Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Happy He Haw Whore Hanger

Well, My days of punishment are now over. I am no longer at Bear Creek, wasting my youth packaging soup. Instead i will be starting my New job at US Synthetic tomorrow, something which makes me very happy. In fact this past week has been the ......happening time ( ? i am kinda tired right now so thinking will not happen while this is written) of several good tidings. For instance, my job change. Also, Nikki and i have some people who genuinely seem interestedin buying our house. In fact they have given us a verbal offer, and we are hopeful of getting something in writing this week. My sister has been trying to get the Dead Beat biological father of her child to release any and all rights so that Luke, her Betrothed, can legally adopt her. Anyway he had been resisting but this week finally saw why it would be to his benifit. So that is VERY good news. Also our stupid car is up for sale now and all through it's breaking period and what not. hmmm....what else. Ah yes, Despite getting my butt absolutly kicked in the Hunting draws this year i will be hunting Spike Elk and Archery Deer later this fall. While at first this seems crappy, it will leave me some extra time for hunting Ducks and Geese in the early season, and since there is an abundance of water it may actually be worth attempting this year.

Suddenly i feel like saying Naked Bathroom Trivia for no other reason than to apease my wierd side which has been forced to dwell deep inside of me since i started working at Bear Creek. I am looking forward to regaining my somewhat starchy wit, and fecies-like sence of humor which seems to surprise even the most stalwhart prude.

The Offroad beast project is going well as just tonight i was welding the rear suspension mounts into place. After this the Land Rover body is ready to go on, something i wil not be able to do alone i'm afraid. I also need to build a motor for it, something i am very much looking forward to. Especially since i already have the motor and i just need to rebuild it. So far this project has cost me a total of $75. WOO HOO, however it has come at the cost of my wife asking "When are you going to get rid of all this junk?" about every day. Anyway i know this post is really lame and i apologise. My next one will be guaranteed to refresh and lighten with laughter and gigglefarts. Bylatersis.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

I have spoken thus let it be written that "Intrepid" and "Dodge" are now four letter words

For those of you who may not already know i had some...... fun last December rebuilding the low end in our '98 Dodge Intrepid due to design flaws. Unfortunatly, the flaw seems to render the car completely incapable of handling normal driving for 3000 miles on the same batch of oil. My research has concluded that the Oil in the Intrepid 2.7L engines should be changed at least every 1500 miles to maintain drivability under normal circumstances. Also, this motor is incapable of "stressful" conditions for any period of time. The result....ONE PISSED OFF BUBBA!!!!! I have been building motors since i was 7 years old and have NEVER had to build the same one twice, with the exception my dads 400 small block but it had close to 150,000 miles of torture and was burning oil. Last thursday i recieved a call from Nikki stating that the dodge was making "Bad" noises. She didn't want to drive it home but instead wanted me to drop off the "Sub" on the way home and take the Dodge to see what i thought it was. By the time i got homw i was so angry i charged in the house and put my foot through one of our puppy gates (this was after debating the entire way inside the house about what i could destroy because if i tried to hold this in i was going to light the car on fire!!). After destroying the puppy gate i thought back to the idea of lighting the car on fire, or at least buying a mouth guard and putting on my Motorcycle helmet and wrapping this car around a tree at 75 miles per hour. Fortunatly my training on recognising insurance fraud kicked in and i started to think of "logical" ways to solve this problem. I changed clothed and drove it over to the garage and then, realizing it was going to be a very late night, ordered pizza. The motor was completely disassembled by 2:30 and i delivered the Crankshaft and connecting rode to Cleggs Automotive machine shop in the morning. After this i tried to have a normal weekend and went camping with my whole family. Then the next Friday (Yesterday) i Picked up the machined parts and started going back together. I started at Noon and had the motor back in one piece by Midnight. Today i stuffed it back in the car and went through an engine break-in procedure (note the use of the word stuffed in this sentence. This is done strategicaly to illistrate the absolute lack of working room in the engine compartment despite the abnormally large width of the actual car itself, thus nullifying the need for me to waste good typing space explaining why in the world it took all bloody day to install this motor in spite of my ample experience with this procedure in other vehicles).

At any rate the car is back together and in as good of running condition as it was designed to be in, which is barely acceptable by anyones terms. It also has a new feature added just after completion of the motor install. A paper in the passenger side window detailing the features of the car and headed with the words '98 Dodge Intrepid For Sale. My duities as a friend prohibit me from selling this car to anyone i know. So there you have it, the reasons why the words "Dodge" and "Intrepid" are now four letter words to me.

P.S. Congratulations to Rick and Eryn on their recent union. ~~YEA!!~~
P.S.S. Dave is cool for reasons that need no explaining.