A Weekend of Interactions

So over the labor day weekend, our home town did their annual celebration. This offers an opportunity to get out and see some of the people you live around and how they interact in social settings. For me, this offers an opportunity to confirm all the biases I have against people in general, and offers up a plethora of observations which make me question how/why our species has persisted this long, meanwhile speculating on just how much longer we will thrive.

The fun started Friday night when we had a to babysitter watch the chillins, and we went up to the top of Snowbird Ski resort to look at celestial objects through some nifty telescopes. The 1 hour introduction to astronomy was a little dry, but once we got to the top of the mountain things got pretty cool. There were probably 100 people in all that went up, but the wind was blowing a bit bringing the temperature down to around 40 or so. Half of them spent most of the time in the “warming hut” and went down early. There were only 25 or so there until the end. Most of the telescopes were 8-12” reflectors, though there was one automated scope that was pretty nice. Obviously we looked at the moon, which was almost blinding. Additionally, we looked at a few binary stars, the dumbbell and ring nebulas, the owl constellation, and a globular cluster. It was pretty neat, even though there was a fair amount of light pollution. I was glad that more than half of the attendants crapped out, it made the lines much shorter. There were only a few people taking pictures or using flashlights, so although annoying, it was minor. Then we headed down the mountain and got some dessert before spending the night at my in-laws.

On Saturday we went swimming at the pool. I don’t care for swimming in public pools for a number of reasons. Suffice it to say that I’d rather drink lake water that nasty warm salty soggy swim diaper kiddie pool water. Nevertheless, it was close to home, we had free tickets, and my daughter really wanted to go. We went with my sister, her husband, and their kids, and everyone seemed to have a generally good time. I know lifeguards are there to keep everyone “safe” but to be honest I’m pretty sure their job is to identify anyone who might be having fun, and proceed to stop it immediately. This did not happen to me, but to many around us. Want to have someone throw you in the air, so you can come crashing into the water? NEVER! Want to go underwater and grab someone’s legs, then lift them out of the water or pull them under? FORGET IT! Want to splash your friends from a few feet away? DAS IST VERBOTEN! Care to poop in the pool… go ahead, but everyone is going to have to get out now. Yea, that was how our swimming day ended. I think worse than knowing the fact that you were swimming in the pool where some kid had done the number two, was watching them scoop it out and then realizing the water was not to be refreshed before people were allowed back in. That is pretty gross if you ask me. Later that night we took Adria on a monster truck ride which she kind of enjoyed, but I think it also scared her a little bit. Then she got her face painted as a green kitty, and spent the rest of the night meowing adorably.

Sunday, Nikki took the kids to church while I cleaned the house a bit and worked on laundry… so THAT was some big fun. After church we went to a fish fry to consume the striped bass we’d caught at Lake Powell earlier in the year. The fish was great, and I was apparently designated the jungle gym for all the kiddies. We had a ball playing “tackle me” only it kind of turned into a game of pile-the-kids-up-and-sit-on- them. Only one got hurt, and it was Adria while I was swinging her around and a dog ran through my swinging space. The two collided and she bruised her leg pretty good. We went home and played on the swing out back with some glow sticks.

