A Weekend of Interactions

So over the labor day weekend, our home town did their annual celebration. This offers an opportunity to get out and see some of the people you live around and how they interact in social settings. For me, this offers an opportunity to confirm all the biases I have against people in general, and offers up a plethora of observations which make me question how/why our species has persisted this long, meanwhile speculating on just how much longer we will thrive.

The fun started Friday night when we had a to babysitter watch the chillins, and we went up to the top of Snowbird Ski resort to look at celestial objects through some nifty telescopes. The 1 hour introduction to astronomy was a little dry, but once we got to the top of the mountain things got pretty cool. There were probably 100 people in all that went up, but the wind was blowing a bit bringing the temperature down to around 40 or so. Half of them spent most of the time in the “warming hut” and went down early. There were only 25 or so there until the end. Most of the telescopes were 8-12” reflectors, though there was one automated scope that was pretty nice. Obviously we looked at the moon, which was almost blinding. Additionally, we looked at a few binary stars, the dumbbell and ring nebulas, the owl constellation, and a globular cluster. It was pretty neat, even though there was a fair amount of light pollution. I was glad that more than half of the attendants crapped out, it made the lines much shorter. There were only a few people taking pictures or using flashlights, so although annoying, it was minor. Then we headed down the mountain and got some dessert before spending the night at my in-laws.

On Saturday we went swimming at the pool. I don’t care for swimming in public pools for a number of reasons. Suffice it to say that I’d rather drink lake water that nasty warm salty soggy swim diaper kiddie pool water. Nevertheless, it was close to home, we had free tickets, and my daughter really wanted to go. We went with my sister, her husband, and their kids, and everyone seemed to have a generally good time. I know lifeguards are there to keep everyone “safe” but to be honest I’m pretty sure their job is to identify anyone who might be having fun, and proceed to stop it immediately. This did not happen to me, but to many around us. Want to have someone throw you in the air, so you can come crashing into the water? NEVER! Want to go underwater and grab someone’s legs, then lift them out of the water or pull them under? FORGET IT! Want to splash your friends from a few feet away? DAS IST VERBOTEN! Care to poop in the pool… go ahead, but everyone is going to have to get out now. Yea, that was how our swimming day ended. I think worse than knowing the fact that you were swimming in the pool where some kid had done the number two, was watching them scoop it out and then realizing the water was not to be refreshed before people were allowed back in. That is pretty gross if you ask me. Later that night we took Adria on a monster truck ride which she kind of enjoyed, but I think it also scared her a little bit. Then she got her face painted as a green kitty, and spent the rest of the night meowing adorably.

Sunday, Nikki took the kids to church while I cleaned the house a bit and worked on laundry… so THAT was some big fun. After church we went to a fish fry to consume the striped bass we’d caught at Lake Powell earlier in the year. The fish was great, and I was apparently designated the jungle gym for all the kiddies. We had a ball playing “tackle me” only it kind of turned into a game of pile-the-kids-up-and-sit-on- them. Only one got hurt, and it was Adria while I was swinging her around and a dog ran through my swinging space. The two collided and she bruised her leg pretty good. We went home and played on the swing out back with some glow sticks.

Monday was to be the big day for Adria. We started the day with a parade. I don’t care much for parades. There are too many people and they bother me. Additionally, people had been setting chairs out for at least 5 days, so you know there were going to be some EXTREME parade goers here. I had joked with Nikki about going out the night before the parade and swapping everyone’s chairs to the other side of the road, but we were pretty tired and it would have taken a lot of effort to move 2000+ chairs with the kind of precision I had in mind. So anyway, we found a nice spot on the grass near the ball field and I set up Ryker’s stroller in a comfy position so he could continue sleeping. Nikki had to stay home to work on some homework. Adria immediately took off her sandals and threw them on the grass. We were only there a few minutes before the parade began and oh how exciting it was (you know, floats and all… I’m being sarcastic). We were sitting back a bit from the road, so the little bit of candy being thrown wasn’t making it near us. I decided to take chuppa up closer next time someone was throwing our candy, so she could get a few pieces. It didn’t take maybe 3 minutes and she had a small handful, just enough to keep her satiated for a while. So we turned around to head back to our spot, only our spot was gone. Someone had set up a blanket right next to the stroller, and right on top of Adria’s shoes. As I walked back to get the stroller, I told Adria quite loudly that we’d have to move because someone had stolen our spot. She looked really sad which I thought was perfect. Then the lady that had set their blanket down says to me “oh, did we crowd you out?” to which I replied angrily, “yea, and you’re going to have to move your blanket so I can get my daughters shoes.”. She looked surprised and lifted up the blanket, I snatched the shoes and she said she was sorry as I walked away. We found a new spot before long and finished the parade. The most exciting thing was the monster truck they were giving rides in popped its front driveline right in front of us, stopping the parade for a few minutes. The thing really was a piece of crap in terms of workmanship, but it was a big deal for a 3 year old. I was glad to see this year that not a single politician was advertising in the parade (probably because it’s not an election year. Last year it was pretty bad. Every 4th or 5th car was “ FOR CITY ” and they’d run around frantically trying to shake people’s hands and have a “meaningful” 2 second conversation, usually about the fact that they were running for office (as if we hadn’t noticed).

