Adventures on the 75 foot Epic Fail-boat

As some of you mat be aware, this past weekend (namely the 15th through the 19th) Nikki’s family was holding a family reunion at Lake Powell. Apparently, the proceedings were funded by Nikki’s grandmothers estate as one of her final requests. Due to the large number of people attending (around 20), the boat would need to be rather large to accommodate the masses. Plans were made, food prepared, and reservations held. A 75 foot house boat capable of sleeping everyone, a smaller “speed boat” and a number of Jetski’s were to be on hand for use by all of an appropriate age. I had my reservations at first. I have been to the Christmas parties, seen all of the teens and twenty something’s. I figured it’d be a week on a boat in very hot weather with nothing to do because inconsiderate younger people had taken, destroyed, or run out of fuel every interesting piece of water craft available. However, as the weeks counted down into days, I received word that most of the younger people would not be attending, and those that would be were too young to legally operate such equipment. I began to get excited thinking that I might actually get to have a bit of fun on a day or two of this escapade. Then word came that we may actually be getting an inside cabin, instead of sleeping on the upper deck. I started researching diving locations on Lake Powell and exploring the fishing prospects, both of which left me more excited. I scheduled a diving trip, and procured all of the necessary equipment. After looking into fishing, I picked up a few new lures and educated myself on how to fish for Striped Bass (along with Small Mouth and Large Mouth). I even contemplated buying a Hawaiian sling (a cheap yet very effective underwater spear) for the Stripers and Carp. I was getting pretty excited, and as the days turned into hours I packed everything, made list after list of things we still needed to get together, things we needed to do when we got down there, and things which were already done. Nikki was working on homework for her classes, so it was pretty just much me pulling everything together. By Wednesday night, all we needed to do was throw some ice packs in the cooler, load everyone up, and we were on our way. You may have heard that Nikki has started graduate school, and had begun her first two classes in May. One of these classes was to terminate in a final which was to be taken online on Friday… which put it in the middle of the first full day of our vacation. Nikki found a place at the marina she could take the final, all we needed to do was get there from the house boat some time on Friday between noon and 9pm (central time), as this was the ONLY time the professor would open the test. Nikki checked with her mom who thought that would be fine, and plans were made accordingly. Thursday morning came, and after some argument about what time we should get up (I wanted to leave no later than 6:30, and… lets just say I didn’t get my way) we were on our way. The drive was fairly pretty, but we had to cruise at a pretty good clip to get there on time. No tickets, but I was generally going about 15 over the given speed limit when traffic would allow (I HATE minivans… especially from California). I wanted to be there at noon so I could catch the hour long orientation of the boat and, presumably, be able to functionally operate it if the need arose. We were too late, so we just went straight into Page Arizona to pick up our scuba gear. We then headed for the boat, and began to unload our stuff. Over half of the stuff we brought was diving related, and took up a fair amount of room (4 tanks and two very large duffle bags to be precise). The rest was a duffel containing our clothes, some fishing stuff, and some kitchen and food related items we were assigned to bring. After loading it all up, I needed to go up to the marina store and get a bag of ice, and a reciprocal fishing license. Lake Powell splits the border between Utah and Arizona, and current regulations require fishermen to obtain fishing privileges from both states. So I left Adria and Nikki on the boat, and went to get my stuff. It took about 20 minutes, but I finally found what I needed. The fishing license cost half of what I was expecting and the ice cost about 4 times what I had expected, but in the end it all washed out. I parked the car and made the very hot walk back down to the boat. The bag of ice on my shoulder felt fantastic, but at the same time I was quickly melting $8 worth of ice I badly needed to make my homemade ice cream. When I got back to the boat I was hot, tired, had low blood sugar from having not eaten since breakfast (before the 5 and a half hour drive) and just wanted to get on, find a quiet spot on the boat and enjoy the ride. As I stepped onto the boat, Nikki (looking visibly upset) told me that there was a “serious” problem. Apparently, her Uncle had been arranging everything and there was some miscommunication between parties. It would NOT be possible to get back to the marina on Friday for Nikki to take her test. This led to a decision, either we remain on the boat and just forget about her final (likely resulting in a failure and costing us over $2000 for her to take the class again, not to mention the damage to her transcript and the possibility of being kicked out of the program) or we get off of the boat and go home (passing on what will likely be a once in a lifetime opportunity). I tried my best to find alternate solutions, but either the heat or just my lack of cleverness made the effort fruitless. Jetski’s… not enough fuel. The smaller boat… privately owned and the owner was apparently not willing to take us back (or something). Could she take it on her cell phone over a 3G network, signal was spotty at best and the final had a large essay portion… not easily completed on a touch screen phone keyboard. There were no viable alternatives. By this time, people were edgy because of the heat and the fact that we were a bit late leaving the dock. We were being forced to make a decision quickly and so we decided to get all our stuff off the boat and go home. Forced into a position a simple phone call would have prevented, we loaded all of our stuff back into the car. Quietly, we drove back to Page and returned the scuba equipment we had rented (fortunately, the guy did not charge us for the rental). It was then decided that I needed to get some food or I was likely going to kill someone. We had a sub par meal at the “Dam Grill” where the service was horrible and the conversation nonexistent. Then we got in the car and, with Adria sadly saying “I wanna go on the boat”, drove another 5 and a half hours home. We arrived just before 10pm, brought in the few perishable things from the car, and went to bed. I could kind of feel that I was getting too excited about the trip, but I was under the delusion that all of the critical bases had been covered. This was the biggest disappointment I have had in a very long time, and I am troubled to think of the long term implications it will have on my already “not-exactly-peachy” outlook on things in general. So rather than play on the lake all weekend, I got up early on Saturday morning to rent a trencher and spent the rest of the weekend installing a new sprinkler system in our backyard in near 100 degree heat. And THAT was my summer vacation… THE END.