the likelihood of several years left in school, I find myself without personal time. It seems every spare second is taken in meeting the expectations of others (homework, family, general household maintenance, etc) and at the end of the day I find myself just wanting to go to bed so I can at least dream about having freedom. The really tragic thing is that whereas I used to dream of crazy crap like being chased by large carnivorous dinosaurs (this was even before Jurassic Park came out, though was certainly aggravated by it) or flying without wings or anything, my dreams lately have become sad any pathetic. For instance, the other day I dreamt that I was a little older and had 3 children (Adria at about 7, another younger girl and a baby girl) and we were struggling to get them ready so we could go to the store. I suppose in many ways this could be considered a nightmare, and indeed this was the impression I took away from it, since the prospect of having three children scares me. Nevertheless, it shows a complete lack of initiative. I mean what could be more boring than dreaming about family life? I miss the dreams I used to have about adventuring in outer space, or existing in an M.C. Escher drawing and having to find a way out, or turning into a 60 foot tall horned demon at school and burning the shredded pieces of all the kids who ever made fun of me (comprising about 2/3 of the school populous) before engaging in an epic Godzilla style battle against the US armed forces. I used to have a number of recurring dreams, in one of which I would be on the top floor of a massive sky scraper (like really huge) in a room which took up the entire floor and was windowed on all sides. In the middle of the room was a colossal table made of black wood, and had no chairs around it (just the table). On the table was a pile of toys several feet high and covering the entire surface of the table. All kinds of toys, every type you can imagine (or at least the ones I could imagine at the time). I remember I would always walk over to the table and, after searching for a moment, pull out a Gyroscope to play with (yea, of all the remote control cars and various other toys, I picked the gyroscope). I would take it and walk over to the window to look out. It was always night outside and there was a snowstorm to rival any before seen in history taking place just on the other side of the glass. I would watch the storm for a moment, fascinated by its power and beauty before I felt the building begin to sway slightly from the hurricane force winds. The building would sway a little at first, then slowly build up tremendous harmonic rhythm and begin to sway violently. As I stood there, staring out the window, the building moved so far that it began to topple. I would always be on the side which broke so that I was looking out the window facing the ground as we screamed toward the streets below. I don’t recall ever having had any reaction to this, just watching out the window as we fell to the streets below. In classic dream fashion, I would always wake up fractions of a second before impacting with the ground, my heart racing. Why can’t I have dreams like that any more? I miss the excitement they used to bring into my dull life. No, I am predisposed to dream like Arnold Rimmer in Better Than Life, taking all my friends down with me to the point that we all end up buried neck deep in wet sand with our faces painted with strawberry jam in anticipation of approaching killer ants. Sometimes I get weird, like that dreams are an inter-dimensional mode of communication between various alternative versions of yourself. In some ways it makes sense, and I’d like to devote some time to showing it’s possibility mathematically (that is if I had any reason to believe that it wasn’t just my imagination running wild again). This brings me to another subject I wish to talk about for a bit. That is, to what extent does an active, or overactive, imagination play into ones ability to grasp and thoroughly comprehend some of the bizarre concepts presented in relativistic and quantum realms of science? I found it kind of unexpected that people would have such a hard time grasping that as things moved faster, they shrank in the length of motion, or that time is not an absolute, but can be manipulated given certain criteria. Topics like these seemed a little strange at first, but when you begin to comprehend how your preconceived notions are playing into how you think the world should work, it becomes much easier to see no only how these strange concepts could be possible but also how the human mind would think it unnatural given our evolutionary state in small gravity, medium size, and comparatively slow motion. What else were we to expect to see? Anyway, I’d better stop here before I launch into another 6 pages of elaboration on why I love science and math so much and the power they have to explain everything we see.

It's life Jim, but not as we know it...

2008-10-13T16:12:00.000-07:00

So Halloween is creeping up on us again (you like that? creeping up on us… BWAHA!) and Christmas crap is already starting to flood its way into a retail outlet near you. Soon, we’ll all being asked to pay homage to the gods of commercial advertising who will admonish us all to forfeit our earthly monies in exchange for cheap poisonous merchandise from China. Nevertheless we will all be merry because that’s the attitude the season calls for and we’ve all apparently lost our originality and uniqueness in favor of a hive like mind and an automaton like relationship with “The Man”. However, some of us have stayed behind to guard the ever decreasing echelons of sanity and reason and will tend the fires in anticipation of those who may wish to return some day. Having our first snow “storm” (more like a light piddling from a young puppy) of the year, it’s apparent that we’re heading into an early winter. We’re approaching the halfway point through the semester, and while I haven’t been on the top of the scores list, I am certainly doing well enough to pass all my classes. Lately it’s been fairly difficult to find motivation, and I don’t mean just for school either. I’ve found it hard to get excited about work, school, hunting, camping, driving, walking, cooking, eating, sleeping, and pretty much everything my ample body is required to do. I’m not sure what this lack of inspiration could be stemming from, but it seems to be trickling its way into all areas of my life. I can speculate on possibilities, such as my age rapidly approaching 30 and the fact that I am now a parent and thus have completed the cliché middle aged white male stereotype. If I end up buying a minivan, it will officially be time to grab a razor blade and take a dirt nap in the tub. A few weeks ago, I was recalling some of my aspirations from high school (spurred on by my mother giving me a bunch of my old school stuff). It’s interesting how you think life will be when you’re young and have no idea what life is REALLY like. I was reading some of my papers from the lithe SEOP (Student Education & Occupation Planning) meetings where I listed what I wanted to do when I was out of school. Apparently, and I vaguely recall this, I wanted to be a prosthetic engineer, which is to say that I wanted to build replacement limbs for human patients. I think what I had in mind was that I wanted to build war machines for military uses, and the narrow minded, lackluster counselor wrote down the closest thing they could grasp to what I was trying to explain. Nevertheless, things have changed considerably since then. I think it’s funny that when you’re in high school you’ll hear people say that they’ll be a brilliant computer wiz with a huge chain of stores and a massive portfolio, a private yacht and a small harem. You’ll never hear a them say that they want to be a mid-level shift supervisor at a computer parts retailer, still lives with their parents and is doinking one of the girls from the shipping department. It makes me wonder to what extent we set our selves up for failure by our own unreasonable standards. It is pumped into us from a very young age that we can do anything and be anything we want to be if we try hard enough. By the time you’re 35 or 40 you’ve realized that it’s no longer possible for you to achieve what you wanted, all the pieces are now in place for a mid-life crisis of epic proportions. I think about where I am and the dreams I currently have, and then I retrospectively observe the path I’ve trodden so far and how I have fallen far short of pretty much every dream I have ever had, it makes one tempted to project current trends into the future. I still have some dreams (though they pale in comparison to where I thought I would be at this point) and can’t help but think that I am not going to be able to acquire those dreams within the time available to me. I would like to see myself finishing my degree, moving on to graduate school and obtaining an advanced degree (probably still a PhD in Nuclear Physics) and then moving forward into the world with great plans of working with some of the greatest minds on the planet on fantastic projects which will hopefully yield vast improvements in human technology and understanding of our universe. Then I think about things from a realistic standpoint. I am an average guy with reasonable intelligence who is still an undergrad in an infantile physics program at a barely established university in the Midwestern US and has to work full time to meet his obligations to his family. Many of the more interesting problems relating to fields I am interested in have already been solved and by people with much higher intellects than I, leaving me to likely fill positions in the “just-above-peon” category. I haven’t made any friends with terrific political relations I could exploit to advance my status nor am I privy to sensitive information which could be used to blackmail my way up the chain. Basically, I am average and it appears that I’ll be staying this way for quite some time. Now I am sure that you all are thinking about all the good things that I have, like a lovely wife and daughter, a nice home, a good job, etc, and I recognize those things fully. I’m not complaining really, I guess I’m just disappointed in myself for having the audacity to dream so large that I was inevitably setting myself up for a shortcoming. So the point of the lesson is when a teacher tells children that they can become anything they want to become, she’s only telling half of the story (a common theme I’ve run into in EVERYTHING lately, half truths are the norm). Now for all you feminists out there, the only reason the “teacher” in my little side note was female is because most all of my early teachers WERE female and I got into the habit of saying “she” when talking about it. I have a lot more to say, but I am running out of time so I’ll post again later so you all can listen to me bellyache some more (as though there is anyone left who actually reads my stupid blog).

Scrabble Words

2008-08-22T19:51:00.000-07:00

Dictionary:
Baleoduckiquido (noun); meaning I WIN THE GAME... BIATCH!!

The Smithing of Guns

2008-08-04T09:06:00.000-07:00

Well I have officially started the final stage of my 220 Swift a la 6.5x55 Swedish Mauser con Remington 700,

fully floated and pillar bedded weapon creation initiative. Basically, I finally have gathered all the components I'll need to finish the project and get things ready to fire. The final piece of the puzzle was the Remington 700 action (aka receiver) which I will be robbing from an old school Remington .270 from a local Pawn Shop. It came with a cheap Simmons 3-9x40 scope that will most likely end up on my SKS or one of my Ruger 1022's. Anyway, I've attached a couple of pictures before and after the deconstruction of the donor rifle. Next on the Agenda is to contact a Gunsmith friend of mine who has a barrel vise to break the old barrel free. Remington uses a thread locker which breaks down at temperatures above 250 F, so I've cooked the barreled action assembly at 400 F for 30 minutes to break it down. I have already bead blasted both replacement barrels (the 220 Swift and the 6.5x55 Swedish Mauser) and had them blued to match each other and give a matte finish. I have a synthetic stock which I’ve already cut out for 1/16” clearance around both barrels (fortunately both have about the same taper characteristics to them). Basically I’m ready to go as soon as I get the action freed up. I’ll post soon with more updates.

2008-05-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

Yea yea, it’s been a while but F%&* YOU! So I’m afraid I’ve been thinking, a dangerous past time I know. With all the reports of how much information is available in the world and the frequency with which it doubles is accelerating, I can’t help but ponder how it used to be. 100 years ago, which is only 3 generations for those outside of Utah and is about 10 generations for those within Utah, it was relatively easy to know what you needed to know to be successful in your life by the end of High School or even Jr. High. The 20^th century saw some HUGE advances in science and technology which are only recently making their way into our schools for use by younger crowds. This massive leap in technology and education has imposed a gap between generations like never before. “Old” people (more precisely those about 50 and higher) tend to resist the new technology as un-trustable, unstable or they come out and just admit that they don’t want to make the effort to learn anything about it. Basically they are resisting change and unfortunately this complacent attitude has spilled into other aspects of their lives. For instance, racism is something I do not endorse, condone or even tolerate. I see absolutely no basis for it and anyone showing even the most remote manifestation of it becomes instantly ignorant and dangerous in my mind. Yet, I have grandparents and great grandparents who show (or had shown before they died) undeniable signs of being at least somewhat racist in their actions and speech. Things like this drive a wedge into relationships which had the potential to bridge generations. I would like to think that racism was a thing of the past and that those who genuinely practice it are old and decrepit individuals who were raised in the days when it was acceptable. This was upset the other day when I was listening to people interviewed after the Virginia Democratic Primary vote and heard a woman who I would guess was in her 30’s say “you know I dint vote fer no culerd” (attempt to replicate the accent). This was the only comment that really stuck in my mind from the several they had and has left me somewhat hostile toward the entire state. I should be able to accept that other people have differing views about things, but in something so divisive I feel they have no basis or right to believe such things. Instead I find myself pitying them and can’t help but wonder why they are unable to change their minds. Indeed, changing your mind about something so engrained into you can be a massive challenge, particularly when you have little or no support from friends or family while doing so. Instances of this are more frequent than I think most of us would realize, and the reason we hear so little about them is that the individual attempting to make massive a change feels so outnumbered and intimidated that they are likely to keep it to themselves, often times not even telling their spouse. Meanwhile, the individual begins to see others as ignorant or complacent in their dated beliefs and wonder why they haven’t begun to question things which they should see as glaringly obvious. It seems that the social environments we find ourselves in render us somewhat blind to outside influences. This sad condition of the human experience is part of what has me so frightened and pessimistic about our future in terms of education, politics, religion, international relations, and practically all other aspects of life. What can be done? I have only partial and poorly thought out solutions, but what difference does it make? I am in no position for ANYONE to listen to anything I have to say. I have found no groups or organizations that support my opinions ([sarcasm] which is REALLY handy when election day comes [/sarcasm]) so I can’t join a group of peers or even donate to their cause. Therefore, there is little I can do to change the situation, which leaves me angry and spiteful. Perhaps the best solution is to leave the country in favor of a more accommodating climate, but that only solves a few of the problems. What I feel needs to happen is a comprehensive and systematic alteration and streamlining of all 3 branches of the federal government, our educational systems, our tax laws, our state governments, and all other bloated and inefficient bureaucratic systems we see around us. I think one of the first things that should happen is changing the first two grades, 7^th grade and 10^th grade to more heavily emphasize HOW to think and learn, not WHAT to think and learn. But I suppose before anything like this would actually go into effect there would need to be a general consensus among the public and school officials, something which is apparently implausible. It seems ignorance is a self replicating virus infecting our young and poisoning their minds to ensure its survival in later generations. And all this at a time when I’ve just brought my first child into the world and am celebrating the first birthday that means absolutely nothing to me. Happy Day…

Rise of Nations!

2008-01-21T12:33:00.000-08:00

Another day, another installment of the crazy wacky life of yours truly. As many of you have already heard, Last Sunday, January 13^th, I finally got my cow elk. And what a hunt it was. We kept playing around down in the lower stuff hoping that all the snow we’ve received would drive them down out of the really steep hills they know and love, but sadly this did not happen. or rather the one time it did happen, we were just a bit too late and some other dude got in there before us and killed one. This spooked the entire herd back up into the nasties. So in the end we gained about 1300 feet of vertical altitude before even getting my 438 yard shot, and then an additional 350 feet upward to get to her. Then the fun started. We were in some of the steepest terrain I’ve been to in a long time, and dragging an elk out in 2.5 feet of snow was a bit of a challenge. We ended up coming out of a wash canyon which had entertained a flood a few years prior, and so there were numerous parts which required lowering the animal down on ropes before we descended the 15 foot cliffs ourselves. The whole time we were headed out I kept wishing we had a camera with us. I would like to go up and get the pictures but…… uh no. As you can imagine, school has kept me pretty busy. The Nikkinator is about 3.5 weeks from her due date and reality is starting to kick me in the groin. Against my will, we have been looking into names and all the creepy things associated with having a baby. The anti-nursery is looking less and less anti every day and contains more shades of pink than I knew existed. The days of me sitting in the rocker in the anti-nursery dressed in camo with my spotting scope rested on the changing table watching the hills for large animals are now over. All too soon our house will smell of diapers, baby wipes, and a number of other smells I can’t say I enjoy. As we have been moving all this stuff in and arranging it I have noticed one thing. All the baby crap I have seen thus far contains pictures of babies which creep me out! They are far too… infantile! I expect them all to jump off the box and form ranks to advance on my position. I’d have to call Nikki and the dogs in as backup. I’m sure I could take out a number of them but we have a LOT of boxes. Also each box has to be politically correct so you’d have equal numbers of white, black, latino and asian children all of which would surely employ unique tactics. They’d be able to bolster their ranks by using the terrifying drawings that children (even fake ones from boxes) all draw. Horrific scribble children with claws (or maybe they just have purple hair, I don’t know) would organize masterful tactics of warfare involving D.O.R.A. the Explorer (Department of Observational Reconnaissance and Assessment) and Bob the Builder (the code name for their top secret engineering corps). In the end I’m afraid the house would fall to the enemy and I’d die in a last ditch effort to take out their chain of command. Since they can’t reach the cupboards and don’t have jobs, they’d have to cannibalize my corpse in the way that only overly cute children can. They’d make primitive weapons from my dried (and might I add spectacularly sturdy) bones and as the food supply continued to dwindle the tribal bonds that held them together in the early days would strain and begin to break. At first there would be just a few rebellious outcasts, but soon the resistance would grow. The rebels would seek refuge in the basement while the fascist hierarchy of governmental oppression took hold of the main floor. The Proper’s (the name of the children which were originally from the box and who had formed the Proper’s Fascist State) would attempt an assassination of the rebel leaders (most of which are comprised of the oppressed scribble children called Scrib’s) to quell the violent resistance. It would nearly succeed, but at the last second an inside informant would tip off the Scrib’s. This would cause a huge upset and force the start of the revolution. By this time the Scrib’s would have discovered my weapons cache in the basement, a whole ream of printer paper and the technological marvel that is the internet. Using these advanced tools of destruction, they’d print out images of the most horrible children one can find on the internet. These Super Scrib’s would be pivotal in the days to come as the Proper’s had discovered a stockpile of power tools and explosive chemicals in the garage and were also busy arming for the inevitable war. With the attempted assassination of their leader as the opening shot, the Scrib’s would officially declare war on the Proper’s. The war would open with a spectacular fight scene on the stairs, in which 40-50% of either side would perish. While falling back to rearm, the Scrib’s would lull the Proper’s into a false sense of retreat in which the Proper’s would advance to overcome their absolute enemy. As they advanced toward the Scrib’s stronghold in the office, D.O.R.A. would send erratic reports of well orchestrated attacks on the rear of the advancing force. An overwhelming force of Super Scrib’s would emerge from the theater and begin tearing through the now surrounded Proper’s. In a last ditch effort, General Tinky Winky Tacticus would order leftenant Big Bird to call in the “Fire”. With reluctant anxiety, the order would be given to firebomb the basement. With tears running out of their inky little faces, the Proper’s and the Scrib’s would all perish in flame. The fire would quickly spread through the whole house eliminating all evidence that either society had ever existed. Only a few insects would survive the ordeal and would later organize the stories into texts depicting the evil and prejudice with which they killed each other and themselves. These teachings of peace and acceptance would sweep through the insect world, causing ticks to undergo physical checkups to endure there are no contagious diseases before attaching themselves to a willing donor. It would implore bacteria to adhere to maximum division quota’s to avoid overpopulation and subsequent illness or death of the host body. In the end it would all amount to naught because before the word could spread more than a city block, all enlightened insects would succumb to the pesticides I sprayed around my basement or they would be eaten by birds. The moral of the story is… uh… wow I don’t even know. Uh… OH YEA, babies are evil!

Since you were all so persuasive

2007-11-30T13:27:00.000-08:00

Very well, the time has come. It’s Bloggin’ time! Let’s see. The Nikkinator is… well pregnant of course. School is wrapping up and will soon be finished, LAN parties will have to take place, and Christmas will be punching us all in the tender spots. Having finished all my Christmas shopping already and avoiding human contact as much as possible, I feel I am prepared to tolerate the season. One thing that we usually do every year is buy a tree permit and go cut down our own. In the process we end up having a great time, get some good exercise, see some beautiful country and come home with a tree that usually about 4 feet too tall for even the largest part of our house and a bunch of stories. Basically it’s a lot of fun and had become a tradition. This year, however, our little tradition will have to spend some time in the toilet because my little soldiers have marched to and conquered Berlin if you know what I mean. Some of you might be asking why it is that a pregnant woman can’t participate in getting a Christmas tree. Obviously you’ve never seen or heard about the crap we go through in order to get said tree. Here are a few examples: Last year we had to rent snow shoes because there was about 4 feet of snow. Not only that, but we had to travel over 3 miles round trip to get into the area I wanted to be in. I then had to drag this huge tree through the snow. By the end of that trip I was more tired and exhausted than I have ever been before in my life. One year I got my truck stuck WAY out in the middle of nowhere and had to spend 5 hours digging out with the help of about 15 snowmobilers. Basically it’s not a great idea to have a pregnant woman around me when I’m going into the wilderness because the odds of her survival drop a bit. Anyway, we’re going to have to buy a tree from a lot this year. You know what bugs me? I have a really nice pair of dress shoes (and that just pisses me off!). No really, they were the most expensive pair of shoes I’ve ever bought and they look very nice. When I bought them I asked the guy about any kind of repairs if something went wrong or whatever and he said that all Floresheim shoes come with a craftsmanship warrantee. Well about 9 months after I bought them, the store went out of business which means that their warrantee vanished like a fart in the wind. This doesn’t make me too upset because the shoes have worn well with one exception. They squeak. I don’t mean they make a tiny little leather movement squeak either, I mean I sound like GIR from Invader Zim when I walk. What’s worse is that I usually only wear them when I am trying to look sharp because I want these shoes to last me a long time based on the price. This means that I have to avoid giggling while I walk my way down to say a Job interview or through church (where I try to look angry so people don’t talk to me). It’s not easy looking angry on the outside while quotes from everyone’s favorite “advanced” little robot minion rocket through my head. Come to think of it, shoes just suck. If it weren’t for winter I’d say to hell with it and just go around barefoot all the time like a freakishly large and well spoken hobbit. I have the hardest time finding shoes that will fit my feet! And it can get expensive when you have to special order shoes because the only ones they have in your size are two pair of loafers which look as though they are the taxedermified product of an illegitimate relationship between an Ewok and a manual transmission. But what can you do? In the end I need shoes, women are still evil and manipulative (although it can work for you in certain VERY RARE situations), and I’m still going to hell. Life goes on!

Lucas Arts meets BBC

2007-10-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, but there really hasn’t been much of note. I bought another gun since my last post (a Glock model 20 in 10mm Auto) and the Nikkinator finally got her fabled Bedroom set of glorious cherry wood doom. Other than that, it’s been work and school. For only taking 11.5 Credit hours, I seem to be inundated with homework and have very little free time (more so than in the past when I have taken more credit hours). I guess it may stem from the types of classes I am taking. Um… the deer hunt opens this coming weekend so I’ll be participating in that and hoping I don’t get shot by some hunter wannabe amateur toting his dad’s 30-06 and some brand new Real-Tree camouflage with scent locker. The Nikkinator is doing just fine packing around the Neonate and we have acquired an anti-nursery full of unwanted baby hardware that is making our house stink like babies do (since some of it was used). I don’t mean the dirty diaper kind of stink, the only thing I can link it to is the smell of baby formula…. our house smells like baby formula. It’s not surprising that everything smells like that since I estimate that about 37.4% of all food and liquids which go down an infant’s throat will be making a round trip and end up spattered all over what ever is nearest. I’m not the only one who thinks this stuff smells funny. The girls have been interrogating each piece of equipment with their amazing olfactory powers of deduction in an effort to identify who these mysterious juice emitting people are and if they’ll be coming anywhere near our house. Besides acting as a staging area for all the curious doodads associated with Neonate generation, the Anti-Nursery is also now home to our best “Death” yet. I even equipped him with a scythe. This year he looks even more 3D, stands at about 7 feet tall, has no discernable facial features, and watches our front walkway. If I had though ahead I would have taken a picture to post here, but since I am an idiot there is no such picture…. yet. I am getting excited for Halloween and though my costume is somewhat situational and humorous, it lacks the wang of last years Half-Life 2 Zombie costume. I had thought of trying to come up with some kind of a hazard suit and some thick black square framed glasses and go as Gordon Freeman, but figured I’d played that card enough. I am trying to prepare myself for the dreadful holiday season, and am proud to say that I am done with buying presents for the Nikkinator. This means that I don’t have to contend with any hordes of Christmas shoppers, and can go duck hunting instead. Last year, I actually enjoyed the Holiday season for the first time in ages due largely to the Nikkinator’s efforts and some early/online shopping. Also, the Christmas related events were kept to a minimum which helped to elevate my mood. If you’re reading this and thinking to yourself “Does he not like Christmas?” the answer is YES, I DON’T LIKE CHRISTMAS! But enough of that. After much waiting and arm twisting (to the point of breaking it off and beating someone upside the head with it) I FINALLY have the pieces I need to start my experiments at work. While I can’t give any details, take comfort in the fact that I get to play with Liquid Nitrogen as part of this experiment so you know it’s cool (HA!!). Anyway, I can’t come up with anything else that has happened recently so I’ll bid thee an ass for thine cart, an opposing hand for thine high fivings, and an fuel tank which doth continuously show “F” (which means Full, not Freaking Buy Some Petrol You Cheap @$$). Tschuβ!

In other news...

