Ouroboros

Well kids, it’s time for me to introduce the latest addition to the EXTREME sport family. I know you’ve all been anxiously awaiting this new form of adrenaline squirting, pulsing pounding, make you scream ‘til you pass out activity. This shall prove to be the most dangerous, most trying, most nerve racking EXTREME sport yet! I think I’ll call it EXTREME Baby Making! Yes that’s right folks, and the fun doesn’t stop there, no sir! It’s immediately followed by EXTREME Gestation (also known as EXTREME Trimesters) and then on to the grand finale’ EXTREME Delivery! This sport is by far the most EXTREME ever devised, as it takes 9 whole months to finish!! 9 MONTHS! In fact it is so EXTREME that it’ll take around 18 years for the side effects to wear off. These side effects may include but are by no means limited to: Nausea, heart burn, back pain, loss of sleep, morning sickness, frequent urination, strange cravings, weight gain, accumulation of really small outfits, loss of voice, frequent physician visitation, cessation of menstrual cycle, breast tenderness, shouting, insurance premium increases, random and violent mood changes, more loss of sleep, people you don’t know thinking it’s ok to touch your stomach, large amounts of cervical leakage, intense abdominal pain, even more intense abdominal pain, abdominal pain so intense you feel you may in fact die and take the person responsible for putting you in this state with you, sounds similar to that of small wounded animals, depression, frequent foul smells, even more loss of sleep, acquisition of strange furniture, broken or missing household items, electrocution, severe headaches, sense of regret, severe burns, short people invading your home, unexpected trips to the hospital, flood, loss of vocabulary, loss of privacy, and many other unpredictable and unexpected results.

Some of you may wonder what has prompted this outburst of sorts. Well it’s funny you should ask. As if the relationship between the Nikkinator and I didn’t contain enough foreshadowing and almost cliché like circumstances, there’s another to add to the heap. Of all days of the year, I find out on Fathers day that the Nikkinator is now a +1 Nikkinator (did she level somehow?). It all started a long time ago when God said “look, yonder is matter unorganized…” and the rest is history. It was kind of planned and kind of unplanned, but it is for sure now. Yesterday (Tuesday) we verified it with a clinical test and we’re about 5.5 weeks along (can you say “Made in Mexico”?). We’re still not sure how we feel about it, but we’ve got less than 8 months before we’ve got to be ready. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to cry myself to sleep under my desk.