Very well, the time has come. It’s Bloggin’ time! Let’s see. The Nikkinator is… well pregnant of course. School is wrapping up and will soon be finished, LAN parties will have to take place, and Christmas will be punching us all in the tender spots. Having finished all my Christmas shopping already and avoiding human contact as much as possible, I feel I am prepared to tolerate the season. One thing that we usually do every year is buy a tree permit and go cut down our own. In the process we end up having a great time, get some good exercise, see some beautiful country and come home with a tree that usually about 4 feet too tall for even the largest part of our house and a bunch of stories. Basically it’s a lot of fun and had become a tradition. This year, however, our little tradition will have to spend some time in the toilet because my little soldiers have marched to and conquered Berlin if you know what I mean. Some of you might be asking why it is that a pregnant woman can’t participate in getting a Christmas tree. Obviously you’ve never seen or heard about the crap we go through in order to get said tree. Here are a few examples: Last year we had to rent snow shoes because there was about 4 feet of snow. Not only that, but we had to travel over 3 miles round trip to get into the area I wanted to be in. I then had to drag this huge tree through the snow. By the end of that trip I was more tired and exhausted than I have ever been before in my life. One year I got my truck stuck WAY out in the middle of nowhere and had to spend 5 hours digging out with the help of about 15 snowmobilers. Basically it’s not a great idea to have a pregnant woman around me when I’m going into the wilderness because the odds of her survival drop a bit. Anyway, we’re going to have to buy a tree from a lot this year. You know what bugs me? I have a really nice pair of dress shoes (and that just pisses me off!). No really, they were the most expensive pair of shoes I’ve ever bought and they look very nice. When I bought them I asked the guy about any kind of repairs if something went wrong or whatever and he said that all Floresheim shoes come with a craftsmanship warrantee. Well about 9 months after I bought them, the store went out of business which means that their warrantee vanished like a fart in the wind. This doesn’t make me too upset because the shoes have worn well with one exception. They squeak. I don’t mean they make a tiny little leather movement squeak either, I mean I sound like GIR from Invader Zim when I walk. What’s worse is that I usually only wear them when I am trying to look sharp because I want these shoes to last me a long time based on the price. This means that I have to avoid giggling while I walk my way down to say a Job interview or through church (where I try to look angry so people don’t talk to me). It’s not easy looking angry on the outside while quotes from everyone’s favorite “advanced” little robot minion rocket through my head. Come to think of it, shoes just suck. If it weren’t for winter I’d say to hell with it and just go around barefoot all the time like a freakishly large and well spoken hobbit. I have the hardest time finding shoes that will fit my feet! And it can get expensive when you have to special order shoes because the only ones they have in your size are two pair of loafers which look as though they are the taxedermified product of an illegitimate relationship between an Ewok and a manual transmission. But what can you do? In the end I need shoes, women are still evil and manipulative (although it can work for you in certain VERY RARE situations), and I’m still going to hell. Life goes on!