2007-09-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven’t heard, this month I have achieved two main things that have been on my list for quite some time. After months of waiting, my concealed weapons license finally came through. Of course, what good is a license to carry a weapon if you don’t have a weapon small enough to carry? None at all that’s what and for that reason I had been planning on purchasing one for a while now. All the research I had done finally paid off and I purchased my very own Glock model 27 subcompact .40 S&W with Night sights (I’m sure you all know exactly what I’m talking about, but let me have my moment).

Along with the gun I also bought a grip extension and am waiting for my conceal carry holsters to arrive. Now If only I could find the time to get out and shoot it a bit I’d be golden. Many of you are probably asking yourselves if it’s really necessary to go to all the effort and expense for something that I’ll probably never actually need to use. To that I respond, that I hope you’re absolutely right and I never have to use it for self defense. However, in light of recent events around the country, here in Utah, and even at UVSC where I go to school, I have arrived at the conclusion that I do not feel safe at school nor do I feel that the faculty and administration are capable of protecting students like me in the event of the unspeakable. Therefore I will legally take my personal protection into my own hands and hope that I never have to exercise it. Anyway, on to other news. This coming Friday September 28^th the Nikkinator and I will find out what gender the growth in her stomach is and can begin forfeiting our hard earned earth monies on clothes which will last the Neonate for a month or two. At any rate there is a post on the forum for you all to interject your speculations on what yon gender will be.

I wanted to be... a LUMBERJACK!

2007-09-04T10:14:00.000-07:00

Can I just say that I am glad it’s Tuesday and I can be back at work? Yes you’ve read that statement correctly, I am glad that the week can resume as normal and that Labor Day weekend is over. Here is why. Last Friday I discovered that I had already completed the homework that would be required over the weekend and had a rare opportunity to actually do something productive that was not related to school. So the Nikkinator and I comprised a small list of some things that have needed to be done for a while now. Mostly it was some basic maintenance on the cars and my truck and a few things around the house. Of coarse the list grew as time went on like most “To Do” generally do, but still it wasn’t that bad. Nevertheless, the weekend went a little something like this: Saturday morning we slept in a bit and got up around 9:30 or so. Had a small breakfast and then got started on the list. First thing was to run to the parts store and get the filters and such that I’d need. After getting back home, I realized that I was missing a special socket required for disassembling my front axle and that we needed to make a trip up to my dad’s garage to get it. Since we were going to be up there anyway, we decided to stop at DI and get some maternity clothes for the Nikkinator since her other clothes are getting a bit uncomfortable. By the way, I never realized how many high school and college kids shop at DI now. It’s almost become its own brand which is more “vintage” than “second hand”. Anyway, after our little shopping spree we decided it was too hot outside and got a shake at JCW’s since we were right there and then it was time to go home and get started on that list of stuff to do. By the time we got home it was about 2pm and it was quite warm outside. I started working on my truck and sucking down ice water like it was… some kind of sucking vacuum fodder… that really gets sucked down a lot. I don’t know if any of y’all have ever worked with heavy duty 4 wheel drive equipment (such as large axles, large tires, large bugs, etc) but it’s all very heavy and hard work. So I was nearing completion of all the things I needed to do when I started to get a headache. Not only did I get the headache but also I was shaking and felt like I would pass out at any time. It was at this point that I realized I hadn’t eaten anything substantial since 10am and it was now 6pm. So the Nikkinator was kind enough to throw together some dinner and after about 45 minutes of lying on the floor I felt much better. I went back outside and finished working on my truck and called it good. All this time we’ve had plans to make Salsa because of the number of ripe tomatoes sitting on our counter. So we spent most of the rest of the night making Salsa and decided to wait until tomorrow to bottle it since it was like 10pm by the time we finished. Finally, it was time for bed and it was hot… suspiciously hot. In fact it was hot enough that we turned the AC down quite a bit so that we could get to sleep. It didn’t work. The “AC” ran all night long and didn’t change the temperature one bit. The reason for this is that our AC compressor seems to have gone on vacation and left its seemingly useless corpse behind. THIS is great news, especially since the Home Warrantee that we purchased with our home just barely expired and this was one of the things specifically covered under it. So throughout the remainder of this story, keep in mind that the inside of our house is no more than 5 degrees cooler than the outside temperature because all of our windows are open. Anywho, Sunday crops up and church beckons. Not just any church, but of coarse my favorite of all, Fast Sunday Testimony Meeting. Not only that, but I spent the majority of it alone since the Nikkinator was in the library coaching one of the 65 year old techno geniuses who was trying to figure out how to get a DVD player to work. I’ll spare you the details, but soon church was over and I was ready to go home. Fortunately, we don’t have choir practice on the first Sunday of the month so I could get a start on the things I wasn’t able to finish the day before. It started with lunch, I’ll tell you that right now. Yup, a big fast breaking lunch. The Nikkinator had been munching on some delicious smelling sourdough, because pregnant people aren’t supposed to fast I guess (At least that was her excuse. I think if that’s the case it should apply to husbands too.), and it was killing me. With lunch out of the way, it was time to bottle our Salsa and some peaches we discovered on our tree when I was troubleshooting the AC problem. It went well and you’ll all be content to hear that we successfully bottled all but one of our jars. See, one of the smaller jars must have had a crack in it because when it got hot it kind of exploded in a tomato-ey hot watery mess. But anyway, after our freshly bottled stuff was cooling it was on to change the oil in the car, which went fairly smoothly and was over soon. I had hoped to do another chapter of Biology, but by the time everything was finished it was almost bed time and I felt I had earned a little lazy time… which I used to play a bit of Half Life 2. Another hot night went by and it was back “up and at them” (he he, Simpson’s references). Monday’s plans consisted primarily of helping Jamie move to her apartment in Salt Lake so we loaded up the bed we’d been holding for her and headed off. Before too long we were at her new place and struggling to find a parking space large enough so squeeze my truck into. We found one, but I was poking half way out because the covered parking awning wasn’t tall enough to clear the top of my cab. Of course, her apartment is on the third floor, so the unloading took a little bit and… well let’s just say I’m glad I put on plenty of deodorant. After unloading the bed and assembling it, Jamie offered to buy us lunch for our efforts. She took us to Buca di Beppo, which is apparently a nice fancy Italian restaurant. Before I get started I’d like it to be known that my opinion of a place has absolutely no reflection of my gratitude for the person who offered to buy me lunch at said place. I’ll try to keep my review of this Italian restaurant brief because I have already wasted enough of your time. The Gnocci gets about a 7/10 and was pretty good. The Chicken with Lemon (which apparently changes between the lunch and dinner menu by several critical dimensions and ingredients, and in a way which is inverse of what you’d instinctively assume) gets about a 5/10 due to the disappointing portion size, cost which rivals some major divorce proceedings, and is somewhat made up by its acceptable (not great) flavor. The Cheesy Garlic Bread was just that, bread with huge amounts of Garlic and cheese. I was the only person capable of eating more than one piece and that was after the others had scraped off all of the garlic slices (and they had somehow ended up on my pieces). The soda… was soda. The waiter seemed to be stoned, though he didn’t have any of the obvious symptoms (red eyes, distinct smell, munchies, etc). I give the entire restaurant a 6/10. Anyway, after lunch we headed back down toward home and decided that, since we had the truck and were up on this end of town anyway, we’d stop by Scott’s mothers place and pick up a Washer and Dryer she had so graciously decided to donate to our cause. After forcing my pregnant wife to do all the heavy lifting (some of which took a whip to get her to complete the task) we were loaded up and on our way home (after another stop at JCW’s for a Banana Split because it was far to hot and is in no way connected to the conceived status of my wife *wink*). After we got home, I decided that we’d put up with our old washer and dryer for long enough and that I should try to get these “new” ones installed before the end of the night. No big problem, it was barely 3pm and it should be fairly straight forward as it’s something I’ve done many times before. Of course, any statement which contains even a hint of optimism is sure to be followed by something humorous or tragic (maybe both). The Dryer needed a bit of work. The ducting was missing a part and, as is standard, it didn’t have an electric plug attached to it (this is because every year they seem to change the shape of the standard 220v plug so Dryer manufacturers gave up attempting to guess at what it’d be this year and left little details like that up to the consumer). I just robbed the duct work and the plug off of our old dryer and then cleaned it up a bit and it was ready to be installed. So we pack it in the house and plug it in. Moment of truth… and nothing. So I unplug it and open the back panel to inspect the electrical connections. With 220v if nothing happens something is defiantly disconnected because if it’s connected wrong it’ll start smoking and usually burst into flames (and I have at least some confidence in myself). Sure enough I found two wired which had either been unplugged for whatever reason or had just rattled loose in transport. So I connected them back up, plugged it in and… still nothing. As stated before, “nothing” is odd. So I unplug it again and pull apart the control assembly and find the problem. It appears that a mouse had once upon a time been the unfortunate benefactor of a rodent dare to see what would happen if you use your body to bridge the gap between two high voltage connections. It was not pretty. Furthermore, the short circuit had heated up a relay so much that it had melted the solder which attached it to the PC board and blown it out of the socket, effectively destroying the relay. After a little cleanup work, the relay was the only real problem. A quick search online, I realized that the only way I was going to get one of these relays was to buy from a manufacturer who has a minimum order of $250 (so not cool). So I looked for a used PC board assembly and found that the cheapest I could find one was $256 and was at least a week out (again, so not cool). So despite what my prior experience with melted relays was telling me, I decided to try and rebuild it. Soon our kitchen table looks like Dr. Frankenstein’s laboratory and I’m diving in for major surgery. After about an hour of soldering, rewiring, gluing and testing it appears that the relay just might be working. So I solder the relay back into the PC board and decide that I’ll be damned if our house isn’t going to be filled with smoke caused by an electrical fire this evening. After patching enough of the Dryer back together that it’ll work, I plugged it back in… nothing. I cautiously stand up and reach for the control panel and push the on button and the display actually lights up. I decided I hadn’t pushed my luck quite far enough yet and went ahead and started the dryer. IT ACTUALLY WORKED! At this point I am dancing around the house calling myself the master of electronic repair and demanding that the Nikkinator bow to my excellence (she didn’t in case you were wondering, she just kind of gave me one of those hopeless stares). So after about ten minutes of self praise, I put the Dryer back together and we turn it on again to make sure that it’ll work for more than about half of a second (which is all I dared to leave it on with everything pulled apart). Sure enough, it works great. Now it’s time for the washer. We bring it in and connect it up, almost cringing at the thought of what might happen next. It worked the first time. YAY! We now have a washer and dryer that both work and I didn’t even start any fires! At that point it was time for bed after a little straightening up and putting away all my tools. It was hot last night too, but I slept well knowing that I had snatched the soul of a dryer out of the clutches of silicon hell (because if there is a silicon heaven, then there surely must be a silicon hell and since this dryer had given up the ghost before its time it couldn’t have made it to heaven). So there you have it, the reason I am glad to be back to my regular cushy desk job after a “holiday” weekend.

If you need a job done right.....

2007-08-22T14:07:00.000-07:00

You know what they say about having a job done correctly means you must do it yourself. Well, lately I have had that small bit of wisdom forced up my nose and whirred around in my brain a few times to make sure it sticks. As many of you have probably gathered, I take pride in doing almost every bit of mechanic work myself for a number of reasons involving cost, timetable, quality of work and trust. Basically, I don't trust anyone around my vehicles. I'm sure you all know, my truck was painted recently. What you may not know is that I was quite unhappy with the quality of work. I have a fair amount of experience with auto paint and had originally planned to paint the truck myself, but a 1/2 off sale caught my attention at the right time. The pain on my truck had streaks, was horribly thin and basically a piss poor job all around. Believing that the store employees, managers and owners would just give me hassle about their lack of ability, I wrote a rather angry and displeased review to their corporate office. I was surprised to receive a call back from them, and then from the owner of the Maaco that painted the truck. They were very willing to take a look at the truck and see if it was as bad as I had described it to be. It was, and they agreed to repaint the truck for free. That was a little while ago, and for a number of reasons I had to wait until a more convenient time to be without my truck for a week. Then, last weekend I dropped the truck off to be painted. Despite my very specific instructions that there are two switches which MUST be on any time the vehicle is running, one of the “Lowest Common Denominators” (my pet name for the people who lay at the heart of most of society’s problems) tried to move the truck out of the building. The engine I built for that truck has a high performance electric fuel pump with a master kill switch inside the cab incase of a fire. If that switch is not on, you have about 30 seconds of run time before the fuel runs out. Needless to say, he didn’t get where he was going and couldn’t get it started. Rather than read the work order and see the instructions, he decided that there was something wrong with the truck and locked it. I never provided them with a door key, so they were now locked out of the truck and couldn’t move it inside their gated area for storage overnight. This particular Maaco is in an industrial area in south Provo near the mall. Leaving a vehicle outside in such a dark and deserted place is not a good idea. Sometime during the night, a rock arced gently through my passenger side window and my stereo decided to seek its fortunes elsewhere (can we say freaking cliché!?). I had planned on picking up the truck in the morning, but received a call before I left informing me about the vandalism. Despite the large empty space in the dash board, the missing stereo was somehow overlooked. They paid for a replacement window and I picked up the truck on Monday, which is when I noticed the missing stereo. Rather than request that Maaco also replace the stereo, I just resolved to install an extra we have laying around since the Subaru died. I have filed a police report, but I have little faith in any law enforcement (excepting their capacity for consuming pastries) and will never see anything from it. I blame incompetence for this whole situation. Incompetence in not doing the job right the first time, incompetence for failing to follow simple instructions before and after a problem arose, incompetence from an individual assuming that my old radio is even worth anything in the first place, the incompetence of the Provo City Police Department who will never do anything about it, and incompetence on my own part for subjecting myself to the incompetence of others. I have another story about relying on other people and how it’s a short path to frustration and destruction, but I can’t tell any details due to the sensitive nature of the information. Suffice it to say that here at work I had entrusted a simple yet very important task to an individual who swore to me it would get done. The process in question takes several days to complete. Regardless of my constant checking in and asking for updates, nothing actually got done. In the end, a week went by and I had to do the thing myself, and then explain to my boss why it will be taking twice as long as it should have. I can think of several more examples of why I don’t like working with other people, but will spare you the details. I will leave you with this video link in closing and ask you for vigilance anytime you have to rely on someone you don’t know. Toodles!

http://mfile.akamai.com/12924/wmv/vod.ibsys.com/2006/0503/9152183.200k.asx

Go to Hell world!

2007-07-13T10:20:00.001-07:00

Alright, you all asked for it. With a unanimous vote of 7 to 0, you all have subjected yourselves to my incoherent ramblings which I have deemed unfit for public display. Thus I issue my first entry. I have modified it slightly to be more fluid and all around more palatable, but it maintains the original intent. I present to you a rant Inspired by the observation of Dr. Martin Luther King day accompanied by a number of other annoyances. Enjoy!

In observance of Dr. Martin Luther Kind day I’d like to issue a statement. Having heard numerous accounts of people on several sides of various issues surrounding human rights throughout history, I have fulfilled my obligation as a critical listener. I have formed an opinion of my own based on the experiences I’ve had and the things I’ve been exposed to. History has been recorded by the winners of wars throughout our past as a species. Starting with etchings on cave walls and leather skins, we have recorded “our” history for future generations. Generations who we assume will inherit our sense of what the world is all about and come to appreciate things in the same way we do. It’s this naïve expectation which often separates generations and causes dissention among offspring and offspringers (I declare that this is now a word). We are indeed in a unique situation in that no other species (that we know of) faces these specific challenges. You don’t see goldfish rebelling with a rainbow afro, bellbottom fins and white powder under its… well gills I suppose. Nonetheless, these are the challenges we face. And we deal with it in the standard human response of pointing the finger at someone else. We’ve become experts at placing blame on creative scapegoats. So what are we doing to change this? This is where we fall back on another human past time of just not caring and thus doing nothing. We only see our side of things, feel that anyone who opposes our ideals is wrong and they are the ones in error. I find it ironic that English officials, whose past is clouded with the horrors of a thousand wars and the infamous tower of London, are making statements about Iraqi executions needing to be carried out with “more dignity”. What is civilized? What is modern? What is right? If the people of “old world” countries wish to remain in the Stone Age, who are we to prevent them from doing that? If they wish to kill, maim and destroy everything their ancestors have built, who are we to stop them? If they want to kill us, burn our country to the ground, purify a new world race under one banner claiming to act and live in the name of God, why should we stop them? What difference does it make? If you believe in a higher being, you are prompted to believe that there is a life after death and you shall be punished for the things you did wrong, rewarded for the things you did right, and know the face of your Deity. If you do not believe in a higher being, you are led to understand that we are beings of flesh, bone, and biological processes simply wandering around a curiously habitable planet with no hope of doing anything worth note. Either way this world will end in a spectacular manner. In my lifetime, we shall not know world peace because we can hardly even imagine it (although numerous gadgets on Star Trek are imaginable and have since come to pass). In my lifetime we shall not know justice because no one is able to even agree on what justice is (let alone trying to accomplish it). In my lifetime we take steps forward and backward at the same time. In my lifetime science explains our world to an amazing degree of accuracy, yet is still looked upon with suspicion. In my lifetime we can’t handle the truth, because it doesn’t agree with what we think we know. In my lifetime, men lie because they can and no one will stop them. In my lifetime no one knows who they are or what they are doing; we merely follow what we’ve been taught to do by others who had no idea what they were doing. In my lifetime good men are not found because they no longer exist. In my lifetime we are confused (though this is hardly a new development). In my lifetime Royalty is nothing of note, whereas wealth is all we seem to care about. In my lifetime falsity is honorable as long as the ends justify the means. In my lifetime everything is tracked and recorded, but never utilized. In my lifetime the only things worth seeking are impossible to find. In my lifetime normal is unusual and bizarre. In my lifetime hatred equals love because of someone else’s opinion of how the world works. In my lifetime everything you ever wanted is exactly what you should never get. In my lifetime you should never meet your hero’s. In my lifetime one has two faces (or more). In my lifetime justice is blind, def, dumb, autistic, political, time sensitive, contingent, expensive, impersonal, theoretical, inconsistent, arrogant, . I fear bringing children into this world. I fear life almost as much as I fear death. In know enough to realize that I truly don’t understand much. I feel man, as a race, has no good left in him, only greed (which, don’t get me wrong, has brought us a long way). He uses anyone’s property and anyone’s name to meet his own ends. Man is becoming an interstellar parasite with all the charm and subtlety of a massive nuclear maggot! That having been said, I officially declare myself no longer a member of this species (if only). I now belong to the race of the Quagaar. Just call me a warrior rotisserie chicken! (Then again, this is only MY opinion.)

The bardish flaming trip of DOOM!

2007-07-10T14:33:00.000-07:00

Well we survived our Cedar City trip to the Shakespearian Festival, despite all the flames. I would be inclined to recite a chronological history of events, but most likely the only ones who will end up reading this were on that trip. Suffice it to say that we had a lot of fun. In place of my boring words I’ll provide a link to the photos:

http://forum.yoshisisland.net/viewtopic.php?t=273

As you can see, flaming surroundings was a bit of a theme (right down to the gayish manner of the dancers at the festival). Also, the Mexican food cocktails were great! Of course, as with every road trip, there were a number of crazy inside jokes that came about. Many of them were induced by lack of caffeine and/or lack of good sleep, combined with the volatile mixture of friends. Here’s a sample:

* The Jumbo-Large nature of my water bottle

* The fact that we stayed at the Knights Inn (*insert Alf laugh here* HA! ‘cuz it’s knights at the Shakespearian Festival, and that’s where we slept at night! OH MAN!!)

* Cedar Cities remarkably long… Ford

* Whoa, that’s good BLOW!

* The horrible realization that we were all vulnerable to Midnight Junking

* Oprah’s Va-Jay-Jay (Gah, Jibblies!)

Also of note were:

* The scientist at the M&M factory who quite obviously hated his job.

* Heather making baby Jesus cry by gambling her innocence away (BETTING WHORE)

* Me waving at all the truckers we passed with my toes while I was in the back of the car

* Apparently drafting WILL drastically improve gas mileage

* Captain Spock’s falling in love and making out with a chick

* And it turns out that Chris, Justin, Mandy, and Miranda don’t like being awakened by a body being repeatedly hurled into their hotel room door!

All in all it was a great trip. Feel free to add anything I may have overlooked or wasn’t present for.

Ouroboros

2007-06-20T12:09:00.001-07:00

Well kids, it’s time for me to introduce the latest addition to the EXTREME sport family. I know you’ve all been anxiously awaiting this new form of adrenaline squirting, pulsing pounding, make you scream ‘til you pass out activity. This shall prove to be the most dangerous, most trying, most nerve racking EXTREME sport yet! I think I’ll call it EXTREME Baby Making! Yes that’s right folks, and the fun doesn’t stop there, no sir! It’s immediately followed by EXTREME Gestation (also known as EXTREME Trimesters) and then on to the grand finale’ EXTREME Delivery! This sport is by far the most EXTREME ever devised, as it takes 9 whole months to finish!! 9 MONTHS! In fact it is so EXTREME that it’ll take around 18 years for the side effects to wear off. These side effects may include but are by no means limited to: Nausea, heart burn, back pain, loss of sleep, morning sickness, frequent urination, strange cravings, weight gain, accumulation of really small outfits, loss of voice, frequent physician visitation, cessation of menstrual cycle, breast tenderness, shouting, insurance premium increases, random and violent mood changes, more loss of sleep, people you don’t know thinking it’s ok to touch your stomach, large amounts of cervical leakage, intense abdominal pain, even more intense abdominal pain, abdominal pain so intense you feel you may in fact die and take the person responsible for putting you in this state with you, sounds similar to that of small wounded animals, depression, frequent foul smells, even more loss of sleep, acquisition of strange furniture, broken or missing household items, electrocution, severe headaches, sense of regret, severe burns, short people invading your home, unexpected trips to the hospital, flood, loss of vocabulary, loss of privacy, and many other unpredictable and unexpected results.

Some of you may wonder what has prompted this outburst of sorts. Well it’s funny you should ask. As if the relationship between the Nikkinator and I didn’t contain enough foreshadowing and almost cliché like circumstances, there’s another to add to the heap. Of all days of the year, I find out on Fathers day that the Nikkinator is now a +1 Nikkinator (did she level somehow?). It all started a long time ago when God said “look, yonder is matter unorganized…” and the rest is history. It was kind of planned and kind of unplanned, but it is for sure now. Yesterday (Tuesday) we verified it with a clinical test and we’re about 5.5 weeks along (can you say “Made in Mexico”?). We’re still not sure how we feel about it, but we’ve got less than 8 months before we’ve got to be ready. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to cry myself to sleep under my desk.