Later that day we went to the carnival. I just have to say that I think there are only two main reasons that these carnivals use tickets instead of paying at the ride. (1) So that the operators don’t have to worry about making change. (2) So that the true cost of each ride is less visible to people. After all, who goes around back calculating the conversion ratio of dollars to tickets per ride (I mean other than myself)? It’s really a racket, and all the little kiddies will pay up because they can only ride once a year. So, chuppa had fun on the rides. Some were a little scary at first, but by the end she always had a big grin on her face. She was throwing her hands in the air on the ferris wheel and having a ball. While we were waiting between rides (right after the ferris wheel) I felt a rather large wet thing hit my hand. The skies were looking pretty dark and cloudy, so I figured it was about to start raining. Then I noticed that if the drop was that big, there should be a lot more of them. At that point I looked at my hand and saw what was obviously someone’s spit. I looked up sharply only to see a small head disappear quickly behind car number 3 on the ferris wheel. So I walked up to the operator and asked if I could have a word with the kids in car 3 because one of them had just spit on me. He was more than happy to comply, and I could see the look of terror on the kids face when as the car came around it slowed to a stop with me standing on the exit platform. I came right out and asked which one of them had spit on me, and they both flatly denied it. One of them kept glancing at the other in short rapid movements, so I asked him in a very loud and angry voice if he thought it was funny to spit on people. I could tell the operator was both enjoying the confrontation, but at the same time wasn’t sure what I was going to do to the kid. The kid finally admitted that he had spit, but that he had done it backwards over the wheel, not forwards. I told him that I thought that was a lie, and that I’d like an apology. I thought seriously about breaking his little nose, but the one thing that stopped me was just how serious a charge “assault of a minor” is and settled for having scared him (besides, they’d crucify me in the news). He apologized, almost on the verge of tears, and I said “alright now it’s up to the operator to let you finish the ride or not”. The operator told them to get off and not come back. It kind of felt good, but at the same time I wanted more than just an apology. I think in hindsight I should have asked for the remainder of their tickets and let Adria go on a few more rides. I’m not sure if it reveals anything that I didn’t already know about myself that I would have flat out punched a kid if it hadn’t been for all the witnesses and legal consequences. Maybe if a few more children were punched by people they thoroughly pissed off, they would piss off less people.

On the whole, between the kid spitting on me, the idiotic lady at the parade stealing my spot, the lady smoking within a few feet of the kids playground, kids that poop in the pool, the dozen or so that nearly walked into me because they were texting while walking and not paying attention to their surroundings, the fat disgusting lady making her grandson go beg for strawberries on her funnel cake because she didn’t give him enough money in the first place, the people that put crap under your windshield wipers while you’re at an event, the moron that flooded the toilet in the men’s bathroom, all the people who leave their chairs out for a week in expectation of a parade, and the people selling “survival bracelets”, I have just about had it with “people” for now. It would be nice to think that this was some kind of fluke, and I just happened to run into a few morons this weekend, but I think the truth is that this was a fairly representative sample of what we as a species are becoming. None of it was new, nor was any of it particularly harmful, just discourteous, thoughtless and insensitive. I know I always say this, but perhaps I should stop being such a pushover. Maybe I should entertain a vulgar verbal assault of ignorant women who take my spot, or bloody the face of delinquent children. Maybe then I’ll go from the guy that no one ever remembers to the asshole that no one can forget.