Monday was to be the big day for Adria. We started the day with a parade. I don’t care much for parades. There are too many people and they bother me. Additionally, people had been setting chairs out for at least 5 days, so you know there were going to be some EXTREME parade goers here. I had joked with Nikki about going out the night before the parade and swapping everyone’s chairs to the other side of the road, but we were pretty tired and it would have taken a lot of effort to move 2000+ chairs with the kind of precision I had in mind. So anyway, we found a nice spot on the grass near the ball field and I set up Ryker’s stroller in a comfy position so he could continue sleeping. Nikki had to stay home to work on some homework. Adria immediately took off her sandals and threw them on the grass. We were only there a few minutes before the parade began and oh how exciting it was (you know, floats and all… I’m being sarcastic). We were sitting back a bit from the road, so the little bit of candy being thrown wasn’t making it near us. I decided to take chuppa up closer next time someone was throwing our candy, so she could get a few pieces. It didn’t take maybe 3 minutes and she had a small handful, just enough to keep her satiated for a while. So we turned around to head back to our spot, only our spot was gone. Someone had set up a blanket right next to the stroller, and right on top of Adria’s shoes. As I walked back to get the stroller, I told Adria quite loudly that we’d have to move because someone had stolen our spot. She looked really sad which I thought was perfect. Then the lady that had set their blanket down says to me “oh, did we crowd you out?” to which I replied angrily, “yea, and you’re going to have to move your blanket so I can get my daughters shoes.”. She looked surprised and lifted up the blanket, I snatched the shoes and she said she was sorry as I walked away. We found a new spot before long and finished the parade. The most exciting thing was the monster truck they were giving rides in popped its front driveline right in front of us, stopping the parade for a few minutes. The thing really was a piece of crap in terms of workmanship, but it was a big deal for a 3 year old. I was glad to see this year that not a single politician was advertising in the parade (probably because it’s not an election year. Last year it was pretty bad. Every 4th or 5th car was “ FOR CITY ” and they’d run around frantically trying to shake people’s hands and have a “meaningful” 2 second conversation, usually about the fact that they were running for office (as if we hadn’t noticed).

Later that day we went to the carnival. I just have to say that I think there are only two main reasons that these carnivals use tickets instead of paying at the ride. (1) So that the operators don’t have to worry about making change. (2) So that the true cost of each ride is less visible to people. After all, who goes around back calculating the conversion ratio of dollars to tickets per ride (I mean other than myself)? It’s really a racket, and all the little kiddies will pay up because they can only ride once a year. So, chuppa had fun on the rides. Some were a little scary at first, but by the end she always had a big grin on her face. She was throwing her hands in the air on the ferris wheel and having a ball. While we were waiting between rides (right after the ferris wheel) I felt a rather large wet thing hit my hand. The skies were looking pretty dark and cloudy, so I figured it was about to start raining. Then I noticed that if the drop was that big, there should be a lot more of them. At that point I looked at my hand and saw what was obviously someone’s spit. I looked up sharply only to see a small head disappear quickly behind car number 3 on the ferris wheel. So I walked up to the operator and asked if I could have a word with the kids in car 3 because one of them had just spit on me. He was more than happy to comply, and I could see the look of terror on the kids face when as the car came around it slowed to a stop with me standing on the exit platform. I came right out and asked which one of them had spit on me, and they both flatly denied it. One of them kept glancing at the other in short rapid movements, so I asked him in a very loud and angry voice if he thought it was funny to spit on people. I could tell the operator was both enjoying the confrontation, but at the same time wasn’t sure what I was going to do to the kid. The kid finally admitted that he had spit, but that he had done it backwards over the wheel, not forwards. I told him that I thought that was a lie, and that I’d like an apology. I thought seriously about breaking his little nose, but the one thing that stopped me was just how serious a charge “assault of a minor” is and settled for having scared him (besides, they’d crucify me in the news). He apologized, almost on the verge of tears, and I said “alright now it’s up to the operator to let you finish the ride or not”. The operator told them to get off and not come back. It kind of felt good, but at the same time I wanted more than just an apology. I think in hindsight I should have asked for the remainder of their tickets and let Adria go on a few more rides. I’m not sure if it reveals anything that I didn’t already know about myself that I would have flat out punched a kid if it hadn’t been for all the witnesses and legal consequences. Maybe if a few more children were punched by people they thoroughly pissed off, they would piss off less people.

On the whole, between the kid spitting on me, the idiotic lady at the parade stealing my spot, the lady smoking within a few feet of the kids playground, kids that poop in the pool, the dozen or so that nearly walked into me because they were texting while walking and not paying attention to their surroundings, the fat disgusting lady making her grandson go beg for strawberries on her funnel cake because she didn’t give him enough money in the first place, the people that put crap under your windshield wipers while you’re at an event, the moron that flooded the toilet in the men’s bathroom, all the people who leave their chairs out for a week in expectation of a parade, and the people selling “survival bracelets”, I have just about had it with “people” for now. It would be nice to think that this was some kind of fluke, and I just happened to run into a few morons this weekend, but I think the truth is that this was a fairly representative sample of what we as a species are becoming. None of it was new, nor was any of it particularly harmful, just discourteous, thoughtless and insensitive. I know I always say this, but perhaps I should stop being such a pushover. Maybe I should entertain a vulgar verbal assault of ignorant women who take my spot, or bloody the face of delinquent children. Maybe then I’ll go from the guy that no one ever remembers to the asshole that no one can forget.