Adventuros Mexicanos

2007-05-23T11:35:00.000-07:00

Well we’re back! Sadly, I didn’t observe one burrito while we were there, frolicking or otherwise. There were, however, a large number of tacos, mountains of rice and gallons of beans. All in all, the trip was great. We had some adventures, we laughed, we cried, we fell in love, and in the end we left. For those interested I’ll give you a chronological rundown of the major events. Wednesday we spent half the day flying and traveling to the hotel. Once checked in we spent the remainder of the day just absorbing the atmosphere. Thursday we gathered info on the activities we wanted to do while we were there, went swimming a bunch and ate a lot of food. Friday we spent a bit more time gathering info and took the bus into downtown Cancun to check out some flea markets (Does anyone know why they’re called that? Do I need to get some special shampoo now?) and to get myself some diving fins. Saturday we took a ferry to Isla Mujeras (aka island of the women) and walked to the northern point where we went snorkeling and had a lot of fun. It wasn’t one of the little group things, it was just us out there doing our own thing and we saw some really cool stuff, and I almost got robbed by a crab who tried to steal my wallet. Sunday was our big day to go to Chichen Itza, which is one of the largest Mayan villages in Mexico. The actual tour was rather expensive, so we figured we’d do it on our own. We went to the bus station and bought some tickets on a greyhound style bus, because it’s about 112 miles from Cancun. We got a bit of a late start, but figured the bus ride would probably take 2.5 hours and we’d have plenty of time at the ruins. Well the bus left at 11 and stopped like 400 million times to pick up people who never actually paid anything to ride. Most of them were poor villagers going to the next village so I didn’t pay any mind. Well since we stopped at every road, village, house, iguana crossing point and crack in the pavement, the trip took 4.5 hours making our average speed 24.3 miles per hour. We got to the park at 3:30 and had 1.5 hours to get through before they closed. We put our game faces on and did the whole park in the amount of time we had. After another eternity of bus travel, we arrived back in Cancun and headed back to our hotel to recover from our escapade. We got some great pictures and saved $50 per person over the tour cost. The only inconvenience was the multiple stops along the way. Also, if you’re more than about 5 feet tall, I suggest that you avoid tour busses and their horrible reclining seats. (Distance from my seat back to the seat in front of me, 24 inches, my femur length 27 inches, this equates to -3 inches of leg room. Get the picture? Also, old people stink!) So Monday comes and we decided to lounge around a bit and schedule the rest of our tours. After Chichen Itza we were kind of inclined to go through actual places for the rest of them. The three other things we wanted to do were a nice dinner cruise on our anniversary, a Coba adventure thing (which had the tallest Mayan temple in the Yucatan that you could hike, biking, kayaking, repelling, zip lining and such) and then go to Tulum and Xel-Ha (Tulum is another ruin place, and Xel-Ha ,which is pronounced like Shell-Ha, is a big natural inlet where many tropical fish gather and you can swim and bike and hike and snorkel and all kinds of fun stuff, kind of like a big natural water park. They had a package deal to do them both together because they were really close to one another). We scheduled the Coba thing for Tuesday, the dinner for Wednesday and the waterpark for Thursday. On Tuesday we had to get up early and headed to the Coba Mayan adventure. We did some neat repelling down a short 30 foot cliff, rode a jungle zip line, went kayaking in alligator infested water (or so we were told, I didn’t see any though) hiked through the jungle, went swimming in a cenote (Which is a sink hole underground. It was clean fresh water and nice and cool.) hiked through the jungle, ate an authentic Mayan meal for lunch, then went to the actual Coba ruins where we climbed the equivalent of a 12 story building and got some more neat pictures. It was a very nice tour and we had a lot of fun. Wednesday we swam in the Ocean a bit and I got pinched by a crab, also that night we wanted to do the dinner cruise, and there were two choices. One was a nice romantic dinner with lovely music and candle light and such, while the other was a pirate ship thing where you eat and then two ships start fighting and you get boarded and it’s all adventury and cool and stuff. Well being that it was our anniversary and wanting to have a special night, we opted for the Pirate show of course! We’d seen the ships in dock so we knew that they looked really cool and were getting excited for the show. Well evening comes around and we show up at the place we’re supposed to but there is no ship. There were a bunch of dudes dressed in pirate garb who were running around doing things, but the pirate ship wasn’t there yet. I figured it’d probably come puling up shortly before we left and board everyone, because they had to be already cooking if they were going to be feeding that many people. We did notice a few large Catamarans on the pier but hadn’t paid much attention to them. Suddenly they call us to line up for boarding and I am confused. Everyone started getting on the one of the Catamarans and we were beginning to feel we’d been misled. We decided we’d just go with it and see what happened. After we got seated onboard, there was a nice couple sitting across from us who explained to us that what was going on. Apparently the guy had booked us on a booze cruise pirate stage show on Isla Mujeras. Again we decided to go with it and just enjoy ourselves anyway. Soon we were introduced to Captain Mariposa (captain Butterfly, because this guy was… less than threatening) and his merry band of unconvincing and kind hearted pirates. They actually did do a little pirate fight on the water with another little cutter ship and kidnapped some of the ladies onboard. The night ended up being a lot of fun and I helped the guy sitting across from us propose to his girl friend. I also got some good blackmail pictures of the Nikkinator grooving on the dance floor and we got free pirate bandanas out of it. Basically the guy misled us into buying a pirate show from his company rather than the big fancy official one. I thought about going back and confronting him about it and see if I could fit this guy completely into a toilet (whole or in parts I don’t care) but then cooled off and just accepted it and had fun. Thursday we’d set up to go to Tulum and Xel-Ha, which was cool but by the time you get to the water park and start playing you don’t really have enough time to do everything unless you opt not to go to the ruins. So we decided we’d already seen two other ruins and could probably do without the others and stayed at the water park. We did some really cool underwater diving through caverns (which we may or may not have been allowed to be in) and some cliff diving off of a cute little 12 foot drop, and got a bunch of neat underwater pictures. Friday soon arrived and it was serious chill time. We played in the Ocean, the pool, did water aerobics, played chess on their giant outdoor board, and I nearly killed myself. I’d been wearing sunscreen the whole trip because I am whiter than white under my shirt. I also wanted to go home with at least a little bit of color to show I’d been on vacation somewhere tropical, so we laid out in the sun for like an hour. The Nikkinator had been tanning before we went so she’d be all acclimated, but I was like… a tuna (don’t ask me why I used that analogy because I don’t know, maybe because tuna is white meat?). Anyway, I got fried. We have pictures of be playing the role of lobster boy in the hotel room that night. Saturday was more lounging and being lazy on the last day of our vacation. Sunday was traveling for most of the day, and eventually ending up back at home. The trip was great and a lot of fun, however Mexico is by far the most expensive place I’ve ever been to. Who ever says things are cheap in Mexico is lying or is talking about buying beans in the middle of nowhere. We took several trips out of the hotel and tourist zones and things are about what they cost here at home. In the tourist zones they are unbelievably inflated! Example: $20 for a disposable underwater camera which retails for like $5 at a normal store. Anyway, it was groovy and for once it was actually long enough. Now it’s on to the hard part of getting back into the swing of work and school.

Jonny 5 is alive, lets just hope he doesn't short circuit

2007-05-07T08:59:00.000-07:00

So I’ve decided I am an idiot! This has undoubtedly been realized by many of you, but it’s just sinking in for me. So last Friday I’m getting off work and I’m excited because my Turkey hunt starts in the morning. We rush home (after a rather unfortunate shopping experience involving repeated trips to the store, and ending with the whole man verses woman thing…. I lost) and I start to get my things together for the morning. Jamie and the Nikkinator had plans to go see the new Spiderman movie, while I was to go to bed early because the sun has the audacity to rise at 5 in the morning this time of year. Just as I am about finished getting things together, I grab my tag and briefly look it over to make sure I have the right dates and area’s and everything is fine. Well everything isn’t fine. As a matter of fact I have to make phone calls to my dad to cancel the hunting trip because everything is so NOT fine! Somewhere I got the impression that the hunt opened on the 5^th, which is a Saturday, when it actually opens on the 7^th, which is a Monday. Who opens a hunt on a Monday? Well that’d be our lovely department of wildlife services (left un-capitalized because it’s a small way of getting revenge for 10 years of dashed hopes). Normally this wouldn’t be a big issue, but with us leaving Wednesday (Capitalized because I like Wednesdays!) I am a bit short on time. I’ll still have 11 days when I get back, but still (te he butt still). So instead we went scouting yesterday (Sunday, capitalized because… well I don’t really like Sunday’s, but I don’t dislike them either, it’s more of a mutual respect kind of thing. Let’s just say it’s capitalized because it should be.) and found a bunch of turkeys and called a few within about 30 feet. It was pretty cool and I am excited for tonight when I can actually shoot one now. Oh, for those of you who didn’t run out and watch Spider-Man 3 this weekend, DON’T (Capitalized to show a sense of importance or exclamation, thus conveying my feelings about the subject)! Since I didn’t have to go to bed early, I went with Jamie and the Nikkinator to see the movie. Here’s the thing about the Spiderman movies. The first one was great, nice new concept with neat effects and a compelling storyline. The second was alright, still a cool story and a new bad guy and the squishy value remained somewhat low (The squishy value is a number assigned based on the tendency for a movie to turn into a dribbling pathetic pile of teenage high school love scenes involving the main character and any of the female characters such as the “late blooming nerd girl turned playful hot chick but only because she discovered contacts and a good hair stylist” or the “whore who is really a good person inside and just needs a second chance” or the “I’m going to love you until after we mate, at which time I’ll eat you so the protein from your digesting corpse will feed my growing babies” or some other example of the female antagonist. Can you say run on sentence?). The third movie, however, is kinda slow and mostly about how MJ really is an untalented nobody, but for some reason hasn’t discovered it until now, and how she’s jealous about PP’s fame as Spiderman. Beyond that is a side story about a guy who somehow turns into the Sandman via a silicon particle disrupter, despite being made mostly of carbon, and can somehow rematerialize after dissociating into countless grains of sand (which are apparently made from amino acids and carbon chains) and another villain which starts out as a black booger sneezed from the gaping orifice of a fallen meteorite, who goes on to turn Spiderman into quite the lady killer. Anyway, these two do… stuff and it all looks pretty thanks to the advent of computer graphics, which should never become a replacement for good acting but there you go. I thought it was an over anticipated high school drama which didn’t actually take place in high school. Also, the Aviator is a horrible waste of 2 hours (yes, I just now got to see it). I think I remember why I don’t watch many movies anymore, they’re just not very good. Anyway, the next time I post will be about our adventures in Mexican food land, where the streets are paved with Taco’s and the Burritos frolic like the Salmon of Capistrano! Toodlie Pipski!

Like, Whoa?

2007-04-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

Well I feel it’s been sufficiently long enough since my last post. I’M DONE!!! Finals are complete and I have passed all of my classes! Now I can move on to happier things. Last night the Boginator and I started our educational suicide, aka Special Relativity, and it was neat. We were able to make sense of everything we studied and draw some nifty diagrams about how different observers view the passage of time. Anyway I won’t get into that unless peoples really want me to. I received my results back on the Limited Entry hunts and it looks like I have, yet again, failed to draw a Bull Elk tag (*spirited fist shake*). This puts me at 10 Bonus points. For those of you not familiar with the Utah draw system I’ll tell you a bit about it. When you put in for a hunt and don’t draw you get what is called a bonus point. For each bonus point you have, your name is entered in the drawing another time. This is somehow supposed to increase your chances of drawing though if everyone gets another bonus point too they’ll all be increasing by the same amount and thus no increase in probability will be observed with the exception of those that actually DO draw a tag (in which case all bonus points are erased and you wait 5 years then start over from 0). I have been putting in every year since I was 14 and have never drawn. I am now 24, and have accumulated 10 bonus points. They do, however, place a limit on the number of bonus points you can have. If I do not draw next year I will have reached this limit. My dad has likewise never drawn a permit and has been at the maximum limit for 6 years now. I also know a number of other individuals who have continued to put in for the drawing and have repeatedly been denied. I have officially lost all faith in the Utah draw system (despite having acquired a Turkey tag) and will begin looking to other states for reasonable odds in spite of the increased cost associated with non-resident hunting tags. In short, “Utah Division of Wildlife Resources can go to hell!” Meanwhile, the Nikkinator and I will be in Cancun in two weeks (*yay!*). I’ve not been focusing on our upcoming trip because of school, but now that’s over I can get all excited and realize that I only have two weeks to fit into my bathing suit! Anyway that’s about all that’s gone on recently, besides me being a freak before my finals due to the amount of caffeine pulsing through my veins. Anywho, toodley pipski!

So what have we learned today children?

2007-04-17T14:33:00.000-07:00

So the end of the semester draws near, which means finals are coming up. The only good thing about finals is that they end, and when they do it is party time! For those of you who are interested (which is probably none of you) I have plans for this summer. Almost enough plans that I could call the summer already “booked” and over with. After finals (after next week) I get to try to kill a turkey for a few days. Then the Nikkinator and I leave for Cancun for 2 weeks. When we get back I have about 10 more days to try to kill a turkey before the hunt ends. Bog and I will be starting to study General Relativity together because we’re apparently not geeky enough already. Also, I’ll be taking two normal summer classes (Writing for Scientists and Engineers online and Ethics and values on campus) which will surely prove to be utterly boring and will force me into conversation with people i have no desire to conversationalizeinger with. Also, this summer I plan to do a bunch of work on my rock crawler and have it to a testable point by fall. Top that off with the usual summer time activities like camping and such, and you’ve got one packed summer vacation. And now for something completely different. Since everyone is getting out of school and will need some way to drain all the brainy goo from their heads, I suggest a LAN party/Barbeque. I don’t know when or where, but I think it sounds like a good way to celebrate another semester gone by. Speak up if’n ya’ll want to set up something like that. Anyway, just wanted to say hi, so feel greeted you!!!

The most Loneliest day of my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiife.....

2007-04-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

So I’ve been working on this great surprise that many of you have heard so much about. Now the time has come to reveal it in all its marvel and glory. I’m sure you’re all familiar with my truck. You know, big, noisy and all those different colors. Well I had wanted to paint it over the winter break but decided that blowing up our house was a bad idea. The Nikkinator and I decided to wait until this summer to do it. That Idea has now been foiled. It will, unfortunately, no longer be necessary to paint my truck. Something terrible has happened and it can’t be undone. I have provided a picture below for those of you who’d like one last view of how my beautiful truck used to look before it happened. Just below that is the horrific result of what happens when someone has a free weekend and has a little too much fun. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured.

That’s right Chillins, it’s DONE! We called Maaco 2 weeks ago on a Monday to get an Idea what they would charge to spray the final coat and see if in fact I wanted to do it myself to save $$. It was at this point that I learned about their half off sale which was running until the end of the month of March. This made it almost as cheap as it would be if I were to do it all by myself. For us to get the deal we’d have to get the truck into them by Saturday the 31^st. I had 5 days to get my entire truck from the state it was in to be ready for paint. Between school, work and that project I had zero time for anything else. I even took a day off to help propel my work forward. Friday night (aka Saturday morning) we finished at about 1:30 and then collapsed. We dropped the truck off at around Noon and then I waited on pins and needles for an entire week. I picked it back up just this past Saturday and had her back together and looking sexy by the end of the day. Just a few things are needed to complete the restoration (most of which are interior) and they will come in time. I would probably like to get some new tail lights since mine are all smashed and such. To be completely fair I didn’t even tell my family about this project until yesterday when we drove up in my “new” ride, so no one should feel offended that they weren’t “in the loop” (or at least you should all be equally offended). Anyway, that’s what we’ve been up to lately. Sorry for the length between the posts, besides work being a little busier than normal, I’ve had this going on. I’ll be good from now on. Later!

And now for the architecture skit!

2007-03-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

Well my conscience has been yelling at me (and in this case my conscience consists of Big-H, Deliveror, Bog, and the Nikkinator) to create a new post for “Ye Ole Blog”, so I figured I’d see what I could come up with. Not much worth note has happened recently. We are currently birdless since Pete decided to fall off his stick and die. School is still school, and I am chewing through some serious notebook paper. Other than that, people are having birthdays and the year is ¼ over already. At this rate it feels like I’ll be forty by next week! (PS Why in the world does four have a “u” but forty doesn’t!? I hate Engrish!) Anywho, it’s been lovely outside lately. So lovely that I don’t want to be inside doing the things I am obligated to do (you know things like work, school, eating, running around in my Tarzan outfit, etc.) and I am sure many of you feel the same way. I am a little concerned that it’s technically not even spring yet and we’re seeing temperatures in the 70’s. This tends to suggest a summer that will attempt to out do hell itself. All I can say is YAY for compressed R-22! (That’s the stuff they use in home air conditioning units) I was thinking about making a MySpace page, and then I thought that maybe I shouldn’t. That’s about as far as I got. Here’s a disturbing question, how many buckets of doggie doo can two labs make over the course of a winter? And while you ponder that for a minute, just picture Big-H on the phone, unable to talk, making squeaky noises because of what a take out food box was saying to her. So Payson is cool. So far we’ve found that within a 10 minute drive, there are places to camp, shoot, 4 wheel, hike, and many other of my favorite activities. Also we’ve found some very nice restaurants tucked away in places you normally wouldn’t think to look. Also, in just a few days the countdown will start! But….. the countdown to what? BUM BUM BUMMMMMM!

One time, at Randy Beeman's house....

2007-02-14T13:27:00.000-08:00

Well the big day has arrived, and what a day it’s been too. Last night as I sat down to study for my Chemistry lab today, I discovered that I had misplaced my Lab book. Normally not a big deal, but we have a quiz every lab right at the beginning of class and if you haven’t read through the procedures you’ll likely fail the quiz. I found out that they had a copy in the school library, which opens at 7am and my lab starts at 8, so I decided to get up early and go study in the morning. So after early morning negotiations with myself about whether it was worth getting up or not, I dragged myself out of bed at 6am (well more like 6:20 but whose counting) and got ready to go. We ht the library, got the book and started going at it. I should probably mention that the last 3 labs were due today too, so I was frantically trying to get them completed as well. Well 8 came around tragically fast and I ran down to lab and took the quiz. I think I did pretty well. Then it was time to start playing with chemicals and looking all cool in my goggles and such. I never did find my book and presume it to be lost forever. No big deal because it’s not returnable anyway. The biggest problem was not having it when I needed it and the fact that my locker number and combination was on a paper folded into it. Fortunately, my flawless and wonderful memory was able to recall the combination and locker number after having seen it only once the week before. Meanwhile, it’s V-day and I have things to remember to do. So after Lab I ran over to an unnamed retail location (whose name would suggest that they sell wall partitions) and joined about 6 other men who were frantically buying red heart shaped things and trying to remember what the different color of roses were supposed to mean. In other news, last night the Nikkinator was supposed to go to the gym while I was in class. When I met up with her afterwards and noted that she still smelled lovely and wasn’t wearing gym clothes. When I asked her about it, she told me that she was late leaving and didn’t get there in time. (end flashback) So I go BEBOPPIN’ into work and can’t help but notice there is a large bouquet of roses on my desk, accompanied by none other than my favorite Hershey almond filled hugs (you know the ones with the white chocolate swirls) and kisses. I love my wife, and apparently she loves me too. It’s no big secret that I like getting flowers, unless it is a big secret in which case I’ll have to flashy thing you. So I have chocolate and flowers and no chemistry lab book, and that’s been my day. Toodles!

Bloggus Contributus!

2007-02-06T13:09:00.000-08:00

News News News. I have some news. Our “IT Guy” here at US Synthetic maintains a website, which you’ll now notice has acquired a sacred spot among my links, which covers general tech stuff. I noted a small segment where he mentioned he was looking for some “experts” on various subjects to contribute to his blog, one of which was for a Gaming Expert. I don’t presume to declare myself an expert on anything, but figured I’d offer my services as meager as they may be. Anyway, he has granted me the position of “gaming correspondent” (that’s what I call it because it sounds cool) and I now will be churning out gaming articles a couple times a week. I will be setting up an account specifically for this and will post a link to it when it is complete, as well as provide anyone interested with the address. It is my intent to cover everything from upcoming games and consoles (yea, me covering consoles. funny?), to hardware and getting inside the programming. Basically anything to do with gaming will be open…. game.

What Women Want...

2007-02-05T12:08:00.000-08:00

Well we’re already 1/12^th of the way through 2007. Time flies I suppose. On my way from class I realized what a nice day it is. The sun was at my back and I could feel it warming through my back and it was great. So V-Day is coming. The day where we tell all the single persons in the world that they don’t belong. I’m still trying to get the hang of it because I always hated V-Day. I feel bad because I make a small deal of it and the Nikkinator deserved better. Since no one seems interested in giving me ideas about anything, my first ‘how to’ is about making your significant other feel loved while not blowing your savings on the big day. Keep in mind that this is coming from someone who hasn’t got a clue. Also, for those seeking companionship I tell you this… RUN!!!!!! (This previous statement has no bearing on my current views as a subdued and slightly sedated married man. I have no opinion of my own and am only channeling the juju of bachelors around the world, a group of which I am a former member.)

Things I have learned.

#1 Women lie. If you are unoriginal enough to have to ask what they want (as am I) they will inevitably give you a bogus answer about only needing your love and garbage like that. What she really wants is everything you can possibly give her and then some. If you’re foolish enough to take her response of wanting nothing at face value (which I did once and will, for the sake of my personal safety, never do again) and let the day or even the better part of the morning go by without flowers, chocolates, jewelry or any other cliché gift, you’ll get your investment back with interest (i.e. Nothing with a side of nut kicking ). Thus, get her something. Even if it is a cheap piece of Wal-Mart jewelry and a heart shaped sucker, just get her something.

#2 Women don’t really want you to be original. Chocolates (in the obligatory red heart shaped container), roses (Must be red. Not black, yellow, white, orange, pink, or any other color than deep dark red.), jewelry (if it’s not real, you’re in for it) and all manner of regular, run of the mill gifts are exactly what they want. However, they must be presented in the largest and most obnoxious containers imaginable so that she can compare with her friends and see whose husband loves them the most.

#3 V-Day is not for men. I personally like getting flowers, and I don’t think I have kept my love of chocolate a secret. Despite this, I have found that I have absolutely no right to expect any of these things in any way shape or form. When the big day comes around and you have spent close to $300 on stuff for her, you just smile and take joy in knowing that you are lucky to even have a woman to give gifts to. Be happy if you get a card, you’re better off than most men. Also, lingerie is ALWAYS considered a gift for yourself so don’t even think about it!

#4 Timing is everything. Let’s say you have a whole room full of goodies for her. As the day goes by, you get excited about how you’re going to spring it all on her at once just before a wonderful homemade dinner that you’ve spent almost a week preparing. She comes home at say 6 o-clock and you’re ready and waiting. Sounds like a perfect surprise right? WRONG!!! According to my calculations, you have about 5 minutes after she wakes on the big day to deliver the first gift. If you fail to deliver, you loose a point. I figure there are about 100 points per day and by the time 6pm rolls around and you spring your trap, you are dwelling in the negatives my friend. The best thing you can hope for is a cold scowl as she acknowledges your existence and tries not to set your hair on fire.

#5 How to succeed! Despite all the negative aspects, there are some set ways to succeed on V-Day. It will require some preparation on your behalf and some liquid funds. You need to start preparing in March for the big day. Taking note of her tastes for candy, chocolate in particular, and note any changes in diet or preference. Without her knowledge, rummage through her jewelry and note anything that is/isn’t worn throughout the year, anything that is missing bits or is broken, and get ideas for replacement or new pieces. Spa gift certificates are always welcome, though they need to be for more than the most expensive thing on their list of services so that she doesn’t feel cheap when she shows up to redeem said certificate. Multiple gifts are defiantly the way to go, but don’t think that just because you have quantity that you can be lax on quality. As previously mentioned, you need to start the pampering and gift giving (notice I did NOT say gift exchange!) before the sun comes up. And the last thing, get inside her head and know exactly what she doesn’t want you to do (which may include everything I just told you to do). Methods of doing this range from Ouija, Tarot, Voodoo, Prayer, Casting bones, Séance, Meditation (with or without LSD, PCP, TNT or other mind ‘opening’ substances), and many others.

I bid you good luck.

To The Nikkinator: The views expressed in this work of fiction/non-fiction are not necessarily the opinions of the author. Demonic possession may have been a factor in this obviously erroneous and offensive work. Your husband is not at fault and would appreciate retaining all of his current body parts and privileges he has earned through years of faithful service.

Seek and it shall be dumped out upon you

2007-01-29T12:23:00.000-08:00

HAPPY MONDAY! Ok, for those of you who are ready to kill me for simply muttering those two words next to each other, I remind you that if the week never began it could never end. Now THAT would truly be tragic. Well it seems that I have come onto the good side of the Utah draw system because I’ll have an opportunity to kill a Turkey this May. I’m excited because I’ve never hunted Turkey before and I think it’ll be a lot of fun, thought perhaps a bit difficult. In an effort to continue developing my meager writing skills, I have decided to write a story. As I may have mentioned to some of you before, this is a story that I thought of as I was mowing the lawn about 4 years ago in our Lehi house. Now I don’t expect this to be anything worth… well anything, so don’t expect much. Hopefully I’ll be able to have a rough draft by the end of the year. Once finished I’ll supply a copy to anyone who’d like one. UVSC had one of their junk sales last Friday, and in all that junk there were 3 projectors. I’ve wanted to get my hands on one for our theater, even if it’s just a cheap second hand one for now. They had 3 available, only one of which turned on. Though it was a nice prospect to pick up a used one for $60, it was not what I was looking for. I have priced out some nice projectors and have come to the conclusion that I can get a very capable one which will perfectly match the geometry of our room for right around $1000. It doesn’t sound like much until you actually try to come up with the money. In the long run it’ll happen though I doubt it’ll be within the next year. When I do happen to get a projector, I plan to post a tech article about setting up the projector, screen and optimizing the whole system. In the mean time we have a full surround system, to glorify the images supplied by our standard 27” TV. Awe well, can’t have it all at once. I have been becoming interested in writing some other tech articles as well, though I don’t know if it’d be appropriate to post them in my main blog. I imagine some of the things that I’d choose to cover would be mildly interesting to one or two people and bore the rest. Perhaps I’ll post them on the Wiki, or maybe add another page just for tech articles. Some of the things I am considering covering at this point are basic/intermediate/advanced engine maintenance and repair, basic/intermediate electrical (both automotive and home), vehicle modification, suspension design, and various other things. If that interests anyone I will be more than happy to do what I can. Also if you have any subjects you’d like addressed I’ll do what I can to help, so please leave those comments. Other appropriate subjects would be how to build an Interositer, defining infinity, completing the square, removing squirrels from small passages, illuminating pinhole pictures through use of a reflective shadowbox, building the worlds greatest diorama, making your own homebrew LCD, preparing various explosives, capitalizing on seemingly useless bodily waste, and of course how to separate all the valuable materials found in everyday soil. So let me know!

