Dreams of a gamers Linux...

So it’s Monday again, and I don’t recall there being a weekend. Then again I spent Saturday moving all of my garage crap over to our house and Sunday working on my crawler. So I guess the weekend happened, it was just more work that the week usually is. Well my front axle is officially mounted. I hadn’t expected it to go that smoothly but it’d there. Also, next time we have a shin-dig over at my place you’re all hereby recruited to help me lift something. It should only take about 5 minutes and if we can get 4 people it’ll be pretty easy. The antelope hunt is drawing near, and the cooler temperatures are giving me the itch to get out and kill something. Nikki will be hunting this year too, and I look forward to helping her bag her first big game animal. I took her out shooting the other day to make sure she was comfortable with the gun she’d be using and she did pretty well. I think she’ll be fine and I hope she’s excited. Well as many of you know, my RAID setup in my computer bit the big one last HDR. Indeed it was one of the hard drives, so my whole system was toasted. I have all of my Red Dwarf and other videos on a separate hard drive and I hope I can get access to that drive once I am set back up. O ordered another drive (this time it’s a Western Digital) and according to the UPS tracking number it should be on my front porch when I get home. So I should be able to attend the next HDR with a running machine. I have an official recommendation for the next stupid movie night. Nikki and I sat down and watched it last night and it is absolutely perfect for the occasion. The 1960’s version of Batman, complete with trained explosive sharks, ball point bananas and villains that are scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of evil plots. I wouldn’t put it in the same category of The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, but I think it’d be great to heckle. Since school has started up again, I find myself running back and forth between class and work everyday. Chemistry is kind of boring so far in that we’re covering things that people of the age of the attending students should’ve known for years. I am sure it’s a nice refresher to cover some of this (a refresher of 4^th grade) but common sense has got to be a part of peoples lives. I think the first class you take in college should be Common sense 101, where you “refresh” how to tie your shoes and make it to the bathroom on time! Seriously, we’re talking basics stuff here. Anyway, Calculus is moving kind of slow as well, although we’re actually covering decent material. I think my basis of comparison may be a bit skewed though because the only other class I have taken on campus was my summer block Trigonometry/Chinese class. The third class I am taking this semester is Psychology. This class is just a joke so far. It’s an online class, and the web site is a complete mess. There are no explanations about what the assignments are or how you’re supposed to complete them. In the discussion board there are endless comments from confused students wondering what they should be doing. From what I have gathered, the first assignment is supposed be a short essay that introduces you to the teacher so they can “get to know you”. Personally I doubt that they even read these, but see that you did it and give you a grade based on the title of the paper. (example grading scale: -20% for using the word “introduction” in the title, +20% for sexual innuendo in the title, -20% for putting your name in the title and -20% more for being male or having a name that SHOULD be a man’s name, -40% for spelling out numbers in the title, full credit for not having a title or having a title that reads “Why I love psychology!”, etc) I’m not impressed so far. But I trudge on none the less. Here’s a good idea, lets see what is happening in the world that is important enough in the world to be reported to the masses. Hmm, well it appears a woman’s car was crashed while she was giving her dog driving lessons in china. (http://www.ksl.com/?nid=333&sid=452351) That’s worthy of my time to read! It seems Finland had the right idea about cell phones when they held a competition to see who could throw their phone the farthest. The winner made it out to 292 feet. Not bad. (http://www.ksl.com/?nid=333&sid=452341) And despite the heavenly object still existing, people are freaking out about Pluto being classified as anything other than a planet. Does it matter? Will any of us ever set foot on that planet... oidish... thingy? NO!!! What else? Looks like a bunch of useless nonsense like “La-Z-Boy Aims to Return to Profitability”. Well that would be good wouldn’t it? Just imagine a company that makes money. It’s really sad when all they can find to report on is the health status of a pair of congested kittens. Isn’t there a war going on in Iraq and Afghanistan? How about this? “Woman gives birth to a healthy baby… girl? The woman, Erika Nelson, gave birth today August 28^th 2006 after being… pregnant? Well anyway, Congratulations Drew and Erika!!!

Mothers and flowers and sunshine and children...