Theological Ramblings

So here’s a rather random post. It’s about a silly idea I’ve entertained for a long time, more or less out of boredom with the typical explanations of existence. It seems to me that if some people believe there is an all-powerful entity beyond the realm of physical dimensions we observe, as well as time itself, then presumably they likewise hold that there is some boundary (be it physical or otherwise) beyond which our notions of causality break down. If this is the case then my little notion is just as likely as other theological explanations I’ve heard.

Suppose there is only one conscience in the entirety of existence. Think of it as just one person. The universe this “being” finds itself in is in all actuality a manifestation of its own mind, which is itself just a consequence of existence. To put it another way, this non-physical creature exists, but is only aware of the reality held within its own mind. Within this mind lies what we perceive to be the physical universe (space and time). This creature is not the creator of this space, it is the consequence of a conscious mind needing a framework within which to work (this sounds a lot more complicated than it is). Within this “mind-space” the creature becomes a physical being with a history, a present existence and an unknown future, much like a dream over which one has no control. This internal existence manifests very simply at first, like a tiny particle with no volume, a point particle with no properties. After some countless time the dream cycle returns on itself, but some of the previous memories seem to return involuntarily and intrude into the new dream cycle. This has the effect of increasing complexity, as the new idea can build on and interact with the old. The next manifestation may come as a particle with some weight, or charge, or spin (obviously I’m using physical traits with which I am familiar, but this does not have to be the case).

This recurring trend of cycling dreamlike existence with bleed through from previous cycles builds and builds until you have a universe which resembles our own. The laws which govern this space are never “created” but rather are themselves consequences of very early occurrences over which the dreamer had no control (they just kind of “happened”). After some time, the dreams take a twist and the dreamer becomes a self-replicating molecule. It is able to make copies of itself, and finds this irresistible. Eventually the molecule is destroyed (perhaps after some considerable time) and the cycle renews. Once again, some of the complexity is pulled through and the “universe” in which this creature dwells takes finer form.

Although the dreamer never becomes aware of this, it is interacting with the manifestations of its own imagination. In a sense, it is interacting with previous versions of itself, only in the same space and time. As the cycles continue, the creature expounds upon multicellular forms, advanced forms of self-replication, a myriad of complex forms, and interactions with these other forms. The ultimate consequence is what you and I perceive as individuality. Though we are only “ideas” in the mind of some self-unaware entity which exists outside of anything we understand, we think ourselves special and unique. We begin to refer to the dreamer as God, guessing at the nature of its intentions. The others with which we interact are manifestations from previous cycles, though some distortions (however minor) occur between the spaces, some like a nightmare. The chain of events which created us is too long and complex to be repeated exactly, and could never have been planned as the dreamer was never in control to begin with. Though many parts of our perceived universe have already “lived” the future, they are bound to our timeline. Within that timeline they have not yet lived through their entirety, thus the future remains a mystery to all on the same timeline.

As the cycles progress, the dreamer explores philosophy and science to degrees which seem endless. Eventually, the manifestations discover small signs of the cycle’s complex workings and realize they may be able to “see the future” with sufficient studying. They interrogate and probe their world restlessly. The dreamer stirs, and the manifestations ultimately realize that the dreamer has created everything, has lived as every possible “thing” for countless eons, and has been interacting with itself the entire time. At this realization the dreamer awakes and the existence created in its mind vanishes entirely. The dreamer now exists without self-awareness, without space or time, without any means of conception. Perhaps, the dreamer will again find itself with a mind, but it is impossible to tell. There is no time, no consequence, no law, nothing but a concept with an unknown potential to create something rare, strange and beautiful which can never be shared but from within itself.

It should be said that I do not hold this belief, nor is it particularly original. It seemed original when I first had the notion sometime in my childhood, but has invariably been influenced by my surroundings. Nevertheless, I think it’s on par with other more mainstream ideas of origins and universal purpose.