Revolutionizing the ways we make fun of people

2007-01-22T11:22:00.000-08:00

Well I’ve updated again and I can just see it now. Everyone rolling their eyes and wondering what I’ll be going off about this time. Well I’ve got news for you Bub! I’ll be the first to admit that my blog has sucked lately, and I believe that I have figured out why. It’s no secret that I think little of my fellow students at UVSC, and often being around them makes me irritable and puts me in a poor mood. The problem is that I usually start to blog when I get back from school and I have this cynical demeanor. Thus I will not be bloging when in this mood in an effort to produce a more uplifting page. In the spirit of this effort I will also be refraining from posts about politics, as this is another subject which I have a rather cynical view on. At this point I feel it appropriate to apologize to the two or so people who actually read for my lack of content and basically crappy attitude. Instead, I’ll be using the site to further my agenda with regard to world domination.

Now what?

2007-01-09T15:25:00.000-08:00

We hear about all kinds of countries, mostly communist or socialist, censoring the media so that the people of the country only hear what the government want them to hear. In some cases this isn’t necessary because our own biases will edit what we don’t want to hear for us. I have often wondered what the world thinks of our “adventures” in Iraq. I know this is a huge can of worms and everyone had a different opinion, but the point remains that it is a problem. Our leader and president acted based on the information he was presented with and this is where we are. Point the finger all you want, but the problem still remains. How do we improve the situation so that we can bring our friends and neighbors home? Anyway, in my search for understanding, I have been looking at world wide news agencies, particularly BBC news. I have found a worldwide resentment toward the American people. I can understand their views as well. Mostly, I see that is seems difficult to separate the interests of those in power with the interests of the general populous. I heard this morning that the Presidents percentage of popularity has dropped in to the 20’s. They just see us losing in Iraq, Afghanistan, and now attacking in Somalia. To some, not just Islam extremists but normal people in several countries, we are the terrorists. We are losing global popularity and it is no longer safe for me and others to call themselves Americans in an increasing number of countries. Tomorrow we’ll hear about what Bush plans to do about this terrible situation we find ourselves in. I wonder what he’ll come up with and if any of it will actually happen. I can’t help but feel manipulated by yet another wordsmithing politician. Soon, our congress will meet for the first time and try to make sense of the situation. What will happen I wonder? Is this the start of the fall of the greatest country in the world? Time will tell. In the meantime, it may be pertinent to proclaim yourself as Canadian if you should find yourself suddenly in another country.

They're on a collisions course with wakkiness!

2007-01-02T11:53:00.000-08:00

Well whether we like it or not, the New Year has come. Holidays are over and it’s time to get back to work and school and all kinds of happy crap. School starts back up on Thursday and I don’t feel ready. I decided to wait on the truck project for a couple of reasons. First, wanted to have a bit of time off over the holidays to just sit back and take it easy. Second, the cost, difficulty and danger of keeping the garage at or above 70 Fahrenheit would have been great. Propane heater + volatile chemicals misted from a paint gun = no eye brows. I’m all about explosions, but only when I’m not in the middle of them. So we’ll see about doing it in the summer. Meanwhile, I did get a chance yesterday to set up our surround sound in the theater. The wires were pre routed in the walls, so I really only had to do a little trimming, some hanging and a little testing and optimization (and a little bit of creative problem solving when one of the wires was found to have dropped back inside the wall). Anyway, it was rather painless, and sounds pretty good. One strange thing I noted it that the remote for our sound system seems to have a life of its own. It will randomly send out signals to the receiver instructing it to shut down. This violates my policy of “do what I say or die” so it is now lifeless (a.k.a. no batteries). There is something about exhibiting your will on inanimate objects that leaves you feeling refreshed and gratified. Well, like so many at this time of year, it’s time for me to start focusing on a diet. Since starting school 1 year ago, I have gained and held about 20 lbs. While I don’t care at all how much I weigh, I have noticed that my clothes don’t fit as comfortably as they used to and I don’t feel as healthy as I have in the past. However, rather than make all these promises that’ll last about 3 weeks, I’ll just make some simple changes. In the past 2 weeks the Nikkster and I have been on the bishopric hit list it seems. (like that? the Nikkster? I just thought of it. I bet she’ll hate it! It’s code talk you see, so I don’t have to use her real name! Yes I AM awesome, aren’t I?) You see, 3 weeks ago we were your typical people who were privileged enough to be able to attend our regular block, Sunday school and Elders Quorum/Relief Society. Now, THE Nikkster (pronounced ‘thee nik-STEER’ for the time being) is locked into talking in front of the 11 year olds with the title of ‘Teacher’, and it would seem I am to do all the paperwork for the Elders presidency as their secretary/conveyer of donuts. Thus, I shall now begin observing national Secretary Day which will be held this year on April 25^th. I expect chocolate and lots of it! Now on to business, as some of you may know my computer is stupid. Here stupid is used synonymously with ‘it no worky’. It would seem to be a fairly straight forward problem, in that when you push the power button absolutely nothing happens. Referring back to the IT crowd, the first thing I checked was that it was plugged in. From here things got a little technical, but basically it was plugged in. Next I checked the power supply and it was good. I even verified this with a second power supply borrowed from the Deliveror of all things containing lemony goodness (My favorites are the Goth Rock Speed Metal Fusion cookies! Ok only about 3 people will get that joke). The more I test the more I find out what the problem isn’t. Unfortunately, all signs are pointing to the motherboard which is a cheap but crappy problem. If I were to replace the motherboard, the temptation to upgrade is SO strong. That’s how I work. Just look at my truck, anything that has broken on it has been replaced with the biggest and strongest components I could find, within reason. And if I ever break those then I’ll have to abandon reason and just buy an M1 Abrams tank (nothing says I’m cool like potentially dangerous government surplus). Thus, what I’d really like to do is spend about $1100 and upgrade my entire system. This, however, will not be happening unless anyone finds me cute and lovable enough to fund the project for me (this is where I smile and bat my eyelashes). So I’m stuck right now with a computer that looks like it’s in the middle of a rather invasive abdominal explosion (as opposed to the non-invasive abdominal explosions). I guess once I verify that it is in fact the Motherboard I’ll find a nice little orphaned replacement and cram it into my system. Anyway, I’d like to thank everyone who came to the party for a good time and condemn those who didn’t come to a life full of curiously talkative breakfast cereals. It was a good party. I know this because we had all the necessary things. We had a fireworks show (courtesy of Ty, Happy Birthday Ty!), wild animals showing their talents (the girls sleeping in the bedroom and the parakeets… doing what ever it is that parakeets actually do), movies (thanks to Deliveror’s Media PC, and a very special thanks to Eegah and very strange foreign cartoons), LAN gaming (again, thanks solely to Deliveror’s ability to procure graphical human interface devices), strippers (in fact the same ones that I brought to the bachelor party), staggering drunkenness (when I slipped and fell down the last 2 stairs), even someone loosing their lunch (when Tessa surprised us all with her impression of a garden hose). And in the morning there were at least 3 individuals (besides the Nikkinator and I) that had lost consciousness in various places throughout the house. Anyway, I thought it was fun and I hope everyone had a good time.

Santa, will being teleported to our doom be fun and christmasy?

2006-12-20T12:35:00.000-08:00

Yep, Christmas is almost here, less than a week away even. At this point I find myself trying to avoid going anywhere, seeing anyone or anything involving me being exposed to the holiday chaos. Since we have moved into our new house, we have had a total of zero unexpected visitors. We usually spend our evenings doing things (typically homework) in the piece and quiet of an empty house. That streak was ended last night in terrible ways. The first interruption came in the form one of the bishopric extending a calling to Nikki. She, being an optimistic person and always willing to help, quietly accepted her doom in primary (yea primary, the same place we’ve served since we were married and one of the causes of our unwillingness to engage in baby making!). Actually, I was quite surprised that he didn’t call me to something as well. So Mr. Dude-man leaves and it’s quiet and nice again….. until Nikki gets a look on her face like she’s forgotten something rather important. Apparently we were supposed to do our Tithing settlement last Sunday. However weather and traffic saw to it that we not only didn’t make it there on time, but completely forgot about it as well. So we ran over to the church and were able to squeeze right in due to a gap in appointments. This was the first time either of us had met our bishop, and it was rather a pleasant experience. He’s a very easy person to talk to and actually caries on a conversation at normal speed. He seems very down to earth and speaks very straight forward as Nikki was about to find out. Apparently word had gotten back to him (keep in mind this is within about 10 minutes of her getting her calling) that she was… less than excited to be called into the primary. The bishop came right out and said it to her. “So I hear you’re not very excited to be called to primary” he said in a very light hearted and respectful manner. “I’m not NOT excited to be in primary. It’s just that we’ve been there for 4 years now” she replied. She said she’s happy to serve in whatever calling she’s needed in and thus condemned herself to 10 year olds (though I’d estimate that is about the maturity level I have aspired to by now, so she should feel right at home). After this little exchange he looked at me, who was happily stuffing myself with the candy he’d offered (that’s right. CANDY IS DELICIOUS!!!). I gulped down taffy as he asked where my interests were in relation to a calling. That’s when I told him I felt that a calling right now would work, but when school started back up it’d be a problem. Thus the meeting ended and we were good to go. About 20 minutes after getting home, the doorbell rang again. This time it was the OTHER councilor who then requested that we speak in church. I guess we were on the hit list for that evening. I figure speaking in church is acceptable in place of a calling, especially right now where I can afford to put some effort into a talk. Meanwhile, Christmas draws slowly closer like a massive slow moving storm. It’s entertaining to watch everyone prepare at the last minute while you sit comfortably behind the walls or your “I-finished-early” fortress. Anywho, to those of you who haven’t yet finished, I send a loving wave of mockery in your direction. If you must travel, do so cautiously. Stay safe and have a great Holiday!!!

Share the road? USE THE SIDEWALK!

2006-12-14T15:15:00.000-08:00

Well it’s done. I’m officially done with my finals. Now on to bigger and better things, namely more classes that’ll inevitable have more finals. Anyway, at least I get a few weeks off to catch up on some other things. So I assume everyone has heard that we’re having a Wintereenmas LAN party on Saturday the 16^th. I think it’ll be a lot of fun. So we had our company party a while ago and it was great. But the fun doesn’t stop there, because apparently the R&D group has an annual Christmas party as well. This is of course much smaller, involving only about 20 people of which I am one. Anyway, it was a pot luck function so the food sucked, and they also did a white elephant gift exchange. Normally I am not a big fan of the white elephant game because all the stuff is crap, but in this case they specifically mentioned to bring gifts that you’d like to be getting with a $10 limit so I was actually looking forward to it. Well, as we all draw numbers I end up with #4. So my turn comes and I open up a 14.5 Volt cordless drill, it was just a Harbor Freight cheapie but still. I had it a total of about 14 seconds before it was stolen. After seeing some of the gifts I was getting kind of excited because they were nice things. So after I had my gift stolen I got to open a new one. It was a Hollywood Video gift certificate and popcorn, and I HATE popcorn! Well no one even looked twice at my gift because everything else was so much more betterester. So after the game ended I gave away the popcorn and kept the gift certificate. Also, our HR dude found out that we were having a party and donated 3 envelopes that we could draw for in what ever means we wanted. So we had a passer by write 3 random numbers on the enveloped and drew for them. Somehow I managed to draw one of the winning numbers. I watched as someone opened the first envelope which contained a $25 gift certificate to the University Mall. The second contained the same thing. When I opened mine all I found was a piece of paper that said Merry Christmas and had obviously been written in haste. It sucked. Anyway, that is about as eventful as life has been lately. Certainly it’ll become more exciting as I start preparing my truck this weekend. I plan on taking many pictures and may actually post a few on the Wiki or even right here on everyone’s favorite site…. to poop on (a little exert from Comic the insult dog there). I’m sure this is just fascinating, much like watching a Lion on the Discovery channel devour a Wildebeest, gruesome but you can’t look away. Suffice it to say that I am glad to be done with finals, my grades should be acceptable and if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go remove my brain for storage until the weekend is over.

Sounds like someone has a case of the mondays!

2006-11-27T14:48:00.000-08:00

Ah the Monday after a holiday weekend, is there anything more hated? Anyway, I had a good vacation. Wednesday I was able to get “The Jimmy” about 90% finished, though I worked on it until 2 am. By the time we got home it was 3 in the morning so Thursday we slept in until about 11. After dragging my face off the pillow, it was time to make some pies and my famous home made ice cream. At this point I feel impressed to warn everyone to NEVER use regular granulated salt to make ice cream, you MUST use rock salt. Thanksgiving was great. Get together with the family and eat like we all die tomorrow. After the afternoon meal, it was time for some serious laziness. My wife, mom and sister were busy planning their attack on the morning sales. My dad was valiantly holding down a chair, despite having had surgery on both wrists the previous day. After looking through the ‘deals’ and ‘super saver early bird sales’, Nikki decided that staying in bed sounded like a much better use of her time. I would have gone out if not for two simple truths. 1, we are nearly finished with Christmas shopping. Nikki, in her infinite wisdom as a woman (No really, just ask her! Or any woman for that matter!), has seen to it that I have an enjoyable holiday season by finishing our Christmas shopping early. Yes I hate Christmas shopping, and for no other reason than the people. The human creature, when faced with such an endeavor, de-evolves into a life form best described as prehistoric. 2, I don’t go shopping the day after Thanksgiving because I went… twice. After nearly punching an elderly lady for repeatedly clipping the back of my heels with her shopping cart, I swore to myself that I’d never go out again. Thus I slept, happily and dreamt of dinosaurs rampaging through my high school, only to have me chastise them for eating people and suggesting the plentiful livestock ranches as an alternative source of food. Life was good. After waking from this disturbing dream, it was time to head over and finish the Jimmy (te hee). It went pretty fast and we were out of there within two hours. From there we went over to Jamie’s house to start our Lord of the Rings fest. The intent was to watch the all of the extended editions in two days, and we did it. The last half was done at our place because Jamie’s dad commandeered the TV for the BYU Utah game, which was supposedly a good game but I don't much care. Sunday came without much warning, and I was able to wash my car for the first time in about two months (And likely the last time this year. This is also the reason the weather has turned wet and stormy incase you were wondering). That evening we had planned to have dinner with Nikki’s parents, so we drove up to Bountiful and enjoyed a post Thanksgiving dinner with them. While there, we obtained two parakeets and brought them home for the girls to drool over. We’ve decided to name them Pete and Kara (Pete after the bird in Red Dwarf that gets turned into a T-Rex, and Kara because when you combine the two names and rearrange the letters you get parakeet. I am SO nerdy!). Anyway, that was our vacation. I am now down to the final two weeks of school this semester, and things are looking alright. These next 14 days are sure to be a bit hellish, but once they are over I get a substantial break from school before next semester starts. Furthermore, my class load next semester is a little lighter, so I should be able to participate in more friendly type activities. After school is done, it’s time to start on the truck project. The garage is ready and waiting and I am itching to get my hands back on something besides homework.

And now for something completely different...

2006-11-08T11:17:00.000-08:00

Nikki and I went yesterday and did our part to support democracy, and it appears the results are in. The question is, now what? It’ll still be a hundred years before we see fruition from the new taxes we’ll be paying with regard to light rail and such. One good thing that came from the elections, the cool stickers! Honestly, that’s why I went. Forget the whole elected officials thing, I just wanted a little American flag sticker that tells everyone I voted! You can’t help but feel insignificant though. I mean there are 300 Million people in the US, which makes your vote count for 0.0000000033% of what actually happens. (I’m aware that a certain percent isn’t of the voting age yet, but it’s an estimate and I don’t see you coming up with any better numbers) Granted that’s for National votes and these were state or region specific, but that’s a little on the small side of insignificant. Now is the real test, seeing who was lying and who wasn’t telling the truth. I wonder what the average percent is of the things a politician say’s he’ll do and what actually happens. I can’t help but feel it’s just like School presidency where they promise things that sound great and are really good ideas, but when they actually get into the position they have no where near the appropriate amount of power or resources to pull off what they were thinking. SO the hop on top of whatever “big” issue is floating by that day and hope the moronic cattle (that’d be you and I) who gave him this position forget about all those silly little things. I realize my view is somewhat shaded and cynical, but I have seen little good come from our elected officials. They are experts in stalemate, deception and secrecy. I submit that every facet of state government, with the only exceptions being certain information in law enforcement (I also support making criminal records public), be easily publicly accessible and audited more regularly in an effort to eliminate fraud and abuse of power. Furthermore I propose extraordinarily tough penalties for elected officials guilty of misconduct. For crying out loud I am sounding more and more like them. I guess everyone has their opinions about how things should be run, and good on them. Suffice it to say that I am frustrated with how our tax dollars are being spent, the lack of progress in so very many directions and the high level of inappropriate activity amongst our elected representatives. I promise this’ll be the last political rant I do this year, and I’ll try to stay out of it until the presidential elections come about in 2 more years. So until the I’ll be posting pictures of my truck and such.

Vote for stupid!

2006-11-06T15:29:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the big day, election day! So last night I was reading through the pamphlet that came in the mail that has information on each candidate, and I realized that there are some real winners who are running. They were given 100 words to describe what they stood for and believed in. There were several that I had to read multiple times in order to understand what idea they were trying to get across. Some of the entries were just laughable. Some treated it like a job application where they list their meager qualifications, while others used it to express their opinion that love sets you free and children are wonderful. Others babbled on nonsensically as if spoken and written language was something all together new to them. My point is that I am yet again viewing the elections as a crap shoot in which you can never win but only loose less. What can you do? I mean really, what is there stopping me from running (besides a complete lack of interest). I guess the ability of some common person (and I mean very common) to run for public office is what makes America great. What gets me is the fact that these people are supposed to be representatives, and I shudder to think that the masses are putting some of these people on pedestals. It’s about like entering your stock and rusty 1987 VW Golf in a classic car show. Anyway, before I get on a rant I’d better change the subject. OH! So I’m sitting in church yesterday, staring at the floor and figuring out functions to explain the shapes in the carpeting. Behind us is a young girl, I’m guessing about 1 year to 18 months old. Still in the babbling stages of infancy, and she was just babbling away. So there I sit, dazing from an overload of Calculus homework when it happens. I’d been singing that Taco’s song from Invader Zim all morning, and in her babbling the girl behind us yelled out TACOS!!! I could not stop laughing! I chuckled through most of the next several talks. This was only topped when, while waiting for Nikki outside of the Relief Society room, a group of young women walked up to the door and said (not so quietly) “Why does it take the OLD LADIES so long to get out?” This was funny to me as well, especially considering that Nikki just turned 25. Yup 25, the half way to 50 mark! I’ve decided life is much more interesting when you get all the inside jokes (some of which are so inside that the people making the jokes aren’t aware of it). Now that the hunts are over, it’s time for me to get back on track with some of my projects. This is, of course, after catching up on my homework and preparing the garage for the upcoming event. I have decided that my truck has been ugly long enough and it’s time for a face lift, or at least some makeup. I’ll be preparing my truck for paint over the next 2 months. I have between December 7th (65^th anniversary of Pearl Harbor, also the last day of classes) and January 1st to get the truck repaired, prepped, and primed. I have all the equipment to do the priming myself and will be doing such. I also have the equipment to do the painting as well and will most likely, after a bit of practice, be shooting the paint myself. I will likely be posting pictures of my progress as I go through everything, because I know you’re all so interested. Well, until next week, keep your stick on the ice!

And the least tasteful costume of the year award goes to....

2006-10-30T13:20:00.000-08:00

Well I have some good news and bad news. The good news we (we meaning the group) didn’t get skunked. Luke got his first deer, and Scott got his as well. I didn’t get one because I am the kind of person who prefers to take the legal route rather than get an animal, which is my excuse for not bringing home meat. I did bring home some horns though. I found a set of horns from a HUGE non-typical buck. This is the kind of buck you piss yourself over before you attempt to shoot at it. Awe well, so the hunts are over. So I did well on my Chemistry test, and now I have a little time to relax before my next test. As I have been watching the news I read a story that I liked. I guess there are 2 fathers that lost their sons to heroin overdoses are starting a website to offer rewards for tips and leads that result in the capture of drug dealers. I thought this was a good idea and decided to add my twist to it. I think we should offer the street value of what ever drug is confiscated. That’d be a great reward I think, the only problem is where the money will come from. I miss hanging out with ya’ll. I am excited that I’ll be able to attend the Tuesday/Halloween night festivities (since I’m bringing the guest of honor) and I recommend the scariest movie of them all. That’s right ‘The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra’. I know ill get a second vote from Chris, a loud groan from Heather, and a sharp and violent advance on my genitalia from Dave. Really, what is on tap for scary movie night? Will these be silly, make fun of scary movies? Will they be scantily clad teenager cliché type scary movies? Will it be the kind of movie where the guy that looks like your next door neighbor goes nuts and kills an entire family while they’re asleep then eats them over the next 3 or 4 years while the police mistakenly rule him out as a suspect because he was supposedly seen at a bowling alley that night and the family’s brother-in-law spent 3 days in an institution a few years ago so he’s the main suspect? Or did I read about that one in the news? Either way I’m sure it’ll be great fun. I don’t care if it’s a costume party or not, I’m coming dressed up. Well I’m about out of anything worth saying (not that I mean any of the things I have already covered are worth saying) so I’ll leave you.

Howsh 'ya get porshupine pish anyway?

2006-10-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

Well I guess it’s time to break out the porcupine piss and find a forest ranger who knows all the verses to "swing low sweet chariot", because I can’t seem to find a deer. It was a good hunt, and by hunt I mean walk. I find it interesting that in a matter of 5 days, the number of deer can drop so dramatically. It seems like we were kicking them out of everywhere on the last weekend of the Elk hunt, but when we can actually kill the deer legally they are no where to be found. We found plenty of Elk though. I even got to watch a Moose try and get his freak on, but his woman wasn’t having any of that type of behavior and turned him down. Awe well, I guess what ever happens, happens. So I had my 3^rd Calculus test last Thursday, and I’m all on pins and needles to find out what I got. The Holidays are coming, and I am not ready. I tend to get a little grumpy as Christmas nears, and I‘m never really sure why. Also, although I am not against eating until I pop (just ask my mom about the pancakes, but remember that anything that makes you laugh at my expense is a lie), I don’t fully appreciate the origins of Thanksgiving. It seems to me like focusing on the wonderful dinner before a violent date rape. It avoids the reality of the situation that we gratefully accepted help from the natives, then looked at them and asked “what else can we take?” I feel the urge to rant and rave about something but I currently lack the mental fortitude to simply pick something to focus my energies on. Actually that’s not entirely true. I thought of something and wrote about a page about it, but then deleted it because I don’t want to be responsible for anyone getting depressed and doing damage to themselves. Anyway, I’ll try to come up with something more creative tomorrow. Laters!

I've got the "Last Day of the Hunt" Blues

2006-10-16T10:59:00.000-07:00

As I’m sure you’re all aware, I went Elk hunting this weekend. This was the second and last weekend of the hunt. The first weekend we saw plenty of Elk, just no spikes. And for those of you unfamiliar with Utah’s hunting rules, you have to draw a Limited Entry tag to kill large bulls which is something I’ve been trying to get since I was 14. Since I have other things to say I won’t get into my frustrations on the Utah draw system. So anyway we were out hunting. My dad and Luke (that’d be my brother in law) left Thursday night so they could hunt Friday and at least have a good idea of where we should start on Saturday. Well instead of finding where the Elk were they knew exactly where the Elk weren’t. Nikki and I headed up Friday right after work and I was trying to be optimistic. My cousin, Megan, had killed a spike on opening morning, but other than that we had only heard of a handful of people getting their animals. She also reported that she had seen others but couldn’t do anything about it. Anyway, Saturday morning comes around and we’re up and on the horses nice and early. In the moonlight we can see the trail just fine and a little bit of the horizon. As we approach the top of a small ridge we see a silhouette along the horizon of a large body. After waiting for it to get a bit lighter we discovered that it was a bull Elk but too large for any of our tags. So we kept moving and saw a bunch of Deer and a few more Elk, but again there were no spikes. Well I got late in the morning and we headed back to camp for a bit of rest and some food. When the evening hunt rolled around, we headed into a different area and ran into a herd which we never could get a good look at. Well the Elk spooked and ran over a ridge, down a canyon and they were gone. We hadn’t seen hardly anybody out there, which was a sharp contrast to the first weekend where there were hunters every 1/4 mile or so. Soon, we heard someone in that direction shooting, and shooting, and shooting some more. I think they took like 8 or 10 shots before it went quiet. Either they totally missed or they were trying to make hamburger while the animal was still alive. So we were kicking ourselves for sending the animals right into the only other hunter on the mountain. So we go back to camp feeling pretty defeated, and awfully hungry. We ate and went to bed without really making a plan for the morning. There is something about the last day of the hunt, after 2 weeks of getting up early and not finding anything you can even try to shoot at, that tends to leave you… less than motivated. To make matters worse, the alarm clock (the one that sounds like a jack hammer right next to your head and no one can possibly sleep through) decides it doesn’t like its job anymore and takes an unannounced trip to Tahiti or something. So we wake up late, fortunately it wasn’t noon or anything. We throw the saddles on the horses, grab our guns and orange and we’re off. Again we saw the same bull in the same place but just kinda kept riding. We didn’t really have a plan, or even a rough idea of where we wanted to go. So we decided to go back into the same area we were in last night in hopes that they were dumb enough to head back there. We tried a couple of sneaks through the trees, and didn’t see anything, and i mean ANYTHING. This was a pretty bad omen because we’d at least seen deer or birds or the occasional chipmunk before, but this time there was nothing. I started thinking about what my cousin had previously said about seeing a big black bear up in that area a few weeks earlier and wondering if that was the reason there was nothing around. So we kept plugging along, like you’re supposed to do when it’s the last day so you can at least say that you tried your best. We decide to get off the horses and walk through one last area before heading back for breakfast and packing up. As I get into a clearing, I notice there are sounds coming from across the canyon. (the kinds of sounds that only larger animals can make when their being careless about their foot placement). I heard Luke mentioning that he saw some deer over there so I didn’t think too much of it. However, being that we’ll be up there next weekend looking for deer, I decided to look and see if I could find any horns. I didn’t see a single deer. I did, however, see a cow Elk headed up the hill directly towards my dad’s position. So I hop on the radio and tell them that I have Elk spotted and that dad should get into a good position to see animals running near him, and Luke should head into the area I’m in so he can help me look at the Elk. They were in some thick Quakies (or Quaking Aspens to those of you who don’t know the lingo, a.k.a. Oaties if you’re Nikki and confuse them with Quaker Oats) and beneath the trees was about 4 feet of undergrowth crap that was pretty thick too. It took a while for me to see that there was an entire herd there instead of just the one cow. Soon they were milling around on the hillside and I could see them a bit better through some openings in the cover. With perfectly stable hands and my breathing totally under control I start identifying each animal and eliminating it from the shootable category. Without warning, I see one of them pick up its head and notice it has horns. Not only did it have horns but they weren’t very big. The vague hint of a possibility that it could be a spike begins breathing again after having died from lack of stimulation over the last week. Then reality sets in and stifles that hint back into its grave. I’m thinking to myself “No way, it’s got to have more than that. I can’t possibly be that lucky on the last day of the hunt”. So I start concentrating on it a little more, wanting to prove it wrong so I can move on to the others that I haven’t looked at yet. With my hands totally steady, breathing still under control, I look intently across the canyon at this animals head. As it eats, lifts its head repeatedly, takes a step, and goes back to eating again, it hits me that it is unmistakably a spike. For those of you who have never had “Buck fever” I’ll describe it to you now. When you were once calm and collected, you are now shaky, breathing hard and your heart is pounding. None of these are desirable when attempting to make something the diameter of a pencil fly 250 yards (750 feet) and hit an area the size of a volleyball. After a moment of this panic, I think to myself “What am I doing? It’s only a spike and I have made hundreds of shots just like this! Just calm down and take the shot”. So I get control of my breathing, heart rate, steady my hands and settle in for the shot that’ll be heard around the… canyon. So I place the shot right where I need it to be and start to squeeze… BANG! And nothing. None of them budge. BANG! Still he just stands there. BANG! I can’t believe they aren’t spooked. BANG! Ok now I need to reload and they are starting to head up the hill a bit. So I throw 2 more rounds in my gun and pull up to see if he’s dropped yet. Nope BANG! This time he takes a few steps forward and lays down. COOL! He’s down and I’ve just got to wait a minute and he’ll loose consciousness, then we’re in business. The rest of the herd is just standing there not knowing where the shots were coming from and not knowing which way to run. Then the spike stands back up, and I’m thinking to myself “No freaking way! I can’t possibly be missing this many times!” BANG! This time he drops like a rock and the herd bolts. After the dust settles and the herd is out of sight, I tell Luke where he was and have him guide me over there by radio because it’s thick enough that if you’re not within 15 feet or so, you’ll never see it. So I get to it and start field dressing the animal taking note of the fact that it looked like there was only one visible entrance wound. Upon seeing that I start questioning my shooting, the yardage I estimated, and all kinds of factors that would have led to me missing 5 out of the 6 shots. As I clean out the inside of the animal, I can see much more clearly what had happened. There were at least 4 separate exit wounds and at least 3 distinct entrance wounds. Turns out I’d only missed once, and the rest had gone right where they needed to go. The vitals were pulverized, and I have no idea how he managed to withstand that many direct hits and keep on walking. This was the first Elk I have shot at with the Barnes X bullet and I am not impressed at all. I have killed several others with 2 shots or less using the Nosler ballistic tips, and I am considering switching back based on this experience. Barnes has one last chance to redeem them selves on the deer hunt.

As Promised...

2006-10-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

Bud Light presents, Real Men of Genius. 'reeeeaal meeen of geeeeeeeeeeniuuuuuuuus' Today we salute you Mr. Ultra Geeky Programmer Gamer Guy. 'Mister Ultra Geeky Programmer Gaaaaaaamer Guy!' You are the King of the camping whores, Ruler of the Railgun, Wizard of WoW. With painstaking precision, you research every inside joke in the latest Weird Al music video, and ROFLMAO at their hidden meaning. ‘Who iiiiiiis MC Escher!?’ While the Noobs are caught up in PvP fighting, you drive them all into financial ruin by writing your own code to take advantage of them at the local auction house. Young boys and grown men alike watch in awe as you pass by sporting your “Know your roots” t-shirt and 4000GB Ipod full of music and video that you didn’t have to pay anything for. It’s just a pity the ladies don’t think the same way. One things for sure, you’ll never be seen asking The Company Computer Guy for help, in fact it’s the other way around. ‘You aaaaarrrreeeee tttteeeeehh suxors!!!’ So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Ultra Geeky Programmer Gamer Guy, because you know that the Internet really IS a series of tubes! 'Mister Ultra Geeky Programmer Gaaaaaaamer Guy!'

Porky will save me! Turns out he'd bagsied my right buttock!

2006-10-04T12:41:00.000-07:00

So it’s Monday again…. in a Wednesday kind of way. I am excited for HDR, as always, and am particularly happy because I haven’t got any chance of a random test springing up because they all were last week or the week before. Well the Elk hunt starts this weekend, and I’m feeling rushed as ever in preparing for it. It seems that no matter how much time you actually have it all comes down to the last few days. I’m not terribly enthused about hunting for spikes again. When it comes to meat I much prefer Cow elk to and Bull, and when it comes to antlers I am defiantly not excited about a spike. But it’s still hunting, which is something I really enjoy. I believe Nikki will be spending most of the hunt back in camp, which should greatly reduce her chances of sustaining another potentially life threatening injury. Since we’re down to only three horses now, I should have ample opportunity to work off the extra 15 lbs I’ve put on since starting school. I’m all for education but it had a few drawbacks. 1, no time for things you previously had time for. 2, little or no exercise opportunities due to less time. 3, other students and their inadequacy’s especially when a group environment is REQUIRED! *cough* >chem lab<. 4, test anxiety, something I suffer from to nearly an unhealthy degree. 5, professors that assume I am just another fresh out of high school student who has no experience in real world situations. 6, students that want to talk to me, walk near me, sit next to me, ask about my major, ask me what we SHOULD be doing because they were texting their friend or loved one while the directions were being explained, and the list goes on and on. It’s like High school all over again except that this time I am actually interested in learning stuff instead of just being there. But enough whining about something everyone already knows. If you haven’t looked at it already, Jeff’s site is coming along nicely. I created a user account on there and have begun to post a few little things on there. For instance my blurb about choosing a new password (http://www.arcanatower.com/?site=maximus_manimal). A cool interesting feature is that the Google advertisements at the bottom tend to change depending on what you’ve posted about. For instance someone posted about cell phones and it brought up advertisements about different typed of cell phones. I think I have confused the crap out of the thing because it’s reading really random stuff that has nothing to do with anything. I figure as long as I keep things general and not mention any specific topics, while continuing my typically random and nonsensical style of humor, it will eventually have a conniption fit and start recommending WebMD and link to Psychological health issues. That’s the goal anyway. Well, I knoe this one is short, but I’ve run out of things to say so I’ll see you all at that HDR in a few hours! Time for the Hump Day theme song! “The Hump Day dance is your chance to do the Hump, Frag me baby! Do the Hump Day Hump, Do the Hump Day Hump……”

If I'm a child that means you're a pedofile!

2006-09-26T11:22:00.000-07:00

Yes it’s time for another installment of one crazy man’s rant. So last week was a bit busy because of a Chemistry test I had coming up. So Tuesday was studying the whole night, Wednesday was HDR, Thursday was more studying and Friday morning was the actual test. I tend to be the type of person that gets a bit of test anxiety and no matter how much I study and prepare for the exam, I never feel quite ready for it. However, the time came and I had to prove my mettle in written form. Fortunately for me, chemistry is pretty easy. I won’t gloat about my score but I did do acceptably well. At this point you may be wondering why I told you this, right? I mean who cares, everyone has tests that they take and people often do well on them. Well, while I was in the testing center I had to remove my shoes and allow my feet to dry. The rain, and at some times snow, we’ve gotten over the past few days combined with UVSC’s watering policy of growing their lawn in a lake, left a bit of standing water about campus. It was only now that I discovered that I have worn a hole in the bottom of my shoes and they are now wet enough that when I walk I hear squishy sounds (and not the cute kind either). So, normally this would be smelling up the place, but the abundance of moisture kept the smell to a bare minimum (HA! get it? bare… feet … oh the laughagement. I KILL ME!!). After my test it was time to go to work where I spent most of the day bare foot as well and then went home. So it’s time to buy shoes. I hate buying shoes. Not because I don’t enjoy new shoes or because I don’t like shopping (I quite enjoy it when it’s for the right things like weapons, explosives or bread) nor because I am a man. I hate shopping for shoes because I have ZERO choices (unless you count not buying shoes a choice). True that most shoe stores have started carrying sizes up to 14, however if you don’t have feet in those ranges you probably haven’t taken the time to look at the available styles. Couple that with the fact that the only reason I buy size 13 shoes is because of the abnormal width of my feet. In fact they are wide enough that I require at least 13 Wide, although my true size is somewhere around a 12 Triple Wide. So we walk into Payless for the second time (don’t ask) and pull every single pair of 13W shoes they have, which totaled 9 pairs. After eliminating 3 off the top because of their looks, I was down to 6. Basically I ended up just choosing two pairs because none of them were what I was looking for to replace the pair I had worn out. Anyway, that’s my trauma with shoe shopping. I think men enjoy shopping for things like shoes and clothes if stores would cater to them like they do to women. That’s why gay guys like shopping so much, because they wear women’s clothing. So on with the blog. As many of you are aware I have been working on one of our large machines because a power surge violated the integrity of our automated system. As I have been going through the whole system and replacing things that went *poof*, I have noticed a few gripes with the data collection and automation system as a whole. So I mentioned some of my observation in yesterday’s meeting and it was agreed that these problems were a little more than minor. So I was told to look into it and present hat it would take to remedy these problems so we can get them fixed. This morning I made my presentation and recommended that we not only revamp the data transfer system but also automate the collection systems as well. I calculated that this’ll save the testing department about 2 hours per week per person and significantly reduce the amount of human error we face. After presenting it I was chosen to spear head the process and oversee everything to make sure it gets done to the satisfaction of all those involved. Bottom line, I feel smart. Ok, enough of my self-validation.

It's a Goth Rock Speed Metal fusion of ..... lemony... goodness!

2006-09-20T13:59:00.000-07:00

Well the antelope hunt is basically over now and we were able to fill 7 out of the 8 tags. Not too shabby for 2 days worth of hunting. All in all it was a pretty fun trip with no major unexpected trips to the ER. The weather was wet and cold so naturally I took advantage of the conditions to coat my truck with a nice thick layer of gooey sticky mud. We even got snow on Saturday morning, but it was gone by about noon and made more mud. After we got back the week started and now it’s half over while I’m left sitting here dazed and confused. So it’s Wednesday and I’m supposed to be having my Chemistry Lab today, and they actually have the Lab back together enough to hold class in there now. Anyway it’s supposed to start at 8 and go until 11. So I wake up early so I can make sure to be there for the first BIG day in Chem Lab, and get there at like 7:57. As I walk into the hallway where the class is, I note the unusually high concentration of waiting students. That’s ok, I’m a bit early so he’s got a few minutes to get here. Slowly the time ticks bye and people are getting more and more displeased with waiting in the hallway (me in particular). Soon, “Dude Man” (I use this in place of student because he’d been playing the cool kid in his Marilyn Manson t-shirt and iPod and had appointed himself as the spokesman for the group. Thus he shall be known as Dude Man) stands up and decides he’s going to do something about the situation, and trot’s off to the student center or something to alert some undoubtedly apathetic appendage of the administration of our plight. After returning he makes his report to the group that they had called him and he was on his way and expected within 30 minutes. Meanwhile, I am wearing a pretty nice line in the carpet from pacing back and forth in the same spot because I am too uncomfortable in this group of would be humans to join them in sitting on the floor. At about 9:15 I came to the conclusion that the teacher much be LDS because it’d been 45 minutes since he said “within 30 minutes” and we were still waiting. At 9:25 I see an older gentleman walking across the rain soaked lawn toward the building entrance, who’d just climbed out of bed judging by his hair. He walked in and didn’t say anything as he weaved his way through the sea of bodies strewn about the floor. As he approached the door to our prospective classroom many of the bodies perked up like a dog that hears you getting into their treat bag. FINALLY!!! After 90 minutes of pacing in the hall the teacher had arrived. An awkward silence dominated the filling lab room. I guess the heat got to him because he soon piped up saying “I haven’t really got any good excuse for being late, I just forgot”. FORGOT!? Whatever. At this point I was just bored and wanted something to do so I started reading the stack of papers we’d received. Curiously enough, the stack didn’t contain a syllabus. I later discovered the reason to be that he didn’t have any and that we’d hopefully get them next week. You may be thinking that the story is basically over here but it gets better. The ironic part of it is that this was supposed to be the “Safety Lab”. There had been a rather menacing note on the door of the would be classroom the week prior stating that attendance to this safety lab was mandatory and that anyone who failed to attend would be administratively withdrawn from the course. However, as you can imagine, many had grown impatient and had drifted off and not returned while waiting for “Captain Eyeballs-are-good” (I call him this because while we were going through the safety procedures he shared several stories about why you should always wear safety glasses in the lab and that chemicals can be dangerous when you’re an idiot, however I wasn’t paying a great deal of attention and all I heard was “Eye balls are good” about 7 times). Anyway, he took role and made several statements about the students who weren’t there being dropped from the program. I couldn’t help but think of all the times I’d wanted to leave and go to work but stayed. So because he is an irresponsible fool, the students have to suffer. Fortunately for me, I had more patience than normal this morning and was able to stay there and wear a nice long hole in the carpet. Nonetheless, it looks like it should be a pretty easy class and basically a guaranteed A. As for the UN conference yesterday, all I have to say is this. Hugo Chavez of Venezuela is like the moronic cowardly bully in elementary school who graduated the second grade by blackmailing the teacher and can’t think of anything really important to say, or do, so just sits there making fun of people when his turn comes on the microphone. President Bush did basically the same thing to Iran. Iran did the same thing to us. Blah Blah Blah. It was all one big name calling fest and nothing was really accomplished. Honestly, what will the world be like when Iran, Egypt, Syria, and various other eastern powers have nuclear capabilities? They get used for really stupid reasons, everyone over there dies and the fallout reaches halfway across the world to ME and I loose my perfect hair, grow a Uterus and have a baby with no head! My point is that we (and by we I mean every country in the freaking world) seem to have leaders that don’t represent the views of the masses, pursue their own agenda’s and violate their positions. This is my plug for everyone to get out and vote this November. If you don’t know who to vote for or don’t like any of the candidates on the ballot, just pencil in my name and we’ll all have a good laugh.

The Library is full of them!! Librarians?

2006-09-11T12:07:00.000-07:00

I know it’s a bit of a cliché but I am feeling particularly patriotic today. I shouldn’t have to remind anyone what day it is, and if I do you need to go ponder why you live in this country. As I drove to work this morning I couldn’t help but notice that there were several flags poking up around the valley that were visible from the freeway. In fact there were only a few small spots where I couldn’t see a flag from my vantage point. I don’t know if they were there because of the day or if I just hadn’t noticed them before. One thing is certain, there are few things as powerful as our flag waving gently in the crisp fall morning breeze. So it would seem to be Monday again, and here we all are back at work and school, the weekend having passed by like a bullet. Lately I have been observing children more closely in an attempt to begin preparation for having to deal with one on a more consistent basis. Just like their older counterparts, they do stupid things almost constantly. In fact, the only difference seems to be the severity of the screw up and the fact that children have an excuse. My argument of children being sticky was reinforced yesterday at church where a young girl wandering around happened to briefly touch my pant leg and left a small hand’s worth of squished banana type substance. The cold hard truth is sinking in that I’ll someday be responsible for someone’s pants being dirty. I stopped at my chemistry lab earlier today to see what the story was for Wednesday and it seems that it’ll be yet another week until I they are ready for us to be in there. At this point one begins to ask questions about how much of the material we’ll be skipping or if they just intend on bending us over the newly finished and quite lovely countertops. Either way it’ll be something to talk about I guess. So about the French. I don’t claim to be any type of linguist but it seems to me that if you’re going to bother putting letters in a word you should probably pronounce them. Otherwise you’re just wasting time… and potentially useful syllables. The Antelope hunt started this weekend and we’ll be heading out Friday morning to kill a few, and by a few I mean 7. Hopefully I’ll come back with all kinds of fun stories about how Nikki got her animal and didn’t get hurt and we got mud all over my truck. So until then, have a happy week!

And now for a Rebuttal.... Te hee!

2006-09-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

With proper recognition to the Radio from Hell show on X96 for coming up with the idea, I have decided to form my own list of things that must go. For those of you who DON’T listen to Radio from Hell, this portion is where they elaborate on things that the world would be a better place without. However, I feel I have a few advantages over those on the radio in that I can say what ever I want and not get into trouble. If you don’t want to hear me rant on about something I dislike then this is where you leave and go checkout Penny Arcade or CtrlAltDel or any of the other funny links I have on the right hand side of my Blog. Thus we continue with ‘My List of Things That Must Go’!

#1 School spirit – Now that fall semester has started and I am back in school, I have noted the number of people filling the halls. I’m not talking about just wearing a T-shirt or a Wolverines wrist band or something stupid like that. (as if getting raped by tuition wasn’t enough, these people indulge in an encore shopping spree at the bookstore) I’m talking about the aggressive, screaming, face painting, lonely, mascot wannabe’s that attempt to consume others in their freaky fanatical left wing cluster screw. What is the point? “I’m a Wolverine”, no you’re a MORON! It’s bad enough to have to watch these people struggle through life expecting things to be like high school, but to have them attempt to drag me into it is unbearable. I’d rather you just call me retarded and kick me in the butt.

#2 Middle Eastern countries – I know it’s tough to actually THINK but let’s give it a go and see what happens. You have been fighting with anyone throughout recorded history about the dumbest things imaginable, and the only thing you’ve (you meaning ALL OF YOU!) accomplished is to kill uncountable numbers of people, primarily innocent I’m sure, leave every country in the region extremely poor and unstable, and shift the border a lousy ten miles only to have it move back a few years later. I hear about a lot of countries from that region saying that the US should leave and not come back. I’d agree, and I believe that we tried that a few years ago. The problem was that when we left you all alone, you came to us and really screwed up. It may not have been the views of your religious group to come over here and kill innocent Americans, but you stood there and allowed it to happen which is clearly an indication that you can’t control your own FREAKING country! Therefore, we’ll pick up the slack and come control it for you. We didn’t want to go over there and find the vermin of the earth, but if we don’t then more people are going to die. To quote Patton “No one has ever won a war by dying for his country ... You make the other poor bastard die for his country!” It seems most see that the US has done a very good job of pissing off the Middle East, but I prefer to look at it like the Middle East has done a very good job of pissing off America. At least we don’t intentionally attack civilians, you murderous wastes of potential.

#3 Stupid Neighbors with Stupider cats – If it is against the law for me to let my dogs run free (because you’re a lawyer and can recite this to me) because they might chase your cats, then it is (or should be) illegal to allow your cats to run free and be accessible to my dogs. Furthermore, my dogs don’t walk on your clean car and scratch the finish. If they are both loose, and yours is weaker YOU LOOSE! When you get tired of loosing, buy a bear and I’ll keep my dogs at home.

#4 Racists – I know that this is sort of a given, but I feel it needs to be mentioned. Just like Treason is a matter of dates, racism is about who stole the land first. Technically “America” has no official race. Although the numbers might show whites to be a slight majority, it is called the melting pot for a reason. If you still hold on to these views, you just end up looking unintelligent and worthy of a free stay in the Utah County Animal Shelter (For those of you who don’t know, that means you’ll be euthanized, by accident of course. Search for recent news storied involving the shelter for more details.) I don’t care what race you are, I’ll find someone of a different race that is better at something that you are.

#5 Polygamy – It is illegal. In an effort to keep myself sleeping in a BED I’ll say this… gently. One wife is enough. How can you expect to be a responsible father/husband to more than one and what if they gang up on you? You can defend against one women (I’d know) when they travel in packs it’s time to run my friend!

#6 Jokes about Microsoft – They’re unnecessary, just sit back and watch.

#7 Teenagers – The girls should be locked away from ages 12 to 19 and taught that they in fact CAN’T sing or dance and the boys should be locked away and taught that no one wants to see any part of them or hear them. Furthermore, if you cannot pass a GED exam or graduate from high school by the end of your teens (yes that means an extra year genius) you’ll be staying next to Mr. Racist in the animal shelter awaiting a dirt nap.

#8 Car wars – It doesn’t matter what you THINK is a good car or truck (Ford, Chevy, Dodge, Domestic or Foreign) unless you’ve built it yourself. Stock is still stock and will not hold up if I’m driving it so it’s crap anyway. In my opinion the only difference between them is what you have to start with when you build it.