Well it’s Wednesday ( he he, happy hump day) and I was supposed to start school this morning. So I go two-steppin’ (I used this instead of beboppin’) in to the chemistry department and find my class, when I realize that the whole floor is covered in construction equipment (Why it took me that long to realize it, I have no explanation. Suffice it to say that I don’t like mornings). After walking into class and expecting to be greeted by the smiling (or grinning, depending on how you look at it) face of my new professor, I note that I am the only one standing in the chemistry lab. As I exited the room I noticed a bright pink paper attached to the door (Again I haven’t got any good excuses for having not noticed it before) which elaborates on the details of the constriction project and its expected completion date in the middle of September. So I left. I DO have to go back in the afternoon though for Calculus, but I should be able to make it to HDR tonight. Due to a crammed schedule, the hunts being so close and a few other reasons, the camping trip will most likely not take place. As a suitable substitute I thought we might have a LAN party sometime in the next month or two and do some “camping” that way. This can either take place at my house or at some other location, what ever anyone feels like. If y’all don’t feel like it then maybe I’ll play alone one of these days and camp by myself. As always, I’ve been on the lookout for interesting things that might make a good “snippet” in the “plange” that is my Blog. However, more often than not, lately when I observe people, places, and general happenings in the world around me, I become… emotional. I know what some of you may be thinking. “Has he gone soft?” or “I didn’t think he had feelings.” or maybe “Where is my Van Halen T-shirt?” but the fact remains that my observations tend to invoke feelings. Are these the kinds of feelings that inspire men to write timeless songs about beauty and divine grace? No. They are more of the feelings that inspire men to jump off buildings without regard to their height and the consequences that may follow (very shortly mind you) from this decision. Yes I become angry. It seems that there are infinite ways in which people can manifest their stupidity and general lack of consideration for others and themselves. In short, it seems more than a few people are still running a 386. This is normally where I’d launch into some boring and long winded condemnation of the things I’ve seen, but not today. Instead I’d like to talk to you about bread. Bread? Yea, bread. You see, no matter what goes on in the world around you or how frustrated you become there is always one friend you can count on, and that friend is bread. It comes in more shapes, sizes and varieties than one can imagine and hasn’t changed significantly in the last 5000 years or so. Just think of it. It’s light and fluffy (Unless it’s not, then it isn’t), and goes with anything. It is the perfect place for jelly to lay, and when mated with peanut butter it becomes lunch. (it may concern some of you that I used the words mated and lunch in the same sentence, and that’s fine) Bread is a blend of stoichiometry, semi-micro biology, and physics. Bread can defy the weak forces of gravity, and even has the power to manipulate the fabric of space and time in your bowels. Yes bread is a wonderful thing. Something else that’s neat is bug killer, it’s my friend too. I have been committing genocide around the house in an effort to establish myself as the dominant species in my own little corner of the word. As many of you know, I have been building a Rock Crawler for about the past year. It’s by no means complete but I did pass a massive milestone recently. I’ve been on the lookout for a Flat Bed trailer to carry said crawler when it is complete, and I came across one just the other day. I have also been doing research on the type of front axle I wanted to use. All information I could find was pointing me to one known as the Dana 60. That’s fine so get one, right? Well, if money isn’t an issue in YOUR life then yes. Currently they are going for about $1000 for one that needs to be rebuilt and up to $3500 for one that has been rebuilt and has a locker. Mind you this is just for one axle. So I had put the hopes of obtaining one on the back burner for a while and started planning other things to work on. Anyway, as I went to look at this trailer I mentioned, I noticed a Dodge truck in the corner that was looking pretty dilapidated and ignored. After about 3 more steps I remembered that in my research I had read that the Dodge 1 ton trucks typically had Dana 60 front ends. Well my curiosity got the best of me so I bent down to take a look and indeed it was. I was excited but disappointed at the same time, because I knew he’d want a lot of money for it. So I asked if the guy wanted to get rid of the axles and he said that I could have both for $1500. Originally I thought he meant both axles, which is about market price and I don’t have the money. Then he clarified that both meant the truck and the trailer, which he was asking $800 for. We talked a bit more and came to the agreement that I could have both axles and the trailer for $1100, which breaks out to roughly $800 for the trailer (fair), $200 for the Dana 60 (WAY discounted) and $100 for the rear which has turned out to be a Dana 70 (worth about $400 and it’s currently listed on KSL). Long story short (too late) I get a really cool and expensive axle for basically nothing. So I am happy, and I’m eating Bread so I am more happiester. YAY!!!

Lets take things a step further...

