At last, an update

So I’ve heard from many of you that I need to blog more. I am a little confused by this because in the recent past when I have blogged, the same people say things like “you shouldn’t be so negative”. IN the face of this conflicting feedback, I have just not written anything in the last 11 months. I would say that nothing has happened, but the fact is that a lot has happened I just don’t think that this is the most efficient means of dispersing the information to those who need/want to know. I estimate that any given post gets about 2.5 relevant comments, rarely exceeding one sentence. I get a considerable number of comments on older posts from spam advertising. This was a contributing factor in me basically forgetting about my blog for a while. There are other reasons in terms of things I wanted/needed to talk about not being… appropriate for this forum. Suffice it to say that I had my reasons for not updating for a while. Anyway, now on to some things.

In chronological order, I bought a new truck, I graduated college, we had a baby, I got a promotion, I did NOT get a bull elk tag, I went to Alaska… that’s about all the big stuff. I started an aggressive running program to get in shape, and after about 3 weeks developed shin splints and in the process of recovering lost all momentum and progress. Ryker, our new baby boy, is about 4 months old now and growing like a weed. Lately he doesn’t seem to like me much and screams when he realizes I am holding him. I feel generally happier than I did a year ago, though my overall thought patterns have not really changed.

Normally I have some sort of topic I try to adhere to, but due to the somewhat guiltily inductive nature of the circumstances prompting this post it is somewhat garbled. I will try to pick a relevant recent topic to more thoroughly explore.

Adria is growing up so fast that it is startling. Not seeing her for nearly 2 weeks, it was clear how quickly things are changing. It is somewhat frightening because I know the next few years are tremendously important in developing her personality traits. I need to be careful what I say, how I act, how we present ourselves in front of her, what we teach her, and most importantly how we place boundaries on her. I have always been of the opinion that children need to be free to explore the curiosities of their world to the greatest extent their safety will allow. It is so hard to allow her to place herself in the way of some minor harm (like falling off of a kitchen counter, or slightly pinching a finger) yet I know it’s the fastest and most efficient way to get her to recognize danger and set her own limits. I will caution her on obvious dangers and she has learned to listen to my advice (most of the time anyway). These small things will hopefully add up to an inquisitive and alert little girl who is not afraid to get out there and explore and learn. There are some larger upcoming concepts that have me concerned. For one, there is always the possibility that she’ll come up with a sex related question out of the blue. I pretty much counted 3 as the age where this becomes a real possibility, but with every passing day the probability increases slightly. Not knowing the nature of the exact question makes it difficult to prepare for. Additionally, there is always the question of how much to tell her. Do I just answer the question as directly and narrowly as possible, or do I hint at more ground to cover and feed her curiosity and risk overwhelming her with too much information? I have read and heard that it’s best to just answer the question as directly as possible, but I know that is not always my nature with something so complex and multi-faceted. I some ways I want to preclude any fairy tales about how babies are made, but the query needs to be generated by her. There is also the religious difference between her parents which complicated things. It is tender ground and we have not really explored it very much. Recent events have highlighted just how unprepared we are for navigating such tricky terrain. We have agreed that the primary concern is to agree on how to proceed so that she hears the same message from both of us, rather than a theological argument between parents with her acting as a proxy and trying to process the conflicting information. We still haven’t come to a complete consensus on her starting Sunbeams this winter. I have some serious reservations about it, and we only have 4 months to develop a common solution. I am inclined to just say no, but I know that doesn’t take Nikki’s thoughts and feeling into account. I just see it being so much more damaging than productive, even with mutual discussion about what she learned after church. I think it is nearly time to start exploring other faiths in an effort to expose her to more than just what is in the Mormon Bubble. It’s not too hard to find a Christian church to attend, and there is the Krishna temple in Spanish Fork, but other faiths could be much more challenging. There are a few mosque’s and synagogue’s in SLC, a couple Bhuddist churches farther north, but I think we’ll end up just teaching things like the principles of Jainism ourselves. Perhaps it’s a little early for all that, but I want her to be aware that there are many more out there than what she will be primarily exposed to due to the place we live. One thing’s for sure, there are a number of principals which transcend almost all religions that we can agree on to educate her with. Fortunately these are also some of the easiest to understand and present, so they’re perfect for her. I guess a day at a time is the way to go for now.