#9 Empty threats – It doesn’t do any good to alert your enemy that you’ll be stabbing them in the face while they sleep. You’re just subjecting yourself to an empty can booby trap or a shotgun surprise. Just tell them that they should say their goodbye’s and tie up loose ends with friends and family members. That’s all the threat that you need to be courteous when you have your revenge.

and #10 Mosquito’s – Honestly, if we leave the Gnat’s alone and kill every mosquito on the planet, what is the worst that could happen? There is no species on the planet that relies on mosquito’s so heavily that it couldn’t do without. I say it’s time for some genetic warfare. We’ll breed the little pointy straws out of them and they’ll all starve to death. Or it’ll go horribly wrong because the ‘lowest common denominator’ will be in charge of implementing the perfect plan and will screw it up somehow and make them ten times bigger, super sonic and terminally angry.

Dreams of a gamers Linux...

2006-08-28T14:28:00.000-07:00

So it’s Monday again, and I don’t recall there being a weekend. Then again I spent Saturday moving all of my garage crap over to our house and Sunday working on my crawler. So I guess the weekend happened, it was just more work that the week usually is. Well my front axle is officially mounted. I hadn’t expected it to go that smoothly but it’d there. Also, next time we have a shin-dig over at my place you’re all hereby recruited to help me lift something. It should only take about 5 minutes and if we can get 4 people it’ll be pretty easy. The antelope hunt is drawing near, and the cooler temperatures are giving me the itch to get out and kill something. Nikki will be hunting this year too, and I look forward to helping her bag her first big game animal. I took her out shooting the other day to make sure she was comfortable with the gun she’d be using and she did pretty well. I think she’ll be fine and I hope she’s excited. Well as many of you know, my RAID setup in my computer bit the big one last HDR. Indeed it was one of the hard drives, so my whole system was toasted. I have all of my Red Dwarf and other videos on a separate hard drive and I hope I can get access to that drive once I am set back up. O ordered another drive (this time it’s a Western Digital) and according to the UPS tracking number it should be on my front porch when I get home. So I should be able to attend the next HDR with a running machine. I have an official recommendation for the next stupid movie night. Nikki and I sat down and watched it last night and it is absolutely perfect for the occasion. The 1960’s version of Batman, complete with trained explosive sharks, ball point bananas and villains that are scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of evil plots. I wouldn’t put it in the same category of The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, but I think it’d be great to heckle. Since school has started up again, I find myself running back and forth between class and work everyday. Chemistry is kind of boring so far in that we’re covering things that people of the age of the attending students should’ve known for years. I am sure it’s a nice refresher to cover some of this (a refresher of 4^th grade) but common sense has got to be a part of peoples lives. I think the first class you take in college should be Common sense 101, where you “refresh” how to tie your shoes and make it to the bathroom on time! Seriously, we’re talking basics stuff here. Anyway, Calculus is moving kind of slow as well, although we’re actually covering decent material. I think my basis of comparison may be a bit skewed though because the only other class I have taken on campus was my summer block Trigonometry/Chinese class. The third class I am taking this semester is Psychology. This class is just a joke so far. It’s an online class, and the web site is a complete mess. There are no explanations about what the assignments are or how you’re supposed to complete them. In the discussion board there are endless comments from confused students wondering what they should be doing. From what I have gathered, the first assignment is supposed be a short essay that introduces you to the teacher so they can “get to know you”. Personally I doubt that they even read these, but see that you did it and give you a grade based on the title of the paper. (example grading scale: -20% for using the word “introduction” in the title, +20% for sexual innuendo in the title, -20% for putting your name in the title and -20% more for being male or having a name that SHOULD be a man’s name, -40% for spelling out numbers in the title, full credit for not having a title or having a title that reads “Why I love psychology!”, etc) I’m not impressed so far. But I trudge on none the less. Here’s a good idea, lets see what is happening in the world that is important enough in the world to be reported to the masses. Hmm, well it appears a woman’s car was crashed while she was giving her dog driving lessons in china. (http://www.ksl.com/?nid=333&sid=452351) That’s worthy of my time to read! It seems Finland had the right idea about cell phones when they held a competition to see who could throw their phone the farthest. The winner made it out to 292 feet. Not bad. (http://www.ksl.com/?nid=333&sid=452341) And despite the heavenly object still existing, people are freaking out about Pluto being classified as anything other than a planet. Does it matter? Will any of us ever set foot on that planet... oidish... thingy? NO!!! What else? Looks like a bunch of useless nonsense like “La-Z-Boy Aims to Return to Profitability”. Well that would be good wouldn’t it? Just imagine a company that makes money. It’s really sad when all they can find to report on is the health status of a pair of congested kittens. Isn’t there a war going on in Iraq and Afghanistan? How about this? “Woman gives birth to a healthy baby… girl? The woman, Erika Nelson, gave birth today August 28^th 2006 after being… pregnant? Well anyway, Congratulations Drew and Erika!!!

Mothers and flowers and sunshine and children...

2006-08-23T13:02:00.000-07:00

Well it’s Wednesday ( he he, happy hump day) and I was supposed to start school this morning. So I go two-steppin’ (I used this instead of beboppin’) in to the chemistry department and find my class, when I realize that the whole floor is covered in construction equipment (Why it took me that long to realize it, I have no explanation. Suffice it to say that I don’t like mornings). After walking into class and expecting to be greeted by the smiling (or grinning, depending on how you look at it) face of my new professor, I note that I am the only one standing in the chemistry lab. As I exited the room I noticed a bright pink paper attached to the door (Again I haven’t got any good excuses for having not noticed it before) which elaborates on the details of the constriction project and its expected completion date in the middle of September. So I left. I DO have to go back in the afternoon though for Calculus, but I should be able to make it to HDR tonight. Due to a crammed schedule, the hunts being so close and a few other reasons, the camping trip will most likely not take place. As a suitable substitute I thought we might have a LAN party sometime in the next month or two and do some “camping” that way. This can either take place at my house or at some other location, what ever anyone feels like. If y’all don’t feel like it then maybe I’ll play alone one of these days and camp by myself. As always, I’ve been on the lookout for interesting things that might make a good “snippet” in the “plange” that is my Blog. However, more often than not, lately when I observe people, places, and general happenings in the world around me, I become… emotional. I know what some of you may be thinking. “Has he gone soft?” or “I didn’t think he had feelings.” or maybe “Where is my Van Halen T-shirt?” but the fact remains that my observations tend to invoke feelings. Are these the kinds of feelings that inspire men to write timeless songs about beauty and divine grace? No. They are more of the feelings that inspire men to jump off buildings without regard to their height and the consequences that may follow (very shortly mind you) from this decision. Yes I become angry. It seems that there are infinite ways in which people can manifest their stupidity and general lack of consideration for others and themselves. In short, it seems more than a few people are still running a 386. This is normally where I’d launch into some boring and long winded condemnation of the things I’ve seen, but not today. Instead I’d like to talk to you about bread. Bread? Yea, bread. You see, no matter what goes on in the world around you or how frustrated you become there is always one friend you can count on, and that friend is bread. It comes in more shapes, sizes and varieties than one can imagine and hasn’t changed significantly in the last 5000 years or so. Just think of it. It’s light and fluffy (Unless it’s not, then it isn’t), and goes with anything. It is the perfect place for jelly to lay, and when mated with peanut butter it becomes lunch. (it may concern some of you that I used the words mated and lunch in the same sentence, and that’s fine) Bread is a blend of stoichiometry, semi-micro biology, and physics. Bread can defy the weak forces of gravity, and even has the power to manipulate the fabric of space and time in your bowels. Yes bread is a wonderful thing. Something else that’s neat is bug killer, it’s my friend too. I have been committing genocide around the house in an effort to establish myself as the dominant species in my own little corner of the word. As many of you know, I have been building a Rock Crawler for about the past year. It’s by no means complete but I did pass a massive milestone recently. I’ve been on the lookout for a Flat Bed trailer to carry said crawler when it is complete, and I came across one just the other day. I have also been doing research on the type of front axle I wanted to use. All information I could find was pointing me to one known as the Dana 60. That’s fine so get one, right? Well, if money isn’t an issue in YOUR life then yes. Currently they are going for about $1000 for one that needs to be rebuilt and up to $3500 for one that has been rebuilt and has a locker. Mind you this is just for one axle. So I had put the hopes of obtaining one on the back burner for a while and started planning other things to work on. Anyway, as I went to look at this trailer I mentioned, I noticed a Dodge truck in the corner that was looking pretty dilapidated and ignored. After about 3 more steps I remembered that in my research I had read that the Dodge 1 ton trucks typically had Dana 60 front ends. Well my curiosity got the best of me so I bent down to take a look and indeed it was. I was excited but disappointed at the same time, because I knew he’d want a lot of money for it. So I asked if the guy wanted to get rid of the axles and he said that I could have both for $1500. Originally I thought he meant both axles, which is about market price and I don’t have the money. Then he clarified that both meant the truck and the trailer, which he was asking $800 for. We talked a bit more and came to the agreement that I could have both axles and the trailer for $1100, which breaks out to roughly $800 for the trailer (fair), $200 for the Dana 60 (WAY discounted) and $100 for the rear which has turned out to be a Dana 70 (worth about $400 and it’s currently listed on KSL). Long story short (too late) I get a really cool and expensive axle for basically nothing. So I am happy, and I’m eating Bread so I am more happiester. YAY!!!

Lets take things a step further...

2006-08-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

I have a proposition. In light of the over reaction of lawmakers to the game “Bully” (see a trailer here: http://media.ps2.ign.com/media/746/746536/vids_1.html ) where the objective is to beat up bully’s in a new school, I have come up with my OWN idea for a game. For those of you who have respect for our senators, congressmen, governor, and other elected representatives, please tune out now and go have a serious think about why you’re allowing yourself to be an idiot. The game is based around our wonderful political system. It will somewhat resemble the SIM games, but with a more first person approach. The objective is to compete for political offices and get them… no matter the cost. You’ll start out as a lowly citizen with very little money and no experience. As you advance through certain “quests” you’ll gain XP and be able to compete for entry level positions on town councils. While there you’ll forge important relationships that you can take advantage of later in the game. In the early stages of the game you need to be careful, angering already elected officials is a bad idea and may cost you popularity points. All thru out the game you’ll need massive amounts of money for various things. You’ll find that one of the easiest ways to gain funds for your thriving political machine, is to extort it and launder it through several charities and foundations that are set up in a manner to appear legal. Other methods include siphoning money off of your own or friends businesses, and having been a celebrity in the past (this game will allow characters to transfer their fame from games like DDR, Karaoke Revolution, Unreal Tournament, Rainbow Six, Worms Armageddon, Mine Sweeper and Spider Solitaire). When you feel you’re ready, you can compete for Mayor. If you feel you just can’t wait until election time, you could oust the old looser in a number of ways. These range from simple slander of his/her name up to hiring a hit man to “take care of business”. These same tactics will come in handy in many stages of the game. Once you’ve won the Mayoral election, it’s time to start thinking big. From this point you can slowly advance your political career through small stepping stones or shoot straight for governor, senator, congressman, or even presidency. They key to survival is to get a lot of friends who have a lot of friends (preferably who are rich and stupid) and make a lot of promises that the “voters” want to hear (i.e. lower taxes, cop on every corner, cracking down on crime, free chocolate, and don’t forget licking babies, etc). These investors will expect something in return, so you can choose how to reward them in any way you see fit (position in the white house or a nice shiny pair of concrete loafers). Once you’ve clawed and fought your way into the presidency, it’s time to keep it by any means deemed necessary. Various ways of doing this may include but are defiantly not limited to: starting a war, becoming everyone’s best friend, making good on your promises (which you never really intended to do in the first place, and may raise your popularity to dangerously high levels), destroying foreign relations only to build them back up, and any other way you can think of. The game will feature a variety of challenges to make it a new experience every time. For instance, there will be an “adult” portion of the game where you can have your very own sex scandal, there may be terrorist activities that need to be dealt with, past friends or co-workers that will try to expose your shady background that need to disappear or be paid off, and many other things which will distract you from sneaking furniture out of the white house. The game will display a “Public Opinionometer” which will display your popularity. When this falls below 50% you know you’re a bona fide politician. When elections come around it’s time to win a second term. Remember, it doesn’t matter what the “voters” think of you just as long as it’s ever so slightly better than what they think of your opponent(s). This is where it’s time to dig up some dirt on them, but remember that they’ll be doing the same on you. Discredit them in debates with confusing statements like “the only thing my opponent has been consistent on is being inconsistent”. Remember the “voters” are like cattle, they’re unintelligent and tend to stay in groups. If possible, purchase your opponents supporters and/or companies or bankrupt them to pull the funding from underneath them. The game has no rules, and will allow you to do almost anything at any time, so take advantage of it. There will be multi player and online versions available as well so you can play with other aspiring jackasses. The release date is TBA, but trailers will be coming soon!

So you think you're evil, eh?

2006-08-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

Well it’s August now, and I’m feeling a whole new maturity about myself. I can hardly remember the last time I tried to urinate on someone from the top of ‘D’ deck…. no wait it was last Thursday. But other than that one lapse, maturity wise I am practically up there with Abe Lincoln and Moses. So by Wednesday, I should be done with all of my classes for this semester and have 2 weeks before the next ones start. Nikki and I have been talking about doing a camping trip with everyone, but pinning down a date seems to be getting harder and harder. We were thinking of going somewhere close that everyone could just pop up to at their convenience, but I am having trouble finding a nice place that fits that is close. I suppose we could go up to Hope campground in Provo canyon but I think it is a pay site and all that annoying stuff. Anyone who is still interested in coming should include in their obligatory post what dates would work for them. So the antelope hunt starts in about 4 weeks, and Nikki will actually get to hunt this year. I think it’ll be pretty cool, I just hope she is excited as I am. Well, having seen you all recently I am a little bit out of ideas to write about. This, unfortunately, is when I am prone to developing things which make others look at me funny. But worry not kids, I’ll come up with something mildly amusing or die trying. Or try dying, or do some TY DYING!! (This is where I insert small talk to get things going, so hang on for a minute) The other day I read a thing on KSL about bedbugs making a come back across the US. I didn’t know they were real! I always thought it was some stupid thing you said when telling someone goodnight. Apparently they are a very real little bug that is kind of a cross between a tick and a mosquito. Having never seen one, it has already made my list of “Things That Must Die!” right along with hornets, although not surpassing. This list tends to change in size depending on my mood. It is supplemented by my list of “Ways to Kill Things!” which is constantly growing longer and more creative as I learn more about being a super villain. Speaking of which, being on the road to super villain-ness, in an “I can’t play the organ and I am not gay” kind of very masculine way, has had its share of observations. (I just realized that that whole conversation was just between Chris and I, so allow me to elaborate a little. I made an observation that many of the super villains of old were buff and could all play the organ. Anyway long story short, super villains are no longer creative in their “evil” plots and are becoming more gay as time goes on. It’s like I told Chris, “Next thing you know, someone’s ‘evil’ plot will consist of a terribly over complicated scheme to break Martha Stewart out of prison in hopes that she’ll name a line of kitchen gadgets after you!” this is the pinnacle of gay super villain plots) Observation #1: I am NOT gay. #2, I cannot play the organ. #3, I am far more creative than many of the super villains out there today. Take your average bad guy from any movie, for fun lets say Dr. Octopus from Spiderman 2. He was more of an accident than anything as he didn’t intend to become evil. He’s more of a genius that screwed up. Furthermore, what was his big plan? I forget…. BUT that just goes to show you how lame it was. A REAL bad guy plan is one that people talk about for years and years! So that brings us to #4, accidents don’t count. When the creation becomes smarter and stronger than the creator, it’s no longer ‘Artificial’ Intelligence. #5, Bad guys, though they may be gay (but not me!), tend to have really cool hideouts. Some of them are SO cool that they can’t even be considered a hideout, because you can’t help but notice it. Exceptions to this rule include: Skeletor. I mean come on, a giant skull? Sounds to me like someone is trying a little too hard to convince everyone that “they can be evil too, dang-it”. The Decepticons. A desert fortress that when viewed from above looks like a boobie? Nothing strikes fear in the heart of the enemy like a giant breast! And while we’re talking about how lame the Decepticons are, let’s talk about their ‘evil’ plot. Supposedly they came from some outer space-ness to rob the earth of energy. Am I the only one who realizes that the sun is spewing out immeasurable amounts of energy every second, and only the tiniest of tiny percentages is actually used by the planets in the solar system? It seems to me like driving to Las Vegas to eat an ant off the sidewalk even though there is a free all you can eat buffet about ten feet from you! And as far as plots, lets talk about Snidely Whiplash who's plot is to steal a beautiful woman only to tie her up and put her on a railroad track! Where did you get this idea? What is wrong with you? You don't get any money, fame, power, all you get is an angry moron of a canadian mountey that makes you look like a fool! Anyway, cool hideouts. #6, maniacal laugh. CHECK! I have been practicing my maniacal laugh and have gotten nearly as good as ‘the Master’, which is to say the professor from the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. #7, Name… I think this is where many villains fall short. A bad name tends to suggest how you’ll die. With a name like ‘Dark Man’ you’re most likely to loose your footing, fall off a roof and break you neck. How about something like the Green Lantern: Tips over and curiously bursts into flames. The Wicked Witch of the West: (again, trying too hard to be evil) The amazing Rando smashes her with Dorothy’s house! The Queen (from snow white and the seven dwarves, this is where indecisiveness meets deadline. You know she just couldn’t think of a name so everyone just started calling her ‘the queen’): Marries the hunchback of Notre Dame and has 3 beautiful children, which she can’t name either so everyone just calls them ‘the Prince/Princess’. There are exceptions to this rule too. Take for instance the Alien from the movie the Alien. Something that truly evil and frightening doesn’t need a name, except maybe ‘P.A.I.N.’ or something cool like that. These are some of the things I have absorbed through my endeavors to become a ‘true’ villain. I think part of the reason that some of the villains of late are total twonks is what they have to learn from. All of the ‘good’ villains are retires, having won their fortunes and schemes and living happily on some wicked cool island and worrying about whether they are getting enough fiber. With no teachers out there, aspiring villains are forced to result to the internet (a series of tubes) for guidance. According to http://www.boxofficecritic.com/bestofdetail.asp?id=26&pageno=1, the key ingredients to a super villain are “a great entrance…” and “a homicidal streak”. It also mentions that you don’t need to be “human… or real” to be a villain. With such guidance many would think that ANYONE can become an evil genius. It is my hope that when I achieve my greatness I’ll open up “The School for Aspiring Villains” somewhere off the coast of Madagascar. It’ll be a private school and will be funded by the stolen fortunes of Columbian drug lords. Should any of my friends want to attend, admission will be free of charge and I’ll waive the customary “Have you got what it takes to be a Super-Villain” entrance exam. Well I’ve got some drug lords to piss off, so I’ll see you later!

Good bye old friend!

2006-07-31T13:59:00.000-07:00

Well, I have some sad and somber news. Unfortunately, we had to put one of our horses down this morning. Yes the long lived Pepper has passed on. Not terribly surprising though as he was the human equivalent of like 104 years old. He was healthy right up to the end and acted like his usual self until yesterday evening. He began rolling constantly, a sign of colic which Arabians are particularly prone to and he’d had several cases of in the past, and was cold to the touch and shaking. Obviously he was in shock, he’d never been this bad before, so the vet was called right away. When the vet got there he performed a quick examination and said he was almost positive it was a twisted bowel that was about to rupture if it hadn’t already. Normally, a surgery could be performed and the problem remedied, but due to Pepper’s age he most likely would not survive the surgery. So the decision was made to dope him up and force about half of a gallon of vegetable oil through his system to see if it might untwist on it’s own with a little lubrication. At about 4 this morning as the pain killers began to wear off, it was obvious that he was not doing well. He continued to worsen until 6 when my sister decided that she didn’t want him to suffer and made the decision to have him put to sleep. I had a feeling he’d go out quickly but I’d always imagined that someone would be riding him down a trail at about 40 mph and he’d just keel over. It’s a substantial loss to the family, particularly Ashley, and he will be sorely missed and dearly remembered. To make matters worse, when Ashley got home from this whole fiasco she learned that her dogs had gotten out and one of them had been hit by a car. Fortunately, it was a relatively low speed impact and there was only some soft tissue damage and Toby should be fine. Needless to say, it has been a rough 24 hours. On a lighter note, Nikki and I are finally ready to host a house warming party, which we plan to do this coming weekend. We were planning on having a few different things going on. First, we had thought about having a LAN party going on if there will be enough people interested to facilitate it. Second, although all we have is our standard home entertainment system, we could to some movies (stupid or otherwise). Third, I think it would be cool to start a game of full contact croquet. Or we could all just sit around and talk about the good old days when we were young and stupid. I am also game for suggestions so feel free to make them. I will expect you all to post your thoughts about what you’d like to do, movies we could watch, games we could play, etc. If you fail to suggest something (even one little thing) your invitation will be revoked and you will be warded off with gun fire (or something like it, perhaps angry possums or Backstreet Boys music)! Again all are invited (at least until I read your comments) and I will supply the food but if some of you could bring things like drinks, dessert, chips or whatever. I was thinking I could make some pizza’s and breadsticks for everyone, although I will need a head count of who will be attending. For those of you including friends with two or more heads, if they share the same stomach then only count one of the heads. If we decide to do a LAN party, we discovered a new game type in UT04 last HDR and will most likely be punting each other across levels if we decide to play. Let me know what you all think and we’ll go from there. Sorry to be less than entertaining this time, but I’m feeling a little down. I’ll try to post again tomorrow. Until then…

The party will begin at 4:00 Saturday afternoon, and it's BYOD (and although I could let you all make endless silly comments as to the meaning of the acronym, I'll just tell you that it stands for drinks! Bring Your Own Drinks!! Not Dudes, Not Dorks, Not Dinks, Not Diplomats, Not Durigibles, Not Deodorant, Not Dairy, Not Dandruf, Not Death, Not Dictionary, Not Dinosaur, Not Droppings, Not Dr-other-stuff, Just Drinks! And if it's not too inconvenient, in a resealable container. If it's too much trouble then that's ok but we'd ask that you be careful.

Totals thus far:

Lan = 5

Movies = 4
(Lost Skeleton of Cadavra = 3)

Full contact Croquet = 4

Others (including: ?drawing 3 ant dragons?, ?car-be-smokey?, and poking dave!) = 1

Those attending: Nikki, Shawn, Dave, Chris, Mandy, Heather, Jeff...

My own little disco inferno here....

2006-07-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

So I says to myself, “Me, why you like killin’ bee’s so much” and then I reply with “Well, don’t rightly know, ‘ceptin’ I likes the smell they make and the way they wiggle when on fire!” Yes folks, I have discovered hornets around our house. However, due to their proximity TO said house I was not able to use my normal means of “flaming napalm death” to rid myself of these horrible little demons. Instead, I was compelled to purchase some of that “I’m afraid to get within 400 feet of the nest” spray killer for pansies. Well My Fair Lady is now officially over. Nikki and I were all happy because we had a 3 day weekend to enjoy our new found free time, but little did we know. Saturday we had to get up at 5am to take my parents up to the airport so they could go and vacationize them selves. After returning we decided that we wanted more sleep and that we were going to get it. We then woke up a second time and went on a horse ride which took the better part of the day. Then we went to the final performance and cruised on home for some more sleep. Sunday we went to our new Ward for the first time and, despite having been told that we’d be announced and asked to stand up thus creating the reason for us to go in the first place…(partially true), we remained anonymous. The few people that did greet us were friendly and what ever, but I’d still like to dwell un-noticed in the shadows for a while longer. After that it was time to work on unpacking some more. Then the day ended all too suddenly and we had done… some things (not THOSE things). Monday it was time to mow the lawn and various other yard related things ( he he bee killing) and then a quick trip to Wal-mart to pick up the few things which yet remained on our shopping list. 2 hours (and another $200) later, we immerge from Wal-mart and vow that we are not going to spend any more money on food and house stuff, although our food storage is nearly complete. We then decide to go take a ‘gander’ around the RC Willey clearance center and see if we could find a couch for our living room, or some other piece of furniture that we felt we needed to make our lives complete. We walked around in their climate un-controlled building for an hour or two, ate a crappy hot dog, sweated like pigs (which I don’t get because when we had pigs, they only sweated when it was hot…… just like people. So why can’t we just say “hey, I sweated a lot because it was quite warm” crazy animal hating bunch you are!) and then decided to leave. So we were on our way out (which is when most of the REAL shopping gets done. And by out I mean we were actually outside….in the heat…a lot of it) and saw a couch, a big couch, 4 big couch (I left this singular on purpose, because it was all one couch, yes it was outside). We looked at the tag and decided to sit on it. When I sat on it I hated it. This is probably because the surface temperature was around the neighborhood of say 120 Fahrenheit. But after I lost consciousness it felt pretty nice. So we look into it further and the tag only lists 3 of the 4 pieces, and there is clearly a fourth piece sitting just far enough away as to suggest that it was indeed SUPPOSED to be separate. However, this fourth piece did not have a price tag on it and the price tag for the main set had its serial number crossed through with pen. At this point, it occurred to me that if we wanted to find out what was going on, we’d have to talk to one of the sales associates (a.k.a. sub-middle management vultures). So we did, and she had to talk to her manager about every single question we asked her. Anyway, we wanted to know how much it would be for the whole set so that we could tell her that we weren’t going to pay that much. And indeed, when she told us (after talking to her manager of course) we told her we wouldn’t pay that much. We DID however tell how much we would pay, at which point she went and ok’d it with her manager. Then we suddenly bought a couch… a big couch…4 big couch. The problem with the couch, the big couch, 4 big couch, was that it is difficult to move from one location to another. Now I don’t know about you all out there in reader land, but when I think of difficult things to move I think of horses. And what do we use to move horses (besides firecrackers).. a trailer. So I get the horse trailer, and I had to clean the crap out of it (literally), and am able to wedge it nicely in the parking lot so that no one can get around me while I’m there (at this, I smile… “that is SO Arizona”). Fortunately, the dudes at RC Willey were in charge of covering it and putting it in the trailer. Once in there, the couch, the big couch, 4 big couch, took up the entire volume of the trailer. So we get it home, unload it and get it in the house. And by in the house I mean that it was all in the living room, not where it was going to reside. Besides our living room isn’t big enough to contain this couch, this big couch, 4 big couch. So we decided to break it up and leave half of it upstairs in the living room, and the rest of it down in the anti-theater (because it’s not a theater….yet), which is where it will all end up eventually. So we start to take the biggest piece down stairs, and it won’t fit. At this point I noticed that it appears to have a built in seam part way through it which looks like it may separate with a little…persuasion. Indeed I was right, and who ever built the couch was smart and provided a way to take bits of it off and make it possible to maneuver. So I separate it off, and we make another go. So close, but no. So we pack it back up the stairs again and take off another piece of it. This time it barely fits and we actually get it in the anti-theater where it gets reassembled and will live out the remainder of its life because I am NOT taking that thing back up the stairs. Thus we have a couch, a big couch, 4 big couch, for the theater and bits of it will function as a living room set until we feel rich and can get something for that purpose. Nikki and I will be trying to get our house a little more in order and we will hopefully be planning a house warming party for the first weekend in August. This is subject to change and I’ll keep you all posted. Until then, don’t die.

Rise of the unholy food storage!

2006-07-18T15:28:00.003-07:00

Only 4 more performances to go, and the people rejoice. See? See the people rejoicing? Right there, all reverently clapping their hands and the like. What lovely happy little people. Maybe a little old though. So nothing much has happened in the last week. We’ve been performing almost every night and when we’re not performing we’re still attempting to get the house set up. The table is finished…. Ba dum dum pish! HA! And it’s now back in the house. Um…. We have a few apricots that are about ready to be picked and consumed with much tastiness. The girls are all freaking out because they never get to see us. My car needs washing, and I could use a manicure! That’s about it. And since there is nothing interesting going on in REAL life, I am afraid that I may have to come up with something more interesting. Or if you’d rather I can ramble on about nothings and what-knots until you all die of acute cerebral hemorrhaging caused by a self inflicted screwdriver wound to the head. BUT, since I don’t want to have to go out and find new friends (too much work, besides everyone else is crap! YOU HEAR THAT? IF I DON’T LIKE YOU, YOU’RE CRAP!!) you’ll only be forced to sit through a mild ranting. For a lack of better subjects I’ll tell you all about the experimental trip Nikki and I made to Costco. We’ve been bombarded with offers to get a Costco card since we got married (and even a time or two before I think). Ah yes, the magnetic force of saving a few bucks on a 30 gallon jug of mayonnaise. Anyway, we decided to arrange a trip to Costco in secret (i.e. using someone else’s card) and check out the “Costco-topia” in an effort to fill our house with many scrumptious eatables. So it starts. We show up at about 6pm on Wednesday (yes last week now shut up and listen) and were fully expecting to spend about 2.5 hours and around $500. Being that it was going to take so long, we decided to start with the dry and canned goods (these are known as “non-perishables” to the home making and give-food-to-hungry-people crowds). So we grab a cart. 13 aisles later we grab another one. After we finish the “non-perishables”(what does that mean again?) my mom shows up (a.k.a the “inside” man….well woman). At that point we get a third cart (we also begin attracting attention). As we move in the direction of the produce and such, I begin wondering about the whole buying in bulk topic with “perishable” items. (“perishable” is sort of like “non-perishable” in that its not like “non-perishable”) Nikki and I can put down our fair share of veggies and froo-it, but a whole flat of nectarines is a little much. For the most part we decided to forego the produce in favor of getting smaller quantities elsewhere. After looking at the bread prices, and realizing we were going to have to go somewhere for produce anyway, we decided to work our way towards the front of the store. It took us a while, as it usually does take someone a while to push nearly 1100 pounds of food across a 45,000 square foot warehouse, so we picked up a few things here and there. At this point in the game we are pretty neutral on the “to get a card or not get a card” issue and were kind of leaning toward getting one for the fuel prices. The prices weren’t that great on many of the items (about average between the grocery stores in the valley), were pretty good on a few (strangely nothing sticks out as being a GREAT deal), and were too high on the rest (this includes bread and all other baked goodies. Especially the cookies! If I were to judge a place on its chocolate chip cookie quality and value, Costco would earn the prestigious “I’m going to kill you!” award). So we proceed to the check out where I learn of their “No, we don’t have bags but here are some boxes that won’t fit in your car” system. Mildly annoying, but manageable. This is also when we learn that you can’t buy just four nectarines! And the grand total….Ba dum dum $707.change. Ok, a little more than what we were expecting but, considering we won’t have to buy toilet paper for nearly a year, I can deal with it. Now a swipe of the card and we’re done. This is where we learn that they no longer (assuming that they did at one point) take Visa or Mastercard (The cruel irony is that they DO take American Express. I smell a commercial coming on. Oh wait, never mind…. That was something else >blush<) That’s ok because we still have those archaic notes known as personal checks! What’s that you say, you only take checks from the person on the membership card? Ok mom, buy our groceries for us. And hopefully the check won’t clear before our check to you clears! Prognosis…..Negative! I can’t say that I hate Costco, because they have a great setup if you are trying to abolish hunger in a third world country and have means to transport about a million oddly shaped boxes. What I can say is that the amount we would have gotten back from our credit card cash back feature would have almost outweighed the sales tax, that the cost of the membership puts a large dent in the amount of annual savings from fuel purchases, it’s a ways out of the way (perhaps not distance but at 5:30 pm it takes about 20 minutes to get from the University Park freeway exit to the parking lot, one way), the prices on the stuff we’d buy the most of was not impressive (the cookie thing!), and there was little or no variety (if you wanted peanut butter, you either get Adams or Jiff and both are crunchy). So Nikki and I will not be getting a Costco card. And that’s that.

2006-07-10T09:05:00.000-07:00

Yup, that's right! It's captain o-zone... Well I figure I’d better get to writing before Heather lashes out violently at me! Well, opening night was last Friday and in my opinion it went very well. Now there are only two more weeks of the run before it’s over, YEA!! So, I’ve been refinishing our dining room table and have come to several conclusions. #1, An air powered orbital sander, using 240 grit sand paper, takes about 1 hour to chew through a very thin layer of clear coat on an area of about one square foot. #2, An electric vibrating sander with 36 grit sand paper STILL takes about 30 minutes to do the same thing. #3, In spite of all these cool and expensive pieces of equipment, it only takes about 30 minutes to chew through the clear coat on the remaining area of the 10 foot long table (with both leaves in) by hand using the vibrating sander as a sanding block (a 40 year old, ugly and obviously built in the seventies orange, poorly ventilated so it got really hot and burned my hand, cord keeps falling out, type of sanding block!). #4, Water based stains (which I did not know existed until the other day) actually work VERY well and dry in about 15 minutes. Also clean up is a breeze. #5, When a salesman at RC Willey tells you that a table is “Solid Oak” what they really mean is “Shut up and buy this veneered table so I can go rape someone else. And by the way, our top coat is guaranteed to not stick to the surface it’s applied to and thus will not be water tight.” Prognosis, when a pumpkin which appeared sturdy and healthy at the store is brought home and left on top of said table over night and turn itself inside out by literally melting all over, resembling a large pile of oozing orange internal organs on an oak operating table, you may suffer a little damage. The point is, it’s been a fun project and by the time I am done with it it’ll be about ¼” taller, due primarily to the protective clear coat I will be covering it with to ensure that this DOESN’T happen again. Anyway, we have a few rooms set up now and are well on our way to being unpacked and fully moved it. Also, it is becoming very apparent that our house is going to seem empty until we can eventually get a little more furniture. So I went to take my first midterm for my programming class on Friday. “How did it go?” you may find yourself asking. Well I’ll tell you. Cue music “He’s going to tell, he’s going to tell, he’s going to tell…Uh... could some one give me a push?” Well I had been a good little ant and had “done” all my studying and was all brushed up on the material that would be on the test. (I’m sure Chris will be about the only one who gets the reference to the “done” ant there so just laugh even though it’s a joke you probably don’t get. By the way, what was the name of that book Chris?) SO, I go beboppin’ on over to the testing center and, long story short (And by long story I mean that I actually typed it up intending on inserting it in this particular entry then sat back and stared at a 3 page blog entry which contained about 1500 words and a story that was painfully drawn out and wasn’t funny at all. In an effort to keep Heather interested and reading, I decided to shut up and stuff that boring and unimportant ‘tale of woe’ into a sentence or two) So anyway, I am stupid and read the date wrong so I had missed the testing period. It’s alright though, I was able to talk to the professor and declare that I was a moron and he’s going to let me take it on Wednesday. I don’t take full responsibility though, as he posts due dates as “Due Friday June 7 at 12:00am” which actually means “Due Thursday June 6 at 11:59pm” but whatever. So Jamie is back from Europe now and is doing well. Anyway I should probably wrap it up so that Heather doesn’t get mad at me… again! Tchuss!

P.S. I have updated the Encyclopedia Stupidica with a few more things, so when you have a minute check it out!

P.S.S. When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions!

What if he's got a pointed stick?

2006-06-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

Yea, I know I’m slacking! SO, there are THINGS going on, yes? Here’s the news. We will be closing this after noon (June 28) and it looks like we’ll be able to move in right away. We should get the keys tomorrow (June 29) and then we are set to start bringing stuff over. I will be taking Friday off of work and moving as much in as I can. This weekend we hope to be getting most all of our stuff over there and hopefully get the vitals unpacked so we can start living there. Also, My Fair Lady is nearing the opening night and preparations are frantic with last minute things, polishing the scenes and finishing up costumes and what not. And now having dropped my calculus class, I only have the two online classes going. History is mildly entertaining but mostly boring. I think this is largely due to the heavy emphasis on the political side of American history as opposed to the cool stuff like assassinations, war, espionage, intrigue, and of course learning that pretty much every American president was hated by the end of their term no matter the circumstances. I used to think that distrusting politicians was merely because of a few “bad apples” but the more research I do the more I find that ever since the pre-Civil War era the majority of them have been corrupt, hypocritical, money grubbing, weasely, in it for them selves instead of the people they represent, morons worthy of being dragged into the street and beat to death with a clown shoe! He he >Squeak!< And it is with that in mind that I nominate myself for the office of the president! “If elected I promise to have all of your legs sawn off! ... and replaced with legs of PURE GOLD! Plus I will grant you the power to fire lasers from your head!” (This is the part of the campaign where I promise you ridiculous things just to get your vote. These things will never come to pass but because I am so superior to all of you voters, you will fail to see this until I’m elected and then get offended when you realize that you are stupid. Another reason you’ll vote for me is because the only other candidate who can tie his own shoe is a slobbering moron who campaigns by attempting to change every law /amendment /commandment /religious reading that you hold dear and right. Besides, the way he looked in one particular moment of one particular conference when he was really excited was a little scary. As entertainment to the “voters” we will hold press conferences and debates and what not where we will discuss “complicated” subjects like whether we should allow gay abortionists to remove the word “God” from the influx of violent immigrant child abusers who CLEARLY play too many video games with vile acts of self desecration in them! [By the way these are current issues I pulled off of the Berkley web site]) But in spite of all that, you will love me as your president for about half of my term. At that point, there will inevitably be some controversy with no “meet in the middle” solution and I will be forced to make a decision (which equates to actually DOING something and is therefore above and beyond the call of duty for a politician). Will this decision be based off of popular opinion? … No. Will it be based off of important insider information that only the president and a few others have access to? ....Cool but no. Will it be decided on my political affiliation showing support and respect to those that helped me to get in my current position? ….Well, no because I have forgotten ‘them’ and those little people can die in a festering pool of “buyer’s remorse” for all I care. Will it be because I don’t really care and just picked a side at random without considering the consequences of my actions both malignant and benign because this issue only affects other people that I care nothing about? DING DING DING! At this point my popularity will fall and people will start holding pathetic little demonstrations upon which I seriously consider releasing rubber Nuclear Weapons! (Have I made my point yet about disliking politicians yet or should I go a little further?) Anyway, that’s history for you, and by association it is also apparently the future so GET USED TO IT!

Luvs!

By Grabthar's hammer, what a savings

2006-06-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

So it’s nearly the end of June now, and I am wrapping up my Trig class in fact I have my final tomorrow. Also, I start my Calculus class on Wednesday so I don’t get much of a break. Things on the house are presumably going well and we should be set to close in just over a week now. Then it comes time to move all of our collected crap from any of about 5 different locations into our house. I now have my axle completely welded together and ready to bolt in under the frame. This would have been done on Saturday, But some greedy little cheese eating surrender monkey decided to go and buy all of the steel I needed in 1 day. So I am waiting until I can get my hands on the steel I need to finish it. So until then it sits, reverently, quietly, just as still as it can be. Ok that was a bit lame, but that’s me. Anyway, MFL practice is about to speed up and become a hot item. We’ve only got two more weeks until it opens so there is much that needs to be done. Really there isn’t anything interesting going on, unless you count being hopelessly busy as interesting. My head feels about to explode from studying. But in other news it’s time for my shameless sellout of the afternoon. ”Are you feeling like less of a man? Have you tried acting all macho but just haven’t got the emotional drive to get you there? Do you just need a little more ‘Man-power’ for an upcoming occasion? Well then try new Testosteroni from Chef Boyardee. Fun noodles in the shapes of things guys like, such as: Dragsters, hunting rifles, steak, robotic killing machines, our best noodle representation of an explosion, and of course female body parts best left un-described! Now what says ‘I’m a man’ better than eating a noodle shaped like Chuck Norris!? And we haven’t forgotten you twisted little FREA ..….. uh alternatively attracted ‘individuals’. Yes that’s right! We also cater to the gay community with our new ‘I wish I had no Penne Alfredo’. Noodles that are an abomination to organized society and those who participate in….. I mean fun shapes that’ll keep you giggling.” There, shameless product introduction of the afternoon is done. So anyway, I’ll leave you with that so you can ponder the fun and giggley shapes. Oh the shapes!

Someone set us up the Bomb!

2006-06-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

I hate hauling hay, but it is good to have it done for the year. Well the house inspection went very well. A couple very minor things were found but then I’d be a little suspicious if we had found nothing. Something I found interesting as well is that the house is pre-wired with Cat5 jacks I almost every room downstairs! This is very cool for a lot of reasons that need not be explained. After having looked into Utopia, we have come to two realizations. One, it is MUCH less expensive than I though it was going to be which is VERY cool!! Second, it is piped in across the street……but not to our house. Thus it will be about 3-6 months before we can get it, and get it we shall! Until then I am afraid we’ll have to whore ourselves out to Qwest or something. Other than that we are just about ready to close on the house, and their home is almost finished as well so I think we’ll be able to move in right at the end of the month. My Fair Lady is going well. I am now a choreographed dancing idiot. We don’t have practice this week because the director is going to be in New York so I am wondering if there will be an HDR this Wednesday. The Crawler is coming along. Yesterday I built the brackets I need to attach the tie rods to the axle. Now I just need to drill them, weld them and then build the tie rods them selves and I’ll be ready to mount it all up! All in all, this part of the project has gone much faster than I had expected. Once together it’ll be ready for me to start getting the body mounted and functional. I like building stuff. Again, I hope to post some pictures as I go. I’ll be posting the first after I get the brackets welded. School is going well and I am nearing the end of my Trig class. This is cool for two amazing reasons. And now for something completely different. We are hoping to still do the camp out thing later in the summer (probably the end of July or first part of August) and as we get closer I’ll keep you informed. I have changed a few of my links after someone pointed out an error. Also, you may have noticed a few more random comments than normal. This is because I was required to build a little website for my programming class and I included a link to my blog. Thus the comments about ness and thingies of the nature having changed slightly, rendering it yet more interesting! Thus I digress!

My Eyes Hurt!!!

2006-06-05T15:36:00.000-07:00

Well I don’t know about anyone else, but Monday came WAY too fast!! I spent most of Sunday in a hazy blur, then next thing I know I am at school! Awe well. What a party eh? My final totals were 8.5 hours on Friday and 13.5 hours on Saturday for the grand total of 22 hours of gaming. It was great to see everyone as well, and then pin them to the wall with a crossbow bolt! I had dreams of HL2. We’ll defiantly have to do that again in a few months once everyone has fully recovered from any injuries sustained. All in all I’d say that was the smoothest Quakefest I’ve ever attended. It seemed that no one had any problem with their computer, and thanks to Dave’s foresight we had most all of the games pre-installed. I have some pictures and I’ll have to upload them to Shane’s page for all to enjoy. Well, things are still going on the house purchase. We will be doing the home inspection on Saturday the 10^th. The address is 443 E. 800 S. in Payson. The easiest way to get there is to take the second Payson exit and go East (Left off the freeway if you’re coming from the north) stay on that road for quite a while. You’ll pass through bit of town (as opposed to those roads that DON’T take you through “bits” of town) and it’ll widen towards the end with a pretty little barrier thing in the middle between the two lanes. Keep going past these and it’ll be on the North side (Left side) of the road across from a large grove of old trees. We will be there from about 1 until about 4 so feel free to come down take a look at the place if you wish or you can help if you’re so inclined. Well I’ve officially started my C++ Programming class now, and I am already almost done with the first week’s worth of homework. It doesn’t look like it’ll be too tough, but some classes start out that way then destroy your face with pencil fragments!! Hopefully it won’t be one of those classes. At any rate, things are going. I am getting ready to purchase the Rear disk Brake kit for my Crawler thanks to those who have contributed to the fund in the form of Autozone Gift Cards!! Hopefully I’ll have a picture to add to this post soon of what the Axle looks like so far and where it’s going. Thanks for the comments and keep it up!

A round of Happy Birthday's on the House!

2006-05-31T09:59:00.000-07:00

Ok so the holiday threw me a bit off. Or maybe I just wanted to wait to post a happy birthday blog or something. Either way here we are. So I’m officially joining the OLD people (i.e. you guys) and I’m feeling a new sense of maturity about myself. I can hardly remember the last time I tried to urina…….hmm maybe I shouldn’t go there. So last weekend my wife convinced me to start working on my Crawler again and try to get the next part done before we have to move. So I pulled the rear axle out and trussed it. It went much faster and was much easier than I thought it would be. Now all I have to do is fabricate and weld on a few mounting brackets and build the tie rods and I am ready to mount my rear suspension. By this point I expect most of you to be looking at your computer screens like a chicken sizing up a chemistry experiment, that is if you haven’t skipped right on past the last few sentences. Anyway, it’s fun for me so poo on you (but that wouldn’t be fun for me, or anyone else I can think of so never mind). The house purchase is going well, we are basically qualified and ready to go. If anyone would like to come and see it before we buy it, we’ll be setting up a time to go and do the home inspection sometime soon. If your interested let either of us know and we’ll keep you apprised to the day and time we’ll be going. So only a few more days until the BIG Quake-fest/Dave’s B-Day party and I am getting excited as all get out. Tragically family affairs will detain Nikki and I for either Saturday or Friday night (cursed hey hauling). But other than that I should have a good portion of the time to spend there. I start my programming class (C++) on Monday, so I was looking at the syllabus and what not. It seems the first week is mainly dealing with things like “this is the processor, it thinks about stuff” and “this is NOT a cup holder” so I expect it to be kinda boring. That’s about it, besides Nikki having horrible craving for Lucky Charms last night. Oh, when does Heather come back, we miss her beating up on Dave…… and Jeff……and Shane……and anyone else who questions her integrity or mentions “her bidness”? Later!

What a bunch of Twonks!

2006-05-22T11:12:00.000-07:00

Well it looks like I have some bad news. Some terrible awful news about sad and depressing things. Some news that’ll make you run to your window and scream with tragic enthusiasm that “these floors are dirty as hell (which WOULD be pretty dirty I imagine) and I’m not going to take it anymore!” Well…. Ok. Maybe I’m over exaggerating certain parts of transpired events while down playing others in an attempt to build suspense and make the reader (i.e. YOU) wonder ever more what this thing is which has set off a mood resembling that of a bombinated twinkie. (ok that was random, but it IS in the dictionary) So as you can probably gather, Nikki and I went looking at houses again this weekend. Things went well. We were able to find many more promising houses than what we’ve previously run across. Of course this is partially due to our acceptable price range creeping ever northward. However, the luck we had this weekend was very notable. In fact we found 3 houses that we were very impressed with and considering as finalists. Curiously enough, all 3 of them were within just a few blocks of each other. As Saturday afternoon came we found ourselves wondering which of these to look into further. After some long discussions, we came to the conclusion that we wanted to make an offer on one of them. The decision was mutual and we are both very excited. We met with the owners and began negotiations on the price, closing costs, included items and all kinds of goodies related to purchasing a home. After about an hour of conversing we were able to agree on a price and the terms surrounding it. We will be meeting the lady tonight to sign a formal contract and officially start the purchase process. Basically, we have just begun to buy a house. At this point, many of you may have some questions. They are probably along the lines of “What was the bad news?” or “What is this house like?” and possibly even “Where might this property be located?” well fear not cadets. The home was built in 2003, is about 2500 square feet and sits on .28 acres. It is located in a very nice and newer neighborhood in Payson. Yeah Yeah I hear you all grumbling. It’s really not much further that Lehi was from Orem. For those living in AF and PG it may be a bit further than that. Anyway it has 4 bedrooms, an office, a front room, a family room, an actual theater room (Quake room!) 3 bathrooms, plenty of storage and all kinds of other goodies that I’m sure most people don’t care too much about (and yes it does have a kitchen too). Anyway, the bad news is that I’ll probably have to pass on the purchase of my Glock for now ( :-( whimper) but I think it’ll be something I get within the next year so I’m not too sad about it. The sellers are building a house in Spanish Fork (or Springville, I get those two confused a lot) and it should be complete by around the end of June. This means that we would probably be closing on the house at the end of June. Nikki and I are very excited and ready to be done with the whole “living at my parents house while searching for one of our own” phase and looking forward to starting the “moving into our lovely new home with cool features and all kinds of niceness and maybe possibly if the planets align right and we just plain feel like it starting to try for a baby” phase! Yes I said it! Nikki and I just maybe might be thinking about starting to have a baby in the next year. This is more of a forced decision as I think waiting too much longer would result in us having children around long after we wanted them gone (which will probably happen anyway). But yes, it is something we need to start thinking about. And with us now having a house that we’ll probably be in for about 10 years, my mother is going to start hounding on me to “get busy.” Anyway, I’ll keep you all updated as details become available.

What d'ya mean you killed him Cha' Cha' Cha'!?