I have a proposition. In light of the over reaction of lawmakers to the game “Bully” (see a trailer here: http://media.ps2.ign.com/media/746/746536/vids_1.html ) where the objective is to beat up bully’s in a new school, I have come up with my OWN idea for a game. For those of you who have respect for our senators, congressmen, governor, and other elected representatives, please tune out now and go have a serious think about why you’re allowing yourself to be an idiot. The game is based around our wonderful political system. It will somewhat resemble the SIM games, but with a more first person approach. The objective is to compete for political offices and get them… no matter the cost. You’ll start out as a lowly citizen with very little money and no experience. As you advance through certain “quests” you’ll gain XP and be able to compete for entry level positions on town councils. While there you’ll forge important relationships that you can take advantage of later in the game. In the early stages of the game you need to be careful, angering already elected officials is a bad idea and may cost you popularity points. All thru out the game you’ll need massive amounts of money for various things. You’ll find that one of the easiest ways to gain funds for your thriving political machine, is to extort it and launder it through several charities and foundations that are set up in a manner to appear legal. Other methods include siphoning money off of your own or friends businesses, and having been a celebrity in the past (this game will allow characters to transfer their fame from games like DDR, Karaoke Revolution, Unreal Tournament, Rainbow Six, Worms Armageddon, Mine Sweeper and Spider Solitaire). When you feel you’re ready, you can compete for Mayor. If you feel you just can’t wait until election time, you could oust the old looser in a number of ways. These range from simple slander of his/her name up to hiring a hit man to “take care of business”. These same tactics will come in handy in many stages of the game. Once you’ve won the Mayoral election, it’s time to start thinking big. From this point you can slowly advance your political career through small stepping stones or shoot straight for governor, senator, congressman, or even presidency. They key to survival is to get a lot of friends who have a lot of friends (preferably who are rich and stupid) and make a lot of promises that the “voters” want to hear (i.e. lower taxes, cop on every corner, cracking down on crime, free chocolate, and don’t forget licking babies, etc). These investors will expect something in return, so you can choose how to reward them in any way you see fit (position in the white house or a nice shiny pair of concrete loafers). Once you’ve clawed and fought your way into the presidency, it’s time to keep it by any means deemed necessary. Various ways of doing this may include but are defiantly not limited to: starting a war, becoming everyone’s best friend, making good on your promises (which you never really intended to do in the first place, and may raise your popularity to dangerously high levels), destroying foreign relations only to build them back up, and any other way you can think of. The game will feature a variety of challenges to make it a new experience every time. For instance, there will be an “adult” portion of the game where you can have your very own sex scandal, there may be terrorist activities that need to be dealt with, past friends or co-workers that will try to expose your shady background that need to disappear or be paid off, and many other things which will distract you from sneaking furniture out of the white house. The game will display a “Public Opinionometer” which will display your popularity. When this falls below 50% you know you’re a bona fide politician. When elections come around it’s time to win a second term. Remember, it doesn’t matter what the “voters” think of you just as long as it’s ever so slightly better than what they think of your opponent(s). This is where it’s time to dig up some dirt on them, but remember that they’ll be doing the same on you. Discredit them in debates with confusing statements like “the only thing my opponent has been consistent on is being inconsistent”. Remember the “voters” are like cattle, they’re unintelligent and tend to stay in groups. If possible, purchase your opponents supporters and/or companies or bankrupt them to pull the funding from underneath them. The game has no rules, and will allow you to do almost anything at any time, so take advantage of it. There will be multi player and online versions available as well so you can play with other aspiring jackasses. The release date is TBA, but trailers will be coming soon!

So you think you're evil, eh?