2006-05-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

So, the experiment continues. I was well pleased by the response times observed on my last post. Thus I shall begin posting on a weekly basis. The house hunt continues and we are now considering building, again. If we choose this option we will be living a few blocks further west from where our last house was. So, not too far away and the house would be much nicer and newer than what we’ve been coming across. One sizable drawback is that we’d have to wait 8-10 months for it to be built. This would leave us staying at my parents place for much longer than anticipated but would also give us the opportunity to save a great deal more money than we’d originally planned. We’ll be making a decision on this option this week so hopefully I can give y’all an update next post. Nikki started her new job today and is hopefully having a good time in her new position as the “Director of Budgets.” My Fair Lady practices are moving right along. It seems that the Rehearsals are always on Wednesday nights, and almost never on Tuesday nights. Thus, for those who might be open I suggest that, only if possible and agreeable to all involved parties, we move HDR to Pre-HDR (i.e. Tuesday) for the duration of the Play. Again, it is only a suggestion and if anyone has any problems with the move, then I guess I’ll have to wait until the end of July to resume attendance. Work is going well. I get to play with new and unusual things on almost a daily basis. Not to mention having a bit of free time every day to explore further scientific interests. I have now registered for fall classes and am steaming on my way to graduating 2 semesters early. This comes as a bit of a surprise to me. I didn’t expect to be this far ahead after only the first 2 semesters. Also, I may be changing the Associates degree that I am going for due to a BYU admissions phenomenon which makes it easier to get in with an Associate of Science, as opposed to an Associate in Pre-Engineering. Whatever, the classes are almost identical and my long term goals remain the same. Currently I am in Trig (easy and kinda boring) and a History class (Easy, boring, and a guaranteed A). The later part of the summer I’ll still be in the history class and be starting Calculus as well as Introduction to Programming (which I’ll be taking online). Anyway, enough Psyco-babble from me, until next week “yo my peepin’ pimples!” (P.S. I've Updated my links to take you right to the latest comics in the case of Penny Arcade, Ctrl Alt Del and have added VG Cats since no one uses the Hotmail Link. Also if there are any other links that anyone would like then just let me know where you want it to go)

WHOA!! CREEEEEEEEEPY!!!

2006-05-08T16:05:00.000-07:00

HOLY COW!!! Yes I know everyone will be shocked that I have updated this soon after my last post. If anyone objects then maybe I’ll go back to the old way of posting every other month and let you all revel in the skanky oldness that prevails in some of my posts. Anyway, it looks like Nikki and I may be passing on that house, although the jury is still out on the final decision. For those of you who haven’t heard, she was offered a position with the UVSC Athletics Department and has taken them up on it. She will be starting on Monday May 15. Needless to say, she is a bit on the smiley side today. Tonight marks our first actual meeting for the My Fair Lady rehearsals and, unfortunately, marks the beginning of my being late to, or missing altogether, HDR. This is, unlike last summer’s diuretic string of absence, only about 8 weeks and will end after that. Hopefully by that time we’ll be into a new house and can not only participate, but potentially host HDR. Our reasons for passing on the PG house are complicated and involved. It was not an easy verdict to arrive at. Basically, it had everything I wanted but left Nikki feeling left out. I couldn’t live with myself, much less her, if I were to get the house anyway and have her be miserable. Besides, it allows me to fall back on our prior agreement that if we don’t absolutely need the money when my birthday comes around, I can use my next bonus to finally get the Glock 21 I’ve been wanting for many years. This is thus far the tentative case, but is subject to change under certain circumstances. Hope all is well with ya’ll and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be posting soon. By the way, MORE REPLIES!!! >they make me giggle< :-). Oh and just i case you were wondering, the picture at the top is just for everyone to wonder about. toodles

Hummining with my Wii

2006-05-02T10:02:00.000-07:00

Ok then, so it’s been a bit. Life continues as busy as ever. Nikki has finished her last class now and is mulling through the endless job opportunities in an attempt to land something decent. Her struggle should pay off here in the next few days/weeks. Finals are over now and I find myself….. right back in the middle of more classes. Yes my 3 day rest from school was nice but a bit on the short side. Anyway, I am enjoying the new job as it has me actually THINKING!! School is school and I find myself reminded of why I was so bored in a lot of the classes in high school. Fortunately, I am still taking half of my classes online so the craziness is tolerable for now. We have been looking for houses for a few weeks now, and recently it has become more serious and involved. We have found a really nice place in Pleasant Grove and are looking into the details. We have some reservations as it is on the higher end of what we are looking to pay, but it has a lot of features that, I feel, make it well worth it. If it DOES go through and we were to buy the house, we would have a few things that many of you may be interested, some more than others. For instance, it has a very large second living room downstairs which would lend itself perfectly as a Quake room, and help alleviate the stress on Shane and Ashley.

Furthermore, it has a separate entrance to the basement through the garage and a key pad. This means that, under preset stipulations, in the event the Nikki and I were to be out of town or singing and dancing, as the case may be, y’all could continue to party on down until we got home and were able to join. ALSO, this large living room is part of a complete 2 bedroom apartment in which someone could live. If this goes through I would present it to all of you, meaning our friends, as a possibility. I know most of you already have houses and condos and apartments and what ever, BUT it would be open. I can think of 3 that may be open to the possibility, Dave (though supposedly in charge of his parents place), Heather (although I don’t know if it would be in her interest to live down here), and Jamie (when she gats back from her trip to Europe). I will keep you posted on what may transpire in either direction. Toodles!

Our New Yark Adventure....Yhar!

2006-04-03T20:41:00.000-07:00

Well we’re back, as if you hadn’t guesses, and now things are different. The picture above is one we took with our camera of the New York skyline. I also have somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 pictures if anyone would care to see them. We started off having to figure out the subway system to get from the airport into lower Manhattan. The subway trains are actually a very nice mode of transportation and we did end up relying on them heavily. We went to time square several times, as our hotel was about 3 blocks from it, and beheld the fast paced nature it’s known for. We also saw a few crazy people but they were all on one day and in one part of town. The museums are cool and deceiving at the same time. The ones you think will be cool and awesome, some due to reputation (cough cough ‘Gugenheim’) are actually really stupid and those that sound small and are hardly mentioned have some of the coolest things you’ll see in museums. The Jewish History museum was powerful and humbling. We saw two Broadway shows, The Lion King and Spamalot. Both were great and well worth the cost. All in all it was a great trip, something we’ll only do once except for perhaps a quick stop in the summer to see what Central Park looks like in the summer.

Now for those of you who haven’t yet heard, I have returned. Yes that is right my friends I am now working a day shift and ready to participate in all of the late night funnings that had previously been denied due to satanic influence. But wait there is more. Not only am I on days now but I will also be starting a new position on Monday April 10 as the new Research & Development Testing Data Annalist (Yes that is the actual title, sounds cool huh) which will consist of a nice cushy office job with my own desk, computer, etc. My thanks to those of you who helped in the acquisition of this position….. which is a grand total of NONE of you HA HA!, But I do thank you for your support and patience while I bribed my way in. This also means that I will be present at HDR from here on our with a few possible exceptions.

So now that we are back Nikki will begin looking for a new job, actually she has already secured an interview from an inside source this Wednesday to be the new Controller over the athletics department of UVSC. Pretty snazzy, and I think she has a good shot at it too. ALSO, as soon as she DOES get that, or A, job we will begin some hardcore searching for our new house. I’m so happy. While I am grateful to my parents for letting us live here for a few months, it has been old since about our second day here. We are ready for our OWN house again!! Also, we went on a horse ride yesterday, the first one possible since the tragic and eventful opening of the Elk, or Wapiti as named by the Native Navaho Tribes from centuries passed, hunt when Nikki’s jaw absorbed enough energy to lift 1800 lbs of horse meat several feet off the ground, and Nikki rode Tiny. I’m telling you, she is a tough girl so don’t make her mad. Chris already knows what happens when she has a paintball gun and you have her team’s flag, yes testicles were involved. Anyway, I plan on posting again soon as I have much to say. Some of this includes Dave’s reaction when I mysteriously showed up at last week’s HDR. Until then, Stay tuned.

We're on a mission from Glod!

2006-03-08T22:14:00.000-08:00

Yea its march now and I am attempting to catch up my blog. The search for a better position lingers on and on and on. I have lost count on how many positions I have applied and interviewed for. The story is always the same that I have a lot of the great and wonderful attributes they are looking for but in the end it comes down to a matter of who knows how to run the machines on the floor the most. I have met almost the entire research and development team now and all of them like me and feel I have great potential. Anyway I don’t want to whine all the time. So I am still in school and doing pretty well. I nearly aced my last math exam and I have another one due early next week, which I also intend to ace. Preparations are well under way for the trip to New York and just today the camera I bought for Nikki was delivered. The more I am married to her the more I truly feel I am the luckiest man alive. So….. my car is in the shop. My neighbor backed into the driver side door and cracked the fiberglass. Meanwhile Nikki has been reduced to driving a Ford rental car (sorry to those who like fords but I have been catching a lot of flack from my parents about it). Hopefully it will be done by Friday but we’ll see. Other than that life has been generally uneventful, which is one excuse for having not written. Chris has invited Nikki and I to join the D&D group which I think will be a lot of fun…….provided that I can ever attend. I will be playing a character that is almost completely rolled at random, including race, class and attributes. Thus far I am actually quite pleased although certain things had to be chosen out of regard to the obvious. Um… the dogs are good, fat but good. Nikki is getting even more excited about graduating and has come to the realization that she’ll need to pick up a hobby to keep her self busy. This makes me a little jealous as I have more hobbies than I could possibly keep up with even without school or a job. I hope she finds something she really enjoys and makes her feel fuzzy inside. Because fuzzy insides are the best kinds! I would like to set up a few camping trips this summer and invite everyone to attend. Perhaps I could bring the horses and who ever wanted could ride them in the mountains. What ever, let me know if this is a bad idea or if no one would actually come to save me the trouble of planning it. I hear that Dave is planning a LAN party for his birthday. This makes me smile in a few places (some of you may ask “places like here at home and there abroad or places like mouth and stomach and rectum”. To this I say that you should think about that for a while and possibly write a thesis about the ability of body parts to smile or at least some close approximation) and I am hopeful I’ll be able to attend for at least most of it. I have come up with a few ideas for finishing the interior of my truck and hope to begin them as soon as I finish priming and painting the outside this summer. The more time I spend in school the more my brain becomes hungry. I am a learning fool right now. I am currently studying Health, Math, Writing, German, Russian, and hope to soon start Spanish. I feel my enthusiasm will decline dramatically when I have to start actually GOING to school and tolerating all the other students. Nikki and I hope to start looking for a house soon as the whole living at home thing has been old since…..well since we moved back in. I can only imagine how Dave feels but then he has a lot of cool home theater stuff in his area of the house. We hope to me moving out by say July or August but then that is what we have PLANNED. Thus it will either be next week or next year, at least that is what history would suggest. Anywho, I am off to New York. I’ll write when we get back and elaborate on the experience a little. Until then may all your dreams about being eaten alive by large prehistoric reptiles remain in your head where they belong. Bloody escaping dreams anyway. Maybe someday when you’re older I’ll tell you a story that happened to me one time. Maybe. Also try having your music with rocks in, you just might like it. J

What a way to start the year...Eh?

2006-01-27T10:24:00.000-08:00

So it has been almost another month since I’ve updated…..bad Llama. New years was fun and safe, I don’t think I heard of anyone having an accident or close call. Nikki has had one heck of a run with cars this month. It started one Saturday when she was headed up to her parents in the “Sub”, or to appease those who feel she was traveling in a sandwich the “Soob”, and had a blowout on the freeway. Not a big deal, the spare was in the car and so was the jack and a lug wrench, she was good to go. She changed the tire and was back on her way in no time. Mind you that I am at work this whole time (which is no surprise because I am always at work with the possible exception of my weekly vacation when they let me out for six hours to shower and attend church services) so I am coaching her through it over the phone. Anyway she goes up to her parents place and does her thing there and everything is happy and wonderful like. On her way home she gets down around 12300 South and hears a loud “BANG” and the car jolts a little bit. Thinking she had another blowout (by the way the tires on the Sub were really bad and we had plans to change them we just hadn’t gotten to it yet) she pulls over to the side of the road and gets out to look things over. No flat tires or anything for that matter, all looks well. So she gets back in the car, thinking she must have hit something in the road, and puts the car into gear. The unmistakable noise which follows is roughly reminiscent of metal chunks being churned around by what remains of the internal components of a transmission. (this is a BAD thing) So, not knowing what was happening, I get another call that she is on the side of the road………again. So I listen to her description of what happened and decide that I need to leave work and go see what the problem is because this time it sounds much more serious. So I leave and get up there and try to make the car go and sure enough she was right, it won’t go. I put the car in reverse and it catches just enough to make the car grind backwards. I decided to try it forward again and it sort of clanks and grinds its way down the side of the freeway. Realizing that we are somewhat mobile I told Nikki to follow me in my car and we’ll just see if we can get off the side of the freeway. Upon looking back, I feel the only reason I was able to get the car moving is that some twisted piece of metal must have gotten crammed in just the right spot which I find somewhat humorous. Anyway we get it off the freeway and leave it I a parking lot for the night. On the way home we were discussing what we were going to do with the car keeping in mind that we paid $900 for it and repairing the transmission will cost around $700. Furthermore we had planned on replacing it for a car that Nikki might actually want to drive within the next few months anyway. Thus we decide to donate the car to one of those tax donation places and got a $500 tax credit on our 2006 taxes. So we’re down a car but we do still have my Trans Am and my Truck. Can you guess which one Nikki chooses to drive…….in the winter……..with little to no rear tire traction……and it’s all pretty and my baby? So I get a call on Monday (yes this is the Monday following the whole Sub thing which was on Saturday) and she tells me that she has a flat tire. DUDE! Ok not a real big deal she puts the spare on and takes the other into Les Schwab to be fixed. Wednesday night comes and it’s time for schoolgirl Nikki to be trotting off to learn great and wonderful things. This also happens to be a night when the clouds are getting rather thick it feels a little warmer than it was in the day, basically a storm is on its way. SO….can you guess who gets a call at about 10pm? Well I do and it is reportedly snowing quite heavily. As she is telling me this I sense an undertone in her voice, almost saying “I am scared to tell him something” which freaks me out but I let her talk. She proceeds to tell me that she has SLID MY CAR OFF THE FREEWAY! First, because I am practicing to one day be a GOOD husband, I ask her if she is ok (which is more of a courtesy than a real question because if she wasn’t ok then she probably wouldn’t be the one calling) and she is. Being the materialistic pig I am my next question is slightly more pointed to another object, namely IS MY CAR OK!? Fortunately, she had not hit anything and was just stuck off the side of the road. So I go pull her out and everything is ok. Four days is all that had passed. At this point, realizing that she was going to be driving my car for a few weeks, I call my insurance company to make sure that the car is completely covered and even go as far as to check out the Kelley bluebook value to see what I will get if/when the car is totaled. After coming to grips with the numbers and planning what I’ll keep out of the other car, we proceed into the next week. I don’t mean for this to sound like I am trashing on Nikki’s driving ability or anything like that, I just find it an amazing coincidence that all those things happened within four days. But still, I will be sleeping better when she has her own car again. Preferably something big and built like a tank with roll cages and crumple zones and 360 degrees of airbag. Anyway school is going great and i am enjoying it. So far i have an almost perfect score in all my classes. It makes me wonder what was wrong with me in High School. I think I’ve rambled on enough. Toodles!

Happy Holidays

2005-12-20T00:29:00.000-08:00

I know it's cheesey but i just want to wish those of you (i.e. both of you) who read this a Merry Christmas and New Year. In hindsight i thought i mught recap the years events fro this time last year until now.

January: Work was still rolling along on the house. The laundry room was nearly finished. The Dodge Intrepid had just blown up the for the first time and i was beginning to regret the purchase. I was also enjoying my job as the Special Projects Manager for Barnes Bullets, despite my overbearing boss. Realeased from being a sunbeam teacher.

February: called as Elders Quorum secretary. Realizing that Building a Gaming Machine was more achievable than originally thought, i began to purchase parts for said project. (had Mind set on Radeon 9800 Pro for a GC) Also i believe this is the month i set the laundry room on fire. (oops!) Had Dodge running again after a 3 week battle with the ignition system (i won....kind of).

March: The backyard was growing grass like crazy and i started to wonder how many times a week i'd have to mow it (this turned out to be about 2). Nearing completion of Gaming Machine (Changed mind to BFG Tech NVIDIA 6800 Ultra) and eagerly awaiting arival of processor. Starting to realize that my boss is a big jerk and i might have to do something about it. This is also the month i started my Blog. :-)

April: Won an e-bay auction for my dream graphics card and could not wait for it to arive for the beast. Also began to work on my Rock Crawler (still planned as a "Super Subaru"). Pushing the house sale pretty hard through variouse means of advertisement.

May: Gaming machine internals complete and (though i did not know it yet) a Laser mouse would be added to the arsenal by the end of the month. Realized that Barnes is not the place for me and (foolishly) relocated to Bear Creek Soups in Heber (about 70 miles away). Happy Birthday me! Dodge Intrepid blows motor for the second time (begin to rethink the purchase again). Had an incredible experience with friends in Vegas for the Blue Man Group concert (thanks again Dave). Also my Moms dad dies after a 4 month battle with several types of cancer.

June: I realize that i hate my new job after the 1st day (this is not an exageration, just ask anyone who knew me at the time) and begin applying to US Synthetic. The birth of Hump-day Reprisal (still going strong mind you) The Dodge is back together and running, again, and is up for sale. Nikki passes her Hunters Safety coarse and is legally able to hunt (watch out). Coined the phrase "But Sex Cake". I am still not sure if i'll have to answer for that one after i die.

July:Finally get a Job at US Synthetic and start having a normal schedule again. Rick and Erin are Married. Dave is decidely "cool". People seem interested in our house (liars :-P) Obtained Land Rover body for Rock Crawler.The house looks great, particularly the backyard.

August: My sister gets married. Archery hunt opens and i think, why did i do this again? Pepper (one of our horses) gets hurt pretty bad. I spend much time in the mountains hiking my butt off (don't worry, it grew back. In fact i think it came back bigger) We Finally sale the Dodge.

September: Still crawling around the mountains trying to find a Buck (this never actually comes to fruition). Coined the word "Hermitified". Fuel prices jump after a hurricane wipes out several refineries and thousands of homes in the south. I get a new Car ( also i finally figured out how to put pictures up, see top of page) (and i still haven't even been pulled over, thanks mom :-P)

October: Archery season is over and i have nothing to show for it, and i mean nothing (not even the arrows i started out with). Starting to feel a little lonely. My dad kills an Elk on opening morning. This same morning Nikki gets kicked in the face by a horse and suffers a broken jaw. pretty much spent the rest of the month taking care of my wife and working. I foolishly comment on things calming down and settling for the Holidays (i think this is a particularly interesting piece of irony. the best part is that i did it to myself).

November: Although not much was posted for this month we finally sale our house. Nikki recovers form her injury and is able to chew soft foods for Thanksgiving.

December: Nikki gets all the metal removed form her mouth. I begin to think of School and enroll at UVSC in Pre-Engineering. The Holidays creep into our lives all at once. My grandfather (dads dad) goes into the hospital for "indigestion" (actually a heart attack) and dies 1 week later of Congestive Heart Failure. The Funeral is tomorrow.

Upon reading through the past years events i have realized 2 things. 1, life has a funny way of kicking you when everi it wants. 2, i really need to watch my typing errors having found multiple mistakes i hadn't yet noticed. May your holidays posess the spirit of the season and may your travels proceed safely.

Merry Christmas

Oh Yea!.....I Have A Blog!!!

2005-12-06T12:12:00.000-08:00

Alright i know it's been a while but before the heckling starts let me explain a little bit. In the past month or so, many things have taken place. The largest reason for my lack of postage is that we have sold our house. All I can say is "Finally!", followed by a "whats next?". I have been interviewing for positions at work in hopes of transfering to a more challenging position as well as land myself in a comfortable, more convenient day time position. However for now, my chair at HDR remains empty......or possibly filled by some styrofoam packaging material and one of those drinking birds that bends over and hits the keyboard pointlessly. Either way the end result is the same. Anywho, now that i am officially located over at my parents house (Finally with internet access might i add :-D) I am looking ahead to the upcoming months with a sence of optimism and happiness. Also i am becming more focused on some of my long tern projects (i.e. the Rock Crawler) which i will now have the luxury of devoting time towards. Meanwhile, Nikki has been released from her Oral prison and has no more metal in her mouth. As the year closes and Christmas draws nearer, i am actually finding myself in a good mood (Definatly not the historical normality for the given season). I believe this is for a number of reasons. We are finally able to move forward with our lives having sold our house. We are nearly done with our Christmas shopping and have remained within relative proximity to our budgeted limits. I am nerly done with my Christmas shopping (having done most of it online). And i generally have a good feeling about stuff in general. I have recently been digging into the world of pocket PC's and have a Treo 600 as my Guiney Pig. The one thing i haven't yet found a concrete answer on is whether i can unlock it and change the service provider from Verizon to Sprint. The only major hang up i have found in my research is that Sprint seems to employ a "Whitelist" of acceptable ESR's and doesn't seem to be open to accepting new ones, even for current customers. This, i feel, is something that can be overcome. Other than that, i am fully confident that i can ulock the phone. At the very least it gives me something to entertain myself while i am still stuck in the Inspection Department at US Synthetic and thus recieving no neural stimulation. Anyway, I wish you all a great day!

As the World Turns, and turns, and turns, then STOPS!!!

2005-10-27T10:02:00.000-07:00

So....... it's nearly halloween. Costumes are ready, pumpkins are carved, house is decorated and all is well in the kingdom. It' s also the second (and mind you last) weekend of the Deer hunt, in which i am not a participant due to lack of tagage. But at any rate i have still been out a time or 2 in attempts to help others get their animals. I am looking forward to the halloween party at Justin's place because i haven't seen any of my friends for some time now. Also from what i hear there are supposed to be some pretty cool costumes about. Nikki is excited too but for some slightly different reasons. First off she gets her wires cut on halloween day and will be outfitted with a nice arrangement of rubber bands and will finally be able to eat soft foods. Reportedly, the first thing she wants to have when she is at that point is Gnocci with some nice soft garlic bread (which we did have until yesterday when i ate it all and caught flack over which led me to, somewhat sarcasticly, buy 3 bags of the stuff for her to enjoy). Also, the 1st of November is her birthday and she is in for a few surprises. Well not really becaus eshe told me what she wanted, but it makes me feel better to say that they are indeed surprises. Besides it is her birthday and if she doesn't at least act surprised i will be forced to take her presents from her and use them myself. Anyway i hope she has fun. Work is going..........period. I am getting very bored with the inspection job and have put in for a few other openings which include an Automation Engineer and a Process Engineer. I should hear today whether i have an interview for either. I am hoping for this for several reasons, only a few of which are good ones. 1st i'd get to see Nikki more because my shift would be moved to days. 2nd, i' be able to once again attend HDR (which i had to put second because i know my wife will be reading this........JUST KIDDING!!!). note- stay tuned for Nikki's responce and see if i get hurt for that ( bets will be taken at 100 to 1 odds). Nikki is growing ever closer to graduation, and has started to have doubts about going to New York for her grad present. ( By the way, Nikki and Jamie STILL haven't beaten Mario 3) Cars are all running well, dogs are fine (chubby but fine). Truely, all seems well in the kingdom, which of course means that all kinds of things are about to start happening and chaos will soon re-emerge from the depths. Not to mention we are near the "Holiday Season" when everyone gets all hipocritical and bipolar. Normally i really hate the Christmas season, but (due to a promice i made to Nikki) I am going to try and remain cheerful throughout. Does this mean you can expect to see me outside your doorstep caroling away with several other hopelessly tone deaf persons. I should hurt you for even thinking it. In reality i think the best way for me to stay upbeat is to aviod people all together, which given my recent work habits shouldn't be too hard. Enough about me, i'd like to say something concernign the comments posted by ya'll. I think i am going to start requiring at least a 2 sentence responce. If you can't think of anything good to say just throw a bunch of periods in there and make it look like there are a few lines. Oh by the way (as if it were a shocker) our house still hasn't sold, and i am still without internet (grumble grumble). My time has expired, i must return to the pit from whence i was summoned. Best of luck to all of you. By the way, don't do anything stupid. Toodles