Well it’s August now, and I’m feeling a whole new maturity about myself. I can hardly remember the last time I tried to urinate on someone from the top of ‘D’ deck…. no wait it was last Thursday. But other than that one lapse, maturity wise I am practically up there with Abe Lincoln and Moses. So by Wednesday, I should be done with all of my classes for this semester and have 2 weeks before the next ones start. Nikki and I have been talking about doing a camping trip with everyone, but pinning down a date seems to be getting harder and harder. We were thinking of going somewhere close that everyone could just pop up to at their convenience, but I am having trouble finding a nice place that fits that is close. I suppose we could go up to Hope campground in Provo canyon but I think it is a pay site and all that annoying stuff. Anyone who is still interested in coming should include in their obligatory post what dates would work for them. So the antelope hunt starts in about 4 weeks, and Nikki will actually get to hunt this year. I think it’ll be pretty cool, I just hope she is excited as I am. Well, having seen you all recently I am a little bit out of ideas to write about. This, unfortunately, is when I am prone to developing things which make others look at me funny. But worry not kids, I’ll come up with something mildly amusing or die trying. Or try dying, or do some TY DYING!! (This is where I insert small talk to get things going, so hang on for a minute) The other day I read a thing on KSL about bedbugs making a come back across the US. I didn’t know they were real! I always thought it was some stupid thing you said when telling someone goodnight. Apparently they are a very real little bug that is kind of a cross between a tick and a mosquito. Having never seen one, it has already made my list of “Things That Must Die!” right along with hornets, although not surpassing. This list tends to change in size depending on my mood. It is supplemented by my list of “Ways to Kill Things!” which is constantly growing longer and more creative as I learn more about being a super villain. Speaking of which, being on the road to super villain-ness, in an “I can’t play the organ and I am not gay” kind of very masculine way, has had its share of observations. (I just realized that that whole conversation was just between Chris and I, so allow me to elaborate a little. I made an observation that many of the super villains of old were buff and could all play the organ. Anyway long story short, super villains are no longer creative in their “evil” plots and are becoming more gay as time goes on. It’s like I told Chris, “Next thing you know, someone’s ‘evil’ plot will consist of a terribly over complicated scheme to break Martha Stewart out of prison in hopes that she’ll name a line of kitchen gadgets after you!” this is the pinnacle of gay super villain plots) Observation #1: I am NOT gay. #2, I cannot play the organ. #3, I am far more creative than many of the super villains out there today. Take your average bad guy from any movie, for fun lets say Dr. Octopus from Spiderman 2. He was more of an accident than anything as he didn’t intend to become evil. He’s more of a genius that screwed up. Furthermore, what was his big plan? I forget…. BUT that just goes to show you how lame it was. A REAL bad guy plan is one that people talk about for years and years! So that brings us to #4, accidents don’t count. When the creation becomes smarter and stronger than the creator, it’s no longer ‘Artificial’ Intelligence. #5, Bad guys, though they may be gay (but not me!), tend to have really cool hideouts. Some of them are SO cool that they can’t even be considered a hideout, because you can’t help but notice it. Exceptions to this rule include: Skeletor. I mean come on, a giant skull? Sounds to me like someone is trying a little too hard to convince everyone that “they can be evil too, dang-it”. The Decepticons. A desert fortress that when viewed from above looks like a boobie? Nothing strikes fear in the heart of the enemy like a giant breast! And while we’re talking about how lame the Decepticons are, let’s talk about their ‘evil’ plot. Supposedly they came from some outer space-ness to rob the earth of energy. Am I the only one who realizes that the sun is spewing out immeasurable amounts of energy every second, and only the tiniest of tiny percentages is actually used by the planets in the solar system? It seems to me like driving to Las Vegas to eat an ant off the sidewalk even though there is a free all you can eat buffet about ten feet from you! And as far as plots, lets talk about Snidely Whiplash who's plot is to steal a beautiful woman only to tie her up and put her on a railroad track! Where did you get this idea? What is wrong with you? You don't get any money, fame, power, all you get is an angry moron of a canadian mountey that makes you look like a fool! Anyway, cool hideouts. #6, maniacal laugh. CHECK! I have been practicing my maniacal laugh and have gotten nearly as good as ‘the Master’, which is to say the professor from the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. #7, Name… I think this is where many villains fall short. A bad name tends to suggest how you’ll die. With a name like ‘Dark Man’ you’re most likely to loose your footing, fall off a roof and break you neck. How about something like the Green Lantern: Tips over and curiously bursts into flames. The Wicked Witch of the West: (again, trying too hard to be evil) The amazing Rando smashes her with Dorothy’s house! The Queen (from snow white and the seven dwarves, this is where indecisiveness meets deadline. You know she just couldn’t think of a name so everyone just started calling her ‘the queen’): Marries the hunchback of Notre Dame and has 3 beautiful children, which she can’t name either so everyone just calls them ‘the Prince/Princess’. There are exceptions to this rule too. Take for instance the Alien from the movie the Alien. Something that truly evil and frightening doesn’t need a name, except maybe ‘P.A.I.N.’ or something cool like that. These are some of the things I have absorbed through my endeavors to become a ‘true’ villain. I think part of the reason that some of the villains of late are total twonks is what they have to learn from. All of the ‘good’ villains are retires, having won their fortunes and schemes and living happily on some wicked cool island and worrying about whether they are getting enough fiber. With no teachers out there, aspiring villains are forced to result to the internet (a series of tubes) for guidance. According to http://www.boxofficecritic.com/bestofdetail.asp?id=26&pageno=1, the key ingredients to a super villain are “a great entrance…” and “a homicidal streak”. It also mentions that you don’t need to be “human… or real” to be a villain. With such guidance many would think that ANYONE can become an evil genius. It is my hope that when I achieve my greatness I’ll open up “The School for Aspiring Villains” somewhere off the coast of Madagascar. It’ll be a private school and will be funded by the stolen fortunes of Columbian drug lords. Should any of my friends want to attend, admission will be free of charge and I’ll waive the customary “Have you got what it takes to be a Super-Villain” entrance exam. Well I’ve got some drug lords to piss off, so I’ll